


Set Me Free

by SetoAngel01



Category: Sing (2016)
Genre: Ash can be a bit melodramatic, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Best Friends, Confessions, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, Johnny is far too pure for this world, Johnny will make it better, Lance really fucked her up, Sweet, but don't worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 69,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9238055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SetoAngel01/pseuds/SetoAngel01
Summary: Ash desperately tries to rationalize her new-found attraction toward Johnny - it doesn’t go so well…or does it? I guess it depends on who you ask.





	1. Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I finally did it. I have gave into my hopeless obsession with these two. Please, send help before this coupling completely does me in…
> 
> P.S. If any of the time-line is messed up, I apologize; I only saw the movie once and I don’t have the best memory. Forgive me, just try to go along with it the best you can lol.

* * *

This was stupid.

Like, really, **really** stupid.

…and try as she might to try and rationalize the strange sensation of a million butterflies trying desperately to escape through her bellybutton, she was damn near certain there was something urgently wrong with her.

For less than six, count 'em, _**six**_ months ago, she was getting her heart brutally ripped out from her chest by some guy she felt these exact same feelings toward once upon a time. Could still remember the sharp stabbing pain of his blatant rejection; cheating on her in _their_ house. The one they rented since they both finished high school in the hopes of starting a band and making it big…a dream that seemed impossible at one time…

Lance was her first and only in all senses of the word. The two met in middle school, began dating almost immediately, moved in and were supposedly going to be together forever - well, up until aforementioned six months prior when the bastard decided to cheat on her. Bringing in someone else when she was out of the house; only being gone and continuing the competition in the efforts to win the $100,000 to make life better for them!

**THEM!**

Not her - _them_ \- for she was not at all a selfish conniving prick like he turned out to be!

How utterly _blind_ she had been the entire time; so enamored with his resonance, artistry, and ability to write his own songs, play guitar (he was the one who taught her after all), and sing. For awhile, she was content with pleasuring and stroking his enormous ego - building him up to be this untouchable artist and musician who deserved for the world to be his stage and fans to frolic and worship at his feet.

For a long time, she was okay with being his "hot little background singer" as he coined her many times before. Simply eye-candy to draw a decent-sized crowd while his voice and talents kept them sucked in. Background, side-kick, just someone to support him in his own endeavors while he hammered her own self-confidence into the ground. Although, Ash would give him credit where credit was due. The jerk was able to do it brick by brick and where once this confident outspoken singer became a shell.

Her only purpose it seemed - to please Lance.

Ash kept the house clean, got random jobs to pay their many bills, and all around picked up after the slob who said working " _messed up his song-writing mojo and artistic muse_ ". The once hair-line cracks took form over years of the same old thing. She felt unappreciated so many times, felt obligated to speak up but every time she did, he just gave her that crooked smile, say a few nice lines (that later turned out to be slightly-adjusted song lyrics that he didn't even bother writing himself), and kissed her mouth in that certain way and all would be forgiven.

Yes, there were signs; so many signs that she ignored and pushed to the back of her mind. Those late night "gigs" he magically landed the few nights she couldn't call off of work and he wouldn't show up til the next morning. How he smelt of strange perfume at times but she brushed it off at every opportunity. Those hundreds of times he belittled her own talent, pushing her own talents so far down that she scarcely believed in herself and own abilities at all.

For such a long time, she believed his many lies.

" _You're holding us back, Ash."_

" _You need to let me lead in vocals."_

" _Stop singing so loud."_

" _Turn your guitar amp down."_

" _You're not good enough to be the lead…"_

It took a long time; many years of being belittled and her brushing it off before she began to believe it.

Allowed his doubts and own insecurities to be placed upon her own shoulders; believed wholeheartedly that she was the one holding them back all those years. That her propensity to over-project her vocals and shred on the guitar to drown out his own. The dirty look and demeaning talk he'd have with her afterward always made her chest hurt. She had guilt over perhaps ruining all the chances they had before. Losing gigs to other less talented musicians and never seeming to find their big break that would rocket launch them to super-stardom…

For years she believed it…

Yet it turned out it was the other way around…well, according to Buster Moon anyway.

Buster had chosen **her** and instead of being at all supportive of her opportunity, Lance downplayed her talents. Minimized Buster's kind words and made it seemed like it was the wrong choice to even accept this generous possibility just because it wasn't _him_ that got chosen.

Lance dug the knife in deeper; dismissing her talents like many times before.

" _You can't write your own songs."_

…and a part of her believed it…

Yet, she did something for once; she went against his desires. The pull of 100K was far too great to ignore and she went to the next auditions with her head held high. Ready to win, to show Lance she could do it…if only she would have known what would occur when she was away…

* * *

Ash couldn't describe the horrendous burning and searing pain that enveloped her chest the second she saw them together. This, this _slut_ that threw herself on everyone she knew since high school. This girl who flirted with everything with a pulse and made her school days a living hell was in **their** house - about to kiss **her** boyfriend!

The same boyfriend she'd been with for years; had given, wasted so much of her life with - threw her and their life away like it was trash! Like all of it meant absolutely nothing to him - like _she_ meant nothing…Their whole life suddenly flashed before her eyes in that split-second. Their five year relationship flitted in front of her vision; so many moments and memories that were now permanently tainted by this one.

At first, she saw fire.

Nothing but burning white anger and hatred filtered through her as she screamed. Voice probably attuned to a rabid tiger as she threw him and his whore out; strained as she bellowed and grabbed his guitar (in the case) and flung it at him as hard as she could. Wanting desperately to hurt him if only a fraction of the pain she was currently in. Within her inner-subconscious, she heard his lame excuses, his meandering words that would normally cause doubt landed on deaf ears…there was **no** excusing what he had done.

_Not this time._

The tears came next.

Back firm and cold against the door, she slid down; her vision became nothing but a blur. Round wet tears slipped down her cheeks as her heart beat frantically in her heaving chest. A pain so viable leaked through every single fiber of her being as she brought her folded legs up against her chest.

Burying her face into her knees, she wept.

A girl who never liked to show emotion, learned to hide her true feelings behind her thick eyeliner and punk rocker attitude - fell completely apart.

* * *

Silently recalled her crying on stage the next day; reluctantly singing that horribly embarrassing pop song " Call Me Maybe" through her tremendous shutters and sobs. How she so easily cried in front of all those practical strangers. To further add insult to injury was having to wear the dreadfully tacky dress Buster had chosen for her.

Yet, Ash couldn't bring herself to care.

Once Buster rightfully dismissed her off the stage and she moved backstage, she began sobbing even harder. Her whole life felt like a huge lie; a great deception in which she had been used and abused throughout most of it. It felt like some kind of demented Twilight Zone or nightmare in which she could not wake up. All she wanted was to be numb; to not feel this cattle prod shooting through her chest cavity and shocking her battered, torn heart over and over again.

A part of her just wanted to die for death _had_ to be easier than this. A sensation of complete worthlessness filled her chest. Most of her world revolved around Lance and their life together and now that was gone. Left with a shell of herself. It was as if she didn't know who she was anymore without him

… _and she hated it…_

Ash couldn't help but flinch at the sensation of a hand on her shoulder. Peering teary blue eyes up she met the warm blue irises of a female pig with a gentle smile. A motherly smile; something else which she had little knowledge of for her own mother wasn't exactly a model parent nor did she ever try to be. Just went to work to leave Ash to her own devices most of the time; over cooked tv dinners and cold cereal all she ever bothered to make for her. Wasn't exactly motherly but what did she know?

So, at first Ash was more than a bit hesitant even as the woman reached out to hand her a tissue. Peering up one more time to meet her eyes, Ash felt strangely at ease and took it; dabbing her swollen eyes before rudely blowing her nose. The pig, later she knew as Rosita, unfazed by any of it, sat next to her and placed a hand on her back. Being comforted was a strange feeling; especially given by a virtual stranger, yet Rosita's voice was soft, kind, and accepting.

Her only question; " _What happened_?"

Without warning, her chest seized and pain intensified deep in her stomach. Flashes of Lance and Becky singing together before leaning in for a kiss. Their whole life together nothing more than a big fat lie and damn, it hurt so bad! Body screamed for relief and without any rhyme or reason, the words just flowed out with just a bit of prompting. Rosita's hooven hand strangely cool as she rubbed small circles on her shoulder as Ash spoke in broken sobs of what her asshole ex-boyfriend had done.

Although rather vague, she gave her the gist of it through her tears and shuttering breaths. Rosita said she was better off and and Gunter (who walked in and listened in at some point) hurled strange insults toward her slimy ex. That felt good to hear even if they didn't make a lick of sense. Yet, it didn't admonish the bile in her gut and throat completely.

Ash still felt unbearably hallow; scooped out of her organs and bones leaving her pelt to dry in a cold blistering wind. Never did she think emotions could hold an almost physical pain…

It didn't end there.

Buster's voice broke through her melancholy for only a moment as he called Rosita and Gunter. Again, Ash was hit with a wave of ice. She didn't want to be left alone again; not when she just experienced a touch of sunshine through her hurricane of icy black pain…

"Here," Rosita said suddenly, plopping a rather heavy yellow tote onto Ash's lap, "There should be some gum or candy in there. Help yourself."

Ash couldn't stop the half smile that arose on her face when she met those kind motherly eyes for a split second before she left. Once the pigs were gone, she was lost in her own head. Shaking paw subconsciously scooping out a few hard candies and a stick of gum if only to keep from doing those ugly blubbering cries. Sniffling softly, she began popping them into her mouth. These were strangers. To think, a virtual unknown had treated her nicer than her boyfriend of five years had recently. It didn't seem possible at first. They had no reason to be kind; no reason to care about this girl, this competition that threatened their winnings. If anything, they should have been celebrating an easier win by defeating a broken girl who gave the worst performance of her life…yet, they comforted her for nothing other than the kindness of their heart.

That fact somehow broke through this horrendous depression that settled in her gut - _if only a little._

"Rosita, Rosita!" A panicked voice with an attractive accent was more of a mumble in her subconscious as Johnny appeared out of nowhere. Barreling over to the pig in question; them speaking for a moment and Ash turned her eyes away; she wasn't one to pry after all.

Ash ignored him at first; her own fingers rubbing at the crinkling wrapper as she further mused over her situation. Not even noticing when the gorilla sat beside her for she was acquainted with him somewhat; saw him a few times before, the auditions and in glimpses for the few days of rehearsals they had. She felt his eyes on her for a moment and out of complete instinct, she peered up. He visibly flinched when she caught his stare and the nervous smile he gave her was un-returned. She immediately turned her face away and continued playing with the candy wrapper.

Ignoring him was not easy in the least. He was jumpy, legs shaking slightly and hands nervously folding over and over again in his lap. Every few seconds, he'd pull back his sleeves to peer down at a really nice watch; as if staring at the device would really make time go any faster.

"I-I'm sorry," he said as if speaking to himself yet she was certain he could sense her displeasure of him jittering the box they sat upon. "Just a bit nervous, I suppose."

"...You'll do fine." she muttered with a sigh; quickly recalling him practicing from her spot backstage. His voice projected well and had a nice R&B tone to it; a natural talent she supposed. If saying that would make him stop acting hysterically nervous it was worth her own dignity for even admitting it.

"Heh. Thanks. I -" he started when Buster called him upstage. He jumped to his feet and was about to leave when he shot back a look at her, "Um, good luck, Ash. I know you'll do great next time."

The sound of her name on his tongue and the contents of his sentence had her almost swallowing hers. To think he'd heard and saw her awful performance caused nausea when it hit her as to why she would even care! Yet, it didn't stop the spark alighting in her chest at his words and smile that accompanied it. A rise of strange emotions she thought she knew far too well once upon a time exploded in her chest without her permission.

That was more or less where it started…


	2. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash tries to ignore these strange feelings as she delves deeper into her ex-boyfriend's betrayal and lies she begins to believe. But perhaps some encouragement and therapy is all she needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I just want to say - THANK YOU!
> 
> I could have never even imagined how much positive feedback I would have received on just a single chapter! O_o I am in complete shock y'all and I hope this next one does not disappoint. It's also nice to know there are so many fellow AshxJohnny (Jash? Joash? Ashnny? lol…idk) shippers out there. xoxo
> 
> Also, as tempted as I am to add song lyrics to these scenes, I find it better to just listen to the song as you read certain parts. These were canon in the movie, and I'll typically let you know what song it is if you care to give it a listen during the read. I feel it adds extra depth (I did while writing) but is not necessary at all. ;-P
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments, faves, favorites, follows, kudos, and bookmarks! I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Ash thought she may throw up.

The sugary bubble gum she was chewing suddenly tasted of ashes in her mouth the very instant this strange feeling befell over her. Nothing she could have anticipated or expected just tidal waved through her delicate body and she was having none of it. Using the last shred of control Ash had, she utilized it to ignore them. Pretended she _didn't_ hear those kind words, and she did not, I repeat, did **NOT** appreciate his gentle and somehow compassionate smile.

Pushed away any sort of indication of anything other than indifference; blaming these indiscretions on her own faltering emotional state. She hardly trusted _anything_ right now; especially a nice smile and some encouraging words from an attractive guy (did she really just think that?). Besides - what did it **matter**? She'd already learned her lesson the hard way, thank you very much.

Ash dared not return his kind statement nor didn't bother looking at him anymore. She instead decided to turn her face away and valiantly try to ignore Johnny even as he made a rather amusing display of pushing the piano onto the stage; the egregious squeak accompanying made her fur and quills prickle and stand up on end.

Feeling more than a little annoyed at this point, she took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves. Reaching back into Rosita's bag to grab another small handful of butterscotch candies, she began unwrapping one when Johnny's playing and singing filtered through the bitter clouds of her crippling depression.

The song was "All of Me". She reluctantly admitted that the choice fit him perfectly. Soulful tones befitting of the ballad and she had to acknowledge that it was pleasant even if a sappy love song was the _**last**_ thing she wanted to hear right now.

Halfway listening, she reluctantly appreciated those strong vocals, its deep raspy quality and his impressive vibrato yet as soulful and annoyingly pure as his voice was - his piano playing _desperately_ needed work. (For all she knew, he could be doing great considering he was learning piano from a thousand year old lizard.) Ash listened and slightly flinched as he'd missed note after note on the ivory keys and his voice faltered with it at times in what had to be embarrassment or nerves. It was almost painful to listen to and whatever embarrassment she may have felt about her own performance were dulled but it didn't make it feel good to hear someone else screwing up…

Before she could even fathom that strange musing, Rosita reappeared through the thick burgundy curtains. Gunter was close behind; wearing a rather inappropriate, not to mention skintight, costume as he sauntered after her.

Ash's brows furrowed slightly; one ear subconsciously listening to Johnny and the other trying to figure just exactly what was wrong with Rosita. The two pigs were speaking back and forth and Rosita was rubbing at her reddened nose and seemed in distress. The side of Ash that wasn't mourning her own emotional status or trying to rationalize her strange thoughts was desperate to rise to her feet and return some of that comfort Rosita had provided earlier. Only problem was that her tongue wouldn't exactly work because frankly, what could she say?

"Rosita, you don't need za papers or learn da steps! Ya need to **feel** it! Feel zha fire un _desire_!" Gunter explained in a thick accent; sauntering his hips sensually and Ash's nausea returned with a vengeance.

"The fire went out a long time ago…" Rosita replied; a dejected sigh exiting her lips as she reached for the yellow tote that leaned on Ash's side. The female pig gave her a sad smile while pushing the straps up her shoulder.

Ash was more confused about what exactly happened; feeling suddenly terrible that she didn't even bother paying attention to Rosita's performance… Guilt was not a welcome emotion now but it plagued her regardless.

"I'm sorry. I-I gotta go." Rosita breathed and before Ash could squeak out a single word, the kind woman had disappeared around the corner.

Legs finally working, she bounded off the tall box and took a few steps toward the direction she left, but Rosita was already long gone.

"Rosita, wait." Ash breathed out fruitlessly when Meena made her presence known.

"I-Is she alright?" the soft-spoken elephant asked Gunter whom let out a dramatic sigh while zipping up his golden jacket.

"Yah," the pig said with a dismissive flourishing hand, "Jus needs ta feel da rhythm is all! Do not worry! She'll ze back." with those words, Gunter suddenly disappeared the way Rosita came but neither Ash nor Meena felt compelled to stop or follow him.

Ash stared after the pigs for a few seconds and when she turned her attention back to where Meena was once standing, the elephant was gone as well. Now with literally nothing left to hold her attention, Ash relocated back to her seat upon the music equipment box.

Truthfully, she wasn't even sure why she was still here. Her only chance of the day already exploded in her face and there was really no reason to prolong her suffering. Letting a sigh inch its way from her throat, she stared down at her lap. Hands cradling a few remaining candies and the guilt began eating away at her stomach. Wishing she'd said more to comfort Rosita in whatever occurred but at this point, what did it matter? What did any of this?

Chewing at her gum again to ignore how her stomach flip-flopped in her stomach, she popped a bubble and a voice she thought she'd blocked out began echoing into the now silent backstage. Ash was just as surprised as anyone that Johnny was indeed still singing. It'd felt a lifetime since he disappeared behind the mahogany curtains and it had been less than three minutes. Starting the final bridge of the song, his voice remained strong and powerful; Ash reluctantly had to hand it to him - as amateurish of a pianist he was, he still wasn't giving up. Vocals stronger as he tried to overpower the off-key notes or at some points went almost completely acapella; at some points it worked…kinda…not really.

But hell, at least he was trying. It beat blubbering and sobbing like she'd done.

A sudden tidal wave of embarrassment washed over and filtered through her body; own lingering doubts began their hostile takeover. _What if it happened again?_ She could hardly trust herself to keep it together for a single damn song and her own emotional status was deteriorating by the second… There were so much uncertainty and inklings as to everything that could and probably would go wrong the next time around. Figuring out how to get over this breakup and write a new song?! It all seemed far too impossible; too great a hurdle to overcome in her delicate state…

_Maybe Lance was right…maybe she_ _**couldn't** _ _do this…_

Continence falling, she felt her eyes getting blurry again but she quickly wiped the moisture away. She'd cried enough for one day. Perhaps she should be truthful with Buster. Perhaps he was wrong to even pick her let alone let her get this far. She's already did a hell of a job proving how unfit she could be; allowing her emotions to ruin her performance and Lance's harsh words to control her. Perhaps she didn't deserve another chance let alone at $100,000…perhaps she should just…

Suddenly, like a bat outta hell, Johnny barreled through the curtains. At a full sprint, he passed her and almost tripped up the stairs as he burst through the backstage entrance. As the door slowly had yet to close behind the gorilla, she heard the primal roar of an engine and the harsh squeal of tires before a deafening silence befell the entire area. Before she even could breathe yet alone figure out what happened or had gotten into Johnny, Buster's frustrated voice broke out.

"Johnny? **Johnny?!** …ugh... Where did that boy go now?"

The slight confusion on her part faltered when Buster continued a second later.

"Oh well. Anyway, is that all, Ms. Crawley? Did those raccoon's ever leave?"

"I believe they're still practicing in the backrooms. I'll remove them now, Mr. Moon." she replied in that slow stuttering tone and you could hear her tail dragging as she moved slowly toward that direction.

"No, no, no, I just…" Buster dramatically sighed out his obvious frustration and Ash figured there was no time like the present.

Smoothing out the wrinkles on the silver dress and spitting her gum in an extra candy wrapper, she jumped from the box, pushed through the curtains, and exited to the stage. The bright lights were not at all appreciated; hating how it distorted her vision as she made her way to the orchestra pit.

There in his normal seat was busy-body Buster Moon; the koala distracted, organizing his many sheets of paper work to notice her appearance.

"Mr. Moon?" Ash asked respectfully, loathing how her voice was so nasally and cracked; she harshly cleared her throat to remedy the problem.

"Oh." wide blue eyes lifted to meet hers, "Yes. Ash? Um…M-May I help you? I thought I sent you home. You are dismissed."

"Yeah, Um, listen, I don't think I can do this. I really screwed up today and -" Ash started; the confidence she once prided herself in was almost completely vanquished.

"Mr. Moon, Judith from the bank is on line two again!" Ms. Crawley interrupted from another room and it was hard not to notice how his fur prickled at the voice. Whether it was from the voice itself or its contents, she wasn't sure. Perhaps it was both. All she knew was it must have bothered him enough to rush up to the stage and stand next to her.

"Thank you, Ms. Crawley, just tell her I'm with a client and I'll call her back later… _tomorrow_!" Buster called back.

"But you said -"

" **Thank you, Ms. Crawley!** " he shouted this time between gritted teeth, his hands shook and if Ash wasn't uncomfortable before, she was a flat-out awkward duck now.

"Look, if this is a bad time -" Ash started.

"No, no, _no_! Listen, Ash. We **all** have bad days. _**Believe**_ me." he emphasized by folding his hands and lifting himself higher on his toes for a moment. Eyes majority staying on her but tended to flick toward other areas as if planning an escape. If she wasn't so lost in her own problems, perhaps it would have been a bit more suspicious.

"I-I don't -"

"Ash, it's _okay_." his voice was quick and movements even more so as he placed a small hand on her shoulder, " _Everyone_ struggled today. It **happens**! Oh, Lord _knows_ it does, but hey, that's show business for you! The point is - there's _bound_ to be a bad performance here and there. What's _important_ is **you** come back to prove yourself!"

Ash desperately wanted to refute his confident nature but he spoke it so genuinely that it couldn't be ignored. Her tongue remained silent.

"I know you have a ton of potential and it's about time you put it to work! Alright? Is that all you needed?"

"...uh…Y-Yeah…" she sighed.

"Great! You're excused. Now, run along. I'll see you on Friday morning. Alright? Perhaps with a different song, m'kay?" Buster's words were quickly spoken with dismissive hand gestures, but they hit home. Icy blue eyes and mouth hanging wide open as the koala smiled nervously and waved her off before he quickly escaped with short quick steps into the backstage area. A very nervous Meena, who apparently had been standing there the entire time, gave her a small wave before following after him.

Ash just stood there as if frozen in time. Her heart more or less battered and weak as it beat against her pained rib-cage. The hurt was hard to ignore; a constant ache she was certain wouldn't dissipate felt…lighter somehow.

For someone else to speak those words seemed to make it more graspable reality. It wasn't over even if her heart pitter-pattered painfully in her chest; the bleeding organ screaming and flopping pathetically in her chest. While Lance's betrayal was just so fresh leaving her little time to think of anything else, there was some truth to it.

_This_ _**wasn't** _ _over._

Buster didn't throw her out or reject her even though frankly, she kinda deserved to be. As small as a chance there was of her picking herself up and performing for him again - _there was still a chance!_

A flicker; a light she was afraid had went out permanently sparked inside her chest. There was a sudden underlining anger to her grief; a desperate desire to prove Lance **wrong**. And it sure wouldn't be found in any of those lame songs Buster kept choosing for her. Ash needed more sustenance; more fuel for the fire that came to life and began to rage deep inside her gut. Before she realized what happened, she felt more alive; more determined than ever to prove Lance **wrong**. To prove she didn't need him and never did.

…and she was more determined than ever to make sure he KNEW it…

With trembling fists, Ash smirked and ran backstage to change and head back home.

* * *

As confidence steadily leaked back, it still wasn't easy to be back in thei- _ **her**_ apartment.

A strange feeling fell over her just to enter the space. It was so obvious now just how utterly **loud** Lance had been. The television, radio, or his amps always blaring and to come home to it dark and empty was almost soul-crushing.

Silence.

Nothing but utter silence enveloped her much like the inky darkness surrounding.

Flicking on the light switch, she was greeted with his belongings. His CD's, DVD's, and sheet music all scattered around the floor, band posters littering the walls, mike and guitar stands propped up in the corners. Further looking upon it as if for the first time, she took in the tattered remains of what used to be their life. Picture frames littered around on their coffee table and walls; some of the frames old and hung crooked, but neither cared at the time.

Ash placed down her guitar gently as she tried to ignore the bile that rose to her throat.

A familiar pain greeted her much like an old friend; this withered sensation washed over every fiber of her being as she walked through her house. The rooms filled with stuff they'd bought during their time together. Mismatched plates, bowls, and cups in the cabinets and some piled in the sink. Junk food and soda well-stocked in the cabinets and fridge. It was as if it had been a fragment of time; wall cracks scattered throughout; peeling paint in neglected areas, and perhaps one too many stains in the carpeting. Lance always had a bad habit of spilling food or drink and when she wasn't home, it would leave it time to set. He never even bothered to try cleaning it up himself…Shaking her head subconsciously as a few of those fights flashed through her mind as she made her way to the bedroom.

Light pouring in from the flick of a switch, she quietly took it in. The sheets and comforter of the bed wrinkled and unmade from her previous night alone in it. Clean laundry haphazardly folded at the foot of thei- **her** bed. Her books on her night table and Lance's wrinkled and rolled-up magazines littered his side. Always recalled how she had to clean up after him; pick up his food scraps, dirty laundry, balled-up sheet music, and random trash scattered everywhere. At the time, it seemed almost normal but now it had her stomach sinking when she recalled the very few, if any, times he said " _thank you_ " for all her hard work.

Scarcely could remember the last time he said a kind word; not dismissive or borderline cruel - just anything encouraging! …and she couldn't…

A sudden anger flared to life in her chest.

This - their life had really meant _nothing_ to him! Sure, it wasn't perfect in any sense of the word, but it had been _**their**_ life. A life he threw away as if it meant nothing to him; as if _she_ were worthless to him.

Five years in which she believed in his many lies. Fallen so deeply in love with a deceiver; one that would toss her aside like a dirty tissue without another thought. How meaningless this all felt. To think just days ago he was here and she couldn't be more content with life. Those mornings before the audition where they were so utterly excited for the chance to become superstars and win a bunch of money. The world had felt so vast and full of opportunity; she had her boyfriend of five years beside her, holding her hand in a tight grasp. Together, they were going to make it happen…

It took just days to bring the ship crashing down in an epic explosion.

Ash didn't even bother fathom that night again; didn't care to remember tossing and turning in the sheets that still smelt like him as she tried fruitlessly to fall asleep. A hellish night filled with crying and weeping with scarcely stopping for breath. She felt like she was dying inside; as if her other half was physically ripped out through her still beating heart…

To think she'd really loved him…when he likely didn't even know what that word meant…

Paws shaking precariously, her eyes met the picture she kept on her nightstand. The one of many 'selfies' they'd taken over the years. How innocent the world seemed to that girl in the photo; the one never knowing what he'd do later on…

If only she'd knew then what she knew now…

Yet instead of crying like she desperately wanted to; Ash grabbed the frame. Moved throughout the house to collect every single picture of them she could find and loaded them into a pile in front of the couch. Careful not to destroy the frames, she took out every single photograph and tossed them to one side of the room while she placed the now empty frames back where they belonged.

Feet dragging slightly on the rough carpet as she returned to the living room. Staring down at the evidence of their five years together; picture after picture of them through various dates and locations. If she was a stranger looking in, she would say they looked like a happy couple. The cute boy wearing his normal lazy smirk and this pretty girl looking so damn naive and stupid to ever believe a single word he said…

" _You can't write your own songs…"_ his taunting voice invaded her subconscious.

Yet, instead of allowing it to damage her further like he intended, more voices spoke up on her behalf.

" _It sounds to me like you're better off without him. That -that -."_ Rosita's kind voice echoed through her head.

" _-that total super jerk dinkle-shplat!"_ Gunter's voice came in and she couldn't stop that half-smile that rose on her face.

" _I know you have a ton of potential and it's about time you put it to work!"_ Buster weighed in.

" _Good luck, Ash. I know you'll do great next time."_ Johnny's voice suddenly filtered into her subconscious and her heart skipped a beat.

Swallowing thickly and pushing those notions aside, she stared at the picture in her hand. That one time she believed she would be with Lance forever, that he was everything she needed and wanted and just how foolish that sounded now. Lance wasn't worth this pain; wasn't worth this torment he caused her battered heart. She didn't need his approval and never did…She was going to write her own song, dammit, and she was going to do it all without him!

With a agile flick of her wrist, Ash ripped the picture in half with a satisfying tearing noise - in that very moment, she'd never felt so _**free**_ …


	3. Restoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash finishes her song and begins to push forward after the painful breakup. Yet, will she ever get a chance to sing it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all again for all your kind comments, faves, follows, kudos, bookmarks, etc. Y'all are too kind! Hope you enjoy. :-)

* * *

" _Ooh…You set it all free…_ " Ash finished; voice a bit raspy and heavy in her raw throat as she sang out the final words of the song. The slight echo of her apartment causing her vocalization to bounce nicely off the walls.

With the last few strums of notes played before her fingers went lax over the vibrating strings. Stretching out her hand, she sighed as she looked down at her abused paw. Digits were painfully sore; tender, reddened, and deeply indented by the metal guitar strings caused by playing almost constantly for two straight days - perhaps even longer.

Time didn't really seem to be a factor as she lost herself to her music. Spending countless hours wording and re-wording the lyrics, playing and re-playing certain chord progressions, bass lines, and adding notes that fit and removing others that didn't. Going back over it time and time again, wanting it to be just _perfect_ ; a song befitting her struggles and now her overcoming them.

The process was painfully long and arduous and frequently during the process, Ash was tempted to pull out her quills one by one and fling them into the walls to ease her frustrations. Because if she was at all honest with herself, writing her own song was much more difficult than she ever expected. Never fully realizing how certain words just didn't fit in context, not exactly rhyming but it was much more cohesive when they did. Choruses needing power and presence to not be overdone by the verses. There were aspects she never expected to tackle such as timing and figuring out a rhythm that would correlate with the message she wanted to convey.

Long story short, it was ridiculously challenging - yet, now that the hardest part was over, there was only one thing for certain -

_Ash had actually written a song._

It was still in its infancy in some regards. Flitting through different scales and wordings she was still trying to work out - but it was **her** song.

Staring down at her red electric guitar, her mind wandered; the sensation of realizing it began washing over her like gentle, comforting waves upon a beach. A deep and satisfying sense of accomplishment she swore she never experienced before. She'd actually written a song - the feat itself was shocking and astounding and Ash was still trying to come to grips with it all. She thought of these past few days, her own emotional state faltering between anger, resentment and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing, she made it happen; precisely where it came from - she couldn't tell you.

Whether it was from sitting among the remains of her and Lance's tattered relationship in the form of multiple pictures ripped to bits and pieces at her feet or a few of his discarded clothes which she attacked with a pair of scissors and sorely tempted to char with a match if she wasn't afraid of setting her apartment building ablaze. Destroying his entire collection of guitar magazines and lame band posters stabbed with her quills, or whether the words originated from the emotional turmoil she felt toward the entire situation - she wasn't sure.

Most likely all of the above.

Creating the music was simple enough; the words were another.

At first, she tried to purposefully write them out but when that failed spectacularly, she just sat. Staring and contemplating for hours at the remains of her and Lance's relationship scattered around her. Tired of ripping up his stuff to appease her own vengeful urges, she just opened her mouth and words began filing out as if words to a song. His betrayal, her anger and pain at the unfairness of it all - they all just spilled forth and she was lucky enough to get most of them written onto her laptop before they disappeared into the abyss.

Final draft nearly completed, it began to dawn on her. Using his betrayal that was still far too fresh, the wasted time and effort for not noticing it before and how she wasn't going to let it hold her back anymore. Wasn't allotting this jerk the satisfaction of ruining her life anymore than he already accomplished.

This was _her_ chance at redemption; to make a name for herself without him. To push through life and her future career of her own volition and talents rather than relying on his supposed musical genius.

Ash couldn't help but snort and roll her eyes at the thought.

To think how she defended Lance's " _artistry_ " to Buster Moon; how it was everyone else who didn't understand his genius and under-appreciated talents. To realize and come to terms that for all this time how **SHE** was ultimately the biggest fool. The one who couldn't see him for who he really was - a smug entitled asshole who thought the world should be served to him on a silver platter.

In his own deluded mind at least.

She had been so _blind_ to his own flaws and shortcomings and instead of trying to improve himself, he just pushed his own insecurities onto her already overburdened shoulders.

Annoyed at the sudden thoughts of him plaguing her mind, she put her guitar down to rub at her face. Exhaustion and anxiety boiling in her stomach and mind as she let out a deep breath to cleanse herself. A few rays of sunshine began prickling at the edges of her quills and fur and within seconds, she jumped as if electrocuted. Leaping for her charging cell phone and stared at the screen. Ignoring all of the missed calls and texts, she honed in on the date and time in utter panic.

" _I'll see you on Friday."_ Buster's voice suddenly filled into her mind; body suddenly thrust into complete overdrive.

Time was running short and she needed to hurry. This was her big chance to redeem and prove herself worthy of a second chance and she did not plan on letting it slip through her fingers this time around…

* * *

Trampling through the front doors of Moon Theater, Ash ran into the last thing she expected - _construction_.

The center and front of the theater completely blocked off with barriers as Buster Moon, Meena, and an unfamiliar sheep were working tirelessly to set up this new stage. A vast assemblage of multiple glass panels set into the stage to create almost an aquarium effect - complete with water filling it up slowly from what she could see from her vantage point.

Frankly, it looked fairly impressive but there was no conceivable way for her to go backstage with the barriers blocking her way. The small crew looked as if the renovations were nearing its completion but the clean-up had yet to be tackled.

So lost in staring at the scene, Ash scarcely noticed when Meena meekly approached.

"H-Hey, Ash." the elephant was barely audible amongst the hammering and rushing water but she met her eyes anyway.

"What's going on here?" Ash asked; gesturing loosely to all of the construction.

"M-Mr. Moon is having a special guest so wanted a nicer backdrop for you guys to perform on. Actually, w-we've been working on it for days."

"That's cool, I guess. So,um - any idea how to get back there so I can change and practice for a bit or…?"

"Oh! Y-Yeah! Mr. Moon said he left a sign outside for you guys. F-For you to use the back entrance - you know, that one over by his office?" the elephant's hands folding nervously in front of her as she answered.

"I think I know where that door is. Uh - Thanks." Ash muttered, feeling a bit peeved at having to go the long way around, but as she turned to leave, Meena spoke out again.

"I-I don't mean to pry, b-but, are you okay? …I-I mean the other day, you just seemed really sad. N-N-Not that I noticed or anything!" large hands rose up in a placating manner and the elephant's face was slowly being engulfed by her own ears. "I-I just wanted to make sure you're alright." Meena stuttered through her sentences and eyes mostly staying on her feet as she spoke.

Clenching her teeth at the sudden inquiry, Ash pushed through her answer as politely as she could warrant right now. Lance and her breakup was a touchy subject and moreover was her dealings with it but she also didn't want to be rude to the meek girl either.

"...Yeah. I'm fine." Ash replied with a slight nod, which Meena accepted with a nervous smile.

Back outside, she walked all the way around the building until she found the camouflaged door between some poles covered in chipped yellow paint. The dusty air from construction was almost immediately intoxicating as she opened the door and shut it behind her; conditions expected from such an old building but was bothersome nonetheless.

A slight spring in her step as she gripped her guitar case tighter; determined to practice it at least a few more times before Buster called them on stage. Her own lyrics and chords going through her head as she made it up the stairs. Eyes subconsciously glancing to a couple of the pictures and posters lining the walls throughout the hallway. Majority of them weathered, cracked with dusty frames; the subjects portrayed were mostly deceased stars that graced the theater once upon a time.

Temporarily passing by Buster's office, she froze mid-step.

The door was ajar and the piano music pouring forth was seemingly pleasant enough to warrant a quick listen. Not seeing a radio or anything of the sort, she was confused as to where exactly it could be coming from.

Allowing her curiosity taking over, she peered into the door crack and saw Johnny over in the far right corner of the room. The gorilla, sans leather jacket, was sitting at the tattered old piano, playing a song she swore she heard before; perhaps from one of her father's records. It wasn't the one he'd played last time and that was about the extent she cared to give it any further thought. Gaze wandering over the strange scene, she took in Ms. Crawley, the ancient iguana fast asleep on the chair a few feet behind him. It was hard to tell she was sleeping at first since her glass eye was peeled wide open; that sight caused Ash's lips to quirk up slightly.

Icy blue eyes flicked back over to Johnny who was lost in his own world. Arms and shoulders swaying, foot tapping, head bobbing along with the beat he was playing. Humming out the up-tempo melody; a few sung words escaping every now and again as he played but it was apparently more to keep his place in the music rather than performing the lyrical aspect.

Ash had to admit that he'd vastly improved - and in such a _ridiculously_ short time.

Her own guitar playing took months for her to attempt more intricate pieces without screwing up and this guy picked it up in more or less than a week! It was nothing compared to the awful plinking and missed notes from the other day; now it was smooth and fluid as his hands tickled the ivories in confidence. Any hint of stubborn jealousy fell to the wayside as she marveled in her own victory; being able to write her own song in two days and if he was able to learn a song on the piano in the same amount of time, well, perhaps miracles did happen…

A missed note abruptly rang out and an instantaneous groan of frustration filled her ears.

Perhaps she'd spoken too soon.

"Ugh! I almost **had** it…." Johnny exclaimed; accented voice muffled from stuffing his face into his hands. Ms. Crawley didn't so much as twitch as the gorilla stubbornly hit the keys with clenched fists. " _ **Bugger**_!" he grumbled; forehead pressed on the keys and the piano groaned loudly under his weight.

The almost curse, if you could call that, had a slight chuckle tickling Ash's throat when she heard it because it was surprising to see the gorilla acting as such. Yet, what surprised her more was how quickly he picked himself up; almost immediately, he took a deep breath and gave himself a quick pep talk before the song started again from the top.

Ash had to give Johnny credit where it was due - the guy didn't give up…

A sudden slam of a door down the hall had her flinch and realize she'd been standing here far too long already. Own career and chance at the money on the line was far more important than checking out the competition…

 _Not like_ _ **that,**_ _dammit!_ _…_ she grumbled internally while shaking her head of any further pesky thoughts; chalking their escape up to her incredible exhaustion. Refusing to spare Johnny another glance, she disappeared down the stairs to the practice rooms.

* * *

Roughly an hour later, Meena had told them to meet Buster Moon backstage.

For no apparent reason, Ash was tense and beside herself. Reluctantly dressed in the atrocious outfit Buster had chosen; a sudden bundle of nerves caused by her exhaustion and wariness weighing down on her. Realizing she was about to perform something so personal in front of everyone; essentially airing out her dirty laundry among these random acquaintances. Sure, alone and lost in her own thoughts, the song came out but did it warrant her singing her own struggles with her ex to them?!

"Alright. I'll be calling you back one by one! Johnny, you're up first, so get ready." Buster announced, the koala bounding through the backstage and looking over each of them.

"Yes, sir." the gorilla replied politely as Buster moved closer to the stage.

"Good. Everyone else know their numbers?"

"Ya!" Gunter announced with an exuberant flourish but the rest of the crew just gave the koala a stiff nod.

"Alright! Break a leg, everybody!" Buster encouraged before he was gone with a flick of the curtain.

Ash was only somewhat aware of anything that was happening around her or on stage; even largely trying to ignore the other performers surrounding her. But as the time ticked on, Ash's icy blue eyes flicked up for only a second to take in her surroundings.

Rosita still seemed less than optimistic about performing but it was a relief to see the kindly pig here considering what had occurred just days ago. Gunter was his normal self; strutting around, jogging in place and adjusting the sequin tracksuit in the mirror that Johnny just vacated. Speaking of whom, the gorilla was leaning against a wall, fingers loosely drumming on his thighs like he was at the piano. Admittedly, less jittery than last time, there was still an almost panic to his motions. The last contestant, Mike, was nowhere to be seen and for that, Ash was rather thankful… Almost as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, the mouse rubbed her the wrong way. Smug superiority lacing every single word coming out of his mouth reminded her _**far**_ too much of a certain cheating bastard…

Tearing her eyes back to her lap, she took a calming breath. Refusing to give Lance a thought right now. This was _her_ moment, _her_ time to shine and he shouldn't get the pleasure of being on her mind during any of this. Putting her hand atop her guitar case as if for comfort, she closed her eyes and relaxed if only for a moment.

Buster's muffled announcements in introducing their show was barely registering to her as she got lost in her own meditations. Lyrics and chords going over and over again in her head as she mentally prepared herself. Still experiencing slight trepidation, she was ready to prove herself in front of Buster Moon and even the special guest he acquired, the famous ex-Broadway performer, Nana Noodleman.

There was so much she wanted to prove to them, the world, Lance, and mostly to herself. To demonstrate that she could do this of her own volition. Take pride in her accomplishment - _her_ song and knew singing it today would be the right choice…

A slam of the front doors followed soon by voices bellowing through the theater had the entire group flinch and rise to their feet. Angry, muffled demands were not exactly what any of the performers were expecting. Giving each other curious glances and wondering what to do next was considered for them when the voices turned from demanding to downright furious.

Gunter, Rosita, Johnny, and Ash emerged onstage, with Meena following behind, ran out onto the stage and saw what no one was expecting.

The missing contestant, Mike, was currently being crushed inside the hand of a massive bear with two more, who looked almost identical, standing just inches behind. Before anyone could even mutter a single word, the newcomers beat them to it.

"Where's da money?!" The largest bear growled out; razor sharp teeth bared as he stared down at a very confused Buster Moon.

The koala, seemingly not very intimidated, replied, "Uh - What are you talking about?" Buster was not exactly subtle as he backed up closer to a very pretentious looking chest on stage.

The bears were not amused.

"Please, Moon!" Mike squeaked pathetically as the bear tightened his grip. "They're gonna fuckin' **kill** me!"

"Alright, alright, alright!" Buster stuttered, small hands up in a placating manner as to try and appease the suddenly tense situation. "S-S-Sure. The chest. I-It's all yours, boys. Take it and please vacate my theater."

"Yau op'n eet furst." one of the bears behind the leader spoke up; accent even thicker than the first. As if it wasn't hard enough to understand them…

"Oops. I uh, seemed to have misplaced the key," Buster made a rather convincing show of patting down his pockets, "I think it may be in my office but wouldn't you rather just take the whole thing? It should weigh nothing compared to what you strong gentlemen are probably used to carrying."

The bears answered by squeezing Mike tighter to which the mouse let out a painful squeal and everyone swore they heard an almost muted crack.

"Oh, **look**! There it is! Who would've thought? I found it! Silly me, I keep forgetting about that pocket." Buster chuckled nervously; a single drip of perspiration slipping down his face as he offered the small key to the towering bears.

Suffice to say, they weren't interested in taking it.

" **You** open it." the leader growled deep in his throat and Buster swallowed thickly.

"S-Sure."

You could hear a pin drop as Buster Moon made his way to the chest and popped open the lock. Suddenly, Mike was thrown to the ground and the bears had trampled over to the chest and pushed Buster aside. The koala hitting the stage with a painful thud as the monstrous bears ripped open the wooden box and to the horror of everyone watching…

There was nothing but junk stuffed inside.

"What is dis?" the leader asked the question on everyone's mind.

"T-The uh, prize…" Buster replied with a chuckle.

The contestants watching on were in complete shock at the implications of what Buster was saying. The broken radio and random trash piled inside the now open box… _ **this**_ was the $100,000 they were promised…?

Yet before anyone could even form the ability to speak or demand an explanation, a roar broke out through the theater. The bears stomped angrily toward the downed Buster Moon with their fists raised. The largest slamming his foot right near Buster's skull and the sound that accompanied prickled the hair on every one of their bodies.

It was almost muted at first. The barest breath of wind before a deafening cracking dissonance infiltrated Moon Theater; the group peering up at the hairline cracked that formed before the glass wall exploded in a thundering boom.

* * *

 


	4. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is full of ups and downs but apparently, even as things start to look up, fate isn't quite through with them yet…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for your constant support! Hope you enjoy! :-D

* * *

Nothing could have prepared them for what happened next.

The water tanks glass splintering with horrendous bangs and cracks as the entire group looked on in shock and barely concealed horror. Before anyone could gasp, let alone react, glass and water had literally exploded forth with little warning leaving no one any chance to escape.

A scream prepared to escape from her throat, Ash was silenced when she was literally swallowed up by the waves along with everyone surrounding her.

The weight of the water consuming her into their cold icy depths had her body and mind going into complete shock. Never realizing before just how _heavy_ water was; a strange thought to have when death seemed so imminent, but they flitted through her mind regardless.

All Ash could see was inky blackness as the water raged all around her; washing her throughout the entire theater, throwing her body this way and that like a rag-doll in the hands of a sugar-induced toddler. Quills taut and frilled as she regained control of her body; trying desperately to cushion her fall and find any opportunity to get breath or grab onto _anything_ that could stabilize all the frantic motion of the waves. Arms and legs deliriously kicking and pushing at the force of the liquid but to little avail.

Ash just couldn't find the surface; couldn't break through to find and inhale the sweet oxygen that her lungs so desperately needed. The water was far too powerful; the force of all the rocking and rolling throughout the theater was too strong, too overwhelming for her small body to handle much longer. Air was becoming scarce in her lungs; throat constricting and body shaking in the horrendous realization of the situation that had befallen her.

This was it.

_This was really it…_

Ash was going to die.

About to drown and there was _**nothing**_ she could do to prevent it. Soon, her body would have no choice than to take a breath only to suck in a lungful of water and choke until her vision blurred and blackened and she would be no more - a cruel merciless death at the hands of the unforgiving waves.

A once promising life would be all over.

Her parents to see the fate of their only child on the five o'clock news. A young life with precious little to show for it. A few lame gigs and endless promises that would never be fulfilled. Nothing but a trashed apartment littered with remnants of a cheating asshole and a girl who believed his filthy lies for over five years. To be remembered as a hapless, naive teenager that refused to take her ex-boyfriend's advice and got herself killed in a freak accident…Dying in a flood and the irony wasn't lost on her since she always hated to swim…

No…

No.

**_No!_ **

**NO!**

Not **here** and **definitely** not now.

 _Ash_ _**refused** _ _to go out like this._

There was far too much she wanted to do for it to end in a freakin' squid tank explosion! While kinda epic didn't sound like an all too comfortable way to go out. That thought was enough to induce a rush of reality to bring her out of her own emotional pain she fed into; her own depressing thoughts when she realized how much she wanted to **live**.

Death was **not** welcomed here today!

A sudden jolt of adrenaline was all she needed as she managed to finally push above the surface with a loud gasp; inhaling lungfuls of sweet, sweet oxygen that she would _never_ take for granted again.

Vision blurry, she saw the vague outline of poor Meena trapped in front ticket booth before another tidal wave pushed the elephant through the glass and front doors. Meena's weight too great for the glass to take and before Ash could even react, the glass shattered. The elephant plummeted through the front of the filling auditorium and the water rushed out into the street.

Ash went with it where she was ultimately tossed aside by wave after wave of water until she lay curled by the debris on the concrete street. She had swallowed so much salt water that her throat was tight and she coughed and hacked repeatedly to try and expel most of it from her battered lungs. Not even aware as pieces of beams and concrete were headed right toward her.

There was a swish, a crack, and a thud of a piece of cement that landed somewhere to her left. By the time her ice blue eyes slipped open to see what happened, she found herself in a large shadow. Using a quick arm to swipe at her fuzzy vision until it cleared, she saw Johnny kneeling by her side.

Shock would be a gross understatement as she took in his form in front of her. It was only now she noticed what he'd done; blocked the debris from hitting her and he showcased the efforts with a few cuts that riddled his hands, arms and clothes. The rust color of blood staining part of his blue jeans had her shivering beside herself…

…that's when he said something that literally took her breath away…

"A-Are you alright?" he asked, accent thick in his throat and Ash choked.

Yet another coughing fit taking over in pure astonishment of how he could ask of her well being when he was literally bleeding from multiple lacerations.

 _Just who the hell_ _**was** _ _this guy?!_

When his large hand suddenly appeared on her lower back (careful to avoid her quills), she had the reaction you probably think - she instantly flinched at the contact but it didn't keep him from firmly giving her backs a few pats to help cease her frantic coughing.

"I'm * _hack_ * fine!" she choked out as she tried fruitlessly to push him away. She just wanted him to stop touching her; she didn't want to be fawned over...it just wasn't who she was, dammit! Just what was his reasoning for being so **nice**?!

Johnny seemed to take the hint and pulled his hand away but his eyes stayed on her as she tried her hardest to stand up; her legs shaking so badly and outright refusing to cooperate. Within seconds, she'd fallen back on her rear end and the flush of shame became a arduous reality.

" _Dammit_ …" she muttered the curse under her breath; the heat of embarrassment flushing her cheeks when she realized she really couldn't move much of her own accord.

Without uttering a singly word, Johnny hands reappeared; lightly grasped her arms and began gingerly pulling her to her feet as if she weighed little more than a feather. If her mind wasn't so clouded, she might have been rather astonished at his excessive strength.

Ash reluctantly allowed him; even going as far as to grab onto his leather jacket to give herself some awareness of leverage and gravity that she seemed to have lost almost instantaneously. Once her knees stopped wobbling precariously, she forcefully pushed his hands away and he didn't even flinch at her rather rude contact.

"...thanks." she whispered beside herself, refusing to meet his gaze; shaking hands brushing some random debris off the tacky dress. Realizing she was decided to re-wear the hideous thing made her face even flush further as she refused to look anywhere but her feet.

"You're welcome." Johnny replied steadily and she sensed more than saw him shrug.

Stealing a glance at his legs and the part of his torso that was eye level, she took in the few cuts and scraps he acquired and instantly regretted being a bit bitchy when it was greatly baseless. Yet before she could speak to apologize for her unwarranted behavior, a sudden crash was heard by the precarious structure of Moon Theater.

Without realizing what she was doing, Ash had latched onto Johnny's arm.

It wasn't until in retrospect when she wondered just why the hell she had done that. Perhaps it was because he protected her life once already or he was the closest big thing to hide behind, but she did. She drummed it up to survival instinct to keep her mind less clouded from her own doubts…at least it helped her stop thinking about her near demise if only for a second. Hands retreating when the danger was over - they surveyed the scene.

* * *

The group looked on in shock as the dust cleared; the wind pushing away the debris that clouded their view…and all that remained was a pile of bricks and rubble scattered between the two buildings sandwiching what was now the dusty remains of Moon Theater.

One thing was for certain when they finally gained their bearings - the theater was gone and the truth was aired out - there was _**never**_ a $100,000 grand prize at all….

An eerie calmness fell over all of them as they watched Buster Moon sprint toward the sight and began tilling through whatever remained of his theater. The shock wearing off and all the group came to grips with all of it…

… _Buster had lied to all of them…_

The prize was nowhere near $100,000; instead, it was only $1,000 worth of random junk stuffed into a wooden chest. Yet, instead of just outwardly admitting his own mistake on the fliers, Buster had gone along with the fictitious number instead of rectifying the error immediately. He ran with the lie and brought them all along on this roller-coaster ride knowing full well that there never a prize to be won. In some small way he was using them for publicity and burgeoning his theater from financial collapse; feeding them the falsehood that they were to be rewarded at all.

… _not to mention how easily they could have all died just now…_

For Ash, it was more than the money, blatant lie and cover up.

It brought to the surface many other doubts; how perhaps if he lied so easily about the money, or lack of it, that he also lied about her abilities and talents. Perhaps she really didn't have what it took to make it as a singer and performer; maybe, she never did…

… _what if Lance was right all along…?_

* * *

The remaining animals stood around for a long time. Lost in their own thoughts and worlds as Buster disappeared among his demolished possessions. Any pity they may have felt for the koala was fleeting as they acknowledged just how close they had ultimately came to losing their lives. Sure, those bears weren't exactly Buster's fault but it didn't make his blatant disregard and lies sting any less.

One by one, the group began to depart. Nana Noodleman and her grandson, Eddie fleeing in a car. Mike and the bears that started it all were nowhere to be seen since the water cleared. Rosita left with tears filling her eyes and not far behind her, a strangely demure Gunter. Meena stuck around for a little while to see if anything would further transpire, but when it didn't, she left on foot as well; ears sagging and covering her face as she slipped away into the growing crowd surrounding the rubble…

Soon after, the sirens of police and emergency vehicles arriving were nothing but background noise. Officers and personnel closing off the immediate area and helped to move traffic and file reports for destruction or damaged property. Crews showing up to take pictures, start clean-up, and don't forget the media that almost immediately began filming the carnage and remains of the historic building.

* * *

Lost in all the hubbub was Ash.

Refusing to acknowledge anyone's comings and goings, Ash sat down among the rubble away from prying eyes. It was almost fitting somehow for she had absolutely no desire to leave; her emotional state went far better with the ruins of Moon Theater than her apartment.

Ash was literally left with nothing but a broken heart and even further shattered dreams…and she could have easily lost her life. Could have been dead and her whole existence would literally have nothing to show for it; doubted anyone would even miss her aside from her parents…

 _Ash really had_ _**nothing** _ _left._

Her only options now were to just lay down here and wait for death or to go home and bury her sadness and tattered remains of her life in a pint of double fudge mint ice cream and a pack of cookies like a complete sad-sack. Both options sounded crappy (one obviously less than the other), but before she had much time to ponder them, fate intervened yet again.

Shifting upon her new improvised chair, she winced; ankle developing a rather shooting pain that had her quills tense. The flood apparently had done more damage than her bruised ego and emotional state; now she had a sprained ankle.

 _Fucking_ _ **perfect**_ …

Allowing a sigh to escape her throat, she reached down to rub at the pained ligament. Her adrenaline fading bringing the awareness to her injury. Adding further insult, the sun disappeared behind the clouds and the wind picked up, causing her damp clothes to make her uncomfortably cold and further making the situation that much worse…

"Great…just _great_ …Can this day possibly get any better?" she muttered sarcastically under her breath; shoving her face into her hands only to be interrupted by an unexpected voice.

"So, um…w-where do you live?" Johnny voice broke through the clouds of depression and as much as she tried to ignore him; it appeared he wasn't receiving the hint.

Ash just peered up at his strange question before turning her head away and wiping at some tears that hopefully would be mistaken for her damp fur. Silently mourning her own life and pain; including her rear end that was already terribly sore from the jagged debris digging into her ass.

 _Couldn't he tell that she just wanted to be left_ _**alone** _ _!?_

"Heh. I um-" he stuttered and flushed suddenly as if realizing how strange that question sounded. You know, being virtual strangers and all, yet the side of her that wasn't in a deep funk thought it was kind of endearing in its own weird way. Johnny seemed far too pure to think of anything of the sort anyway.

It still annoyed her nonetheless…

"I-I'm asking because the cops want everyone to vacate the area." Johnny explained.

"So? I really don't care…" Ash shrugged, hoping he'd take the hint and leave her alone.

"Well, it's also getting kinda cold and the train stop is pretty far of a walk when you _do_ decide to go home." the only thought Ash had was how the hell did he knew that she took the train but those thoughts fluttered away when he kept speaking.

"I thought it might be a good idea if I offered you a ride home. I-I have an extra seat in my truck and I'm not _too_ terrible of a driver if you're interested." he continued with a nervous chuckle, sliding in the spot next to her and she had to bite her cheek to keep from rolling her eyes and scooting away.

 _How the hell was he so fuckin'_ _**pleasant** _ _after what just_ _**happened** _ _?!_

"I don't _need_ your charity." Ash exclaimed ruder than intended; a sharp rasp in her voice as she wiped a hand over her leaking nose.

"I know you don't need it, I-I just want to help. It's no trouble, I promise." Johnny replied with his hands up in a placating matter but if anything, it just infuriated her more.

"Just leave me **alone** …okay?" she whispered, loathing how her voice cracked and a few tears leaked from her bloodshot eyes.

"...but…I don't want to. No one should be left alone."

Ash went silent at his words; her own options flitting through her clouded mind as she felt the twinge of pain infiltrating her ankle and as if everything could further be against her, a strong wind suddenly spiked and her cold clothes and fur had her shivering in the breeze.

… _ **Dammit…**_

"I don't **need** your help. Now, just go awa - **ack**!" Ash screamed, punching herself for making a big show of jumping off her seat; ankle and knees buckling underneath her and fresh tears filled her eyes at the horrendous pain that shot through her body as she collapsed to her knees. Ash didn't even have the strength to push Johnny's hands away as he helped her regain her composure and sit her back upon the debris.

Refusing to meet his eyes, Ash dutifully ignored his gentle touch as he moved to caress her ankle with unsure hands.

"Please," he spoke suddenly and the genuine concern in his voice had her chest warming, "…let me help you."

Ash's icy blue eyes lifted and she realized the shift in his demeanor. Where he was at once nervous and anxious the last time they spoke, he seemed strangely calm and complacent in the events of this near-death experience. There was a warmth about him; a kindness she latched onto far too quickly like with Rosita. Perhaps it was her own version of a cry for help or otherwise, she wasn't sure. Maybe because she really had nothing left to lose… Whatever it was, the words poured out before she could filter them out.

Ash barely recalled saying "… _fine_."

"Thank you." he replied, giving her the same smile that had the sensation of butterfly wings thundering on her abdomen walls. She ignored them.

Johnny was silent as he gingerly removed her boot and placed it to the side. A tearing of fabric filled her ears and she curiously looked over to where he was ripping off the bottom part of his jeans. Her gaze questioning, Johnny felt compelled to answer.

"Heh. Don't worry. They're trash anyway. Might as well put it to good use, eh?" he chuckled, wrapping the strip tightly around her ankle to keep her foot steady before slipping her boot back on. "It appears to be just a mild sprain, so that should work for now. Let's see if you can hobble on it a bit."

Suddenly a bit curious how he seemed so sure in his self-diagnosis, Ash was hesitant to obey him. Mostly because she was a bit uncertain to trust anyone right now - perhaps ever. Yet, another glance at his kind face made up her mind for her. Mouth and tongue silent, Ash gingerly lowered to the ground and surprisingly, it didn't hurt as terribly as before and she found herself being able to actually walk on her own.

"Is that alright?" Johnny asked.

Ash shrugged and gave him a slight nod; still feeling a bit out of sorts and wanting the ground to swallow her up. This was not the predicament she did not want to be in right now - or ever for that matter. She never liked to rely on anyone, and certainly not a cute stranger… _dammit_...

"Hmm." Johnny hummed in a pleased manner as he stood up to his full height and motioned to his truck that was parked a block over. "Are you able to walk over to my truck on your own?"

"Yes, I'm not _completely_ helpless..." she replied in a raspy tone; her discontent evident in her voice but she couldn't care less right now.

"Good, um, let's go." he stated before heading in that direction.

Ash reluctantly and wordlessly followed.

Lost in her own thoughts for a moment, as to why the hell she could be doing this and why didn't he just get the hint and leave her be. Why didn't she just tell him to get lost…? Perhaps her injury put her at risk of falling for kindness she wouldn't have before. She hated to admit he was right but had to admit that walking to the train in her condition would have sucked and she doubted anyone else would take pity on the dripping wet teenager with a pissy attitude.

A sudden breeze filtered through and her body shivered automatically; quills bristling in the wind.

Without realizing what happened, a warm weight suddenly brushed along her shoulders and draped over her like a heavy blanket. Ash froze mid-step; eyes quickly peering up as she saw Johnny bending over her slightly. Eyes half-mast and a smile barely creasing the edges of his lips. Eyes gravitating to her own body, his leather jacket was draped over her and without even thinking, she pulled it tighter around herself…

* * *

 


	5. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash suffers an emotional breakdown when she realizes something invaluable is now missing from her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. 100 kudos with only 4 chapters? Wow… Just wow! Y'all completely have blown me away with your constant support! Can't thank you enough for all the faves, follows, kudos, bookmarks, etc.! Hope you enjoy! Xoxo
> 
> Also, I'm going to delve into something the movie didn't answer that kinda bothered me, so stay tuned. Thanks again for all the support! Your comments and the like give me life! Lots of love and thanks for reading! <3

* * *

Solid weight of Johnny's leather jacket around her shoulders, Ash slowly ambled after him toward the direction of his truck. Ankle protesting the movement but not close to painful enough to warrant stopping to appease it. Yet, as they approached, her own trepidation over this entire situation seemed to calm even if she was still reluctant to accept the gorilla's kindness. The reasoning was foreign to her but some part of her knew that pushing it aside now would only make her situation worse.

Instead, Ash fed into the mantra of _"the sooner I get home, the sooner it'll be over"_ to deal with those doubts lingering in the back of her mind.

No, it wouldn't exactly be all unicorns and rainbows the second she walked into her apartment. Far from it considering her life as well as her career were slowly imploding and shattering like broken glass all around her, (seeing the tattered remains of her ex's belongings scattered around wouldn't help either) but at least she'd finally be alone like she so desperately craved…

"Here we are! Wasn't too bad of a walk for you, was it?" Johnny announced upon approaching a black, slightly damaged pick-up truck.

Ash slowed her steps to a trickle as she moved to catch up with the tall gorilla. Ice blue eyes lifting to the vehicle and she was instantly regretting accepting his offer already when she saw there was no feasible way she could physically reach the door handle. The shiny chrome openly mocking her vertically-challenged nature.

_Fucking typical._

"I-I know it isn't much, but gets you from A to point B." Johnny continued; once he no doubt noticed Ash was not going to verbally respond. His pleasant voice droning on was rather grating on her frayed nerves and her tense quills prickled at the fate that befell her today. They nearly just died and he had the nerve to be pleasant and accommodating - it bothered her more than it admittedly should have, but she didn't care at the moment.

For long silent seconds, Ash stared up at the shiny silver door handle and wondered just how the hell she was going to -

All thoughts fell to the wayside when Johnny suddenly appeared at her side and opened the door with a smooth flick of his wrist. His other arm guiding as a gesture of invitation if his toothy smile was an indication enough. If she wasn't already in the throes of depression, humiliation, and near hypothermia she would have thought it was rather sweet.

She barely noticed as his smile suddenly fell and his eyes flicked from the interior of the car and back over to her than further to her ankle. As if suddenly jolted, he knelt down a bit and offered his hand to her.

Ash's eyes lowered to his proffered palm than back to the much too elevated seats; the reoccurring pain in her ankle made it apparent she was not going to humiliate herself further by trying to get up there by herself. Still, she refused to thank him or even spare him another glance whilst she placed her small paw in his large palm and he helped her amble her way up and through the door until she was comfortably seated atop the worn leather seats. Johnny's jacket still draped around her shoulders, she tightened her hold on it when he gingerly closed the door behind her.

Johnny walked around to the rear of the truck, and for a quick moment while he was absent, Ash rested her head back on the seat as her eyes lazily trailed over the interior.

It was clean if a bit worn from use; a few receipts and such littered the center console but other than that, there were no personal effects really. Just a simple air freshener clip fastened onto one of the air vents to give any indication this truck was used much at all. The seat she was sitting on was well indented; springs worn out as she collapsed a bit into the seat so it was obvious someone very heavy frequently sat here. Johnny was large compared to her but pretty small for a full-grown gorilla, so she doubted he was the culprit.

Thoughts immediately scattered when the driver side door suddenly swung open and Ash flinched when she saw Johnny re-adjusting his sweater and it was only now she noticed the visible wrinkles from where he must have removed it to wring it out. The thought of this had her face and tips of her ears heating for reasons she didn't dare ponder long. Forcefully thrusting those out of her head, she instead reached for the seat-belt and strapped herself in if only to give herself something to do. Namely to avoid eye-contact and to lead those previous thoughts astray.

"Alright." Johnny chuckled as he scooted in the driver's seat and applied his seat-belt with a satisfying click. "Y-You ready to go?

"As ready as I'll ever be." she quipped, pulling his jacket tighter around her shoulders to try and shield herself away from his gaze as well as the world and its harsh circumstances.

Johnny didn't verbally reply, just quietly adjusted the mirrors before he placed the keys in the ignition; with a twist, the engine started up with a loud roar.

Ash visibly flinched at the disturbance but other than that, kept silent as her eyes strayed to as much of the outside world she could see from the elevated window. Quietly pondering for a quick second just how long she was going to be stuck in here; the traffic had been backed up because of the theater collapse and she doubted the crews were that hasty in clearing out the debris from the road. A sigh itching to release from her terse throat, she was rather shocked when he began driving smoothly along the block before quickly peeling down an adjacent alley and away from the congested intersection up ahead.

Rather curious on his foresight to park in this spot or even see the nearly invisible alleyway, it trailed away as he pumped the gas even further. She was pushed further back into the seat by the velocity; hands digging into his jacket to keep herself somewhat grounded. She spared the gorilla a quick glance but he paid her no heed; brown eyes laser-focused on the road as well as flicking to the rear-view and side mirrors. Did he think there was someone following them?

Whatever it was, it was rather surprising to learn that the normally serene Johnny could be such a manic driver…

Not gonna lie, it really freaked her the fuck out when he abruptly sped up; turning and almost drifting, tires squealing erratically as he pulled in front of oncoming traffic to suddenly hug the right lane. The honk from the fast-moving cars had her quills tensing and rising of their own accord - body jostling with the velocity of the truck.

Ash's sudden audible gasp was enough for Johnny to immediately slam on the brakes at the upcoming red light; the honk from passing cars still blaring at him until fading from the blood that was coursing through her ears. Her ears as well as one eye was twitching; quills probably piercing his jacket but if anything, he deserved it.

"Sorry." he whispered; sending her a nervous smile which she returned with a rather salty glare and an eye roll.

Ash was tempted to reply with some sarcastic remark such as "We already almost died once today - what's tempting fate once more gonna hurt?"

Instead, she valiantly held her tongue and hoped to God he dare not try the same stunt again - not unless he wanted a side full of quills anyway. Not bothering to even verbally question where the hell he'd learned to drive like a maniac; she just swallowed it back and hoped he didn't end up killing them both before they even got close to her apartment.

Once the light flashed green, Ash was pleasantly surprised at the slower speed he began traveling instead of gunning it like she expected him to. It was enough that it almost relaxed her as he continued ahead; the pleasant bumps along the road and the soothing ride calming her tense nerves. It'd been a long while since she took anything but public transportation; the stench of unwashed homeless people hogging the seats and the dirty floor littered with food wrappers and other disgusting paraphernalia were never at all pleasant but it's all her and Lance could afford.

Ash had to admit that being in a car…was nice.

Not having to halt at each and every stop, causing what would have been only a mile down the road turn into a thirty to forty minute bus or train ride that it probably would have been faster to walk in the long run. So, pushing aside her own trepidation at her situation, she just enjoyed the ride.

It occurred slow at first, like light pinpricks pushing through a dark cloud; her own panic of her two near-death scares that froze her heart began melting away with the smooth journey. Still very much dealing with the fact the theater collapsed and her career went with it still bothered her immensely, but for now, she decided to focus on the road in front of her. The trees, the birds and varying colors of buildings like a blurred painting partially filling her vision.

Pain and the sting of Lance's betrayal and the death of her career kept her feeling much of anything but the few emotions that flitted through the cracks were what kept her questioning everything.

_Namely Johnny._

Ash's eyes left the window for a second to take him in. Posture much more relaxed as he kept his eyes steadfast on the road; one hand holding the wheel while the other lay lax on his lap. To think she met this guy a little more than a week ago and had never conversed farther than the two times during the short competition. For being a virtual stranger, the gorilla was almost _too_ kind to her; too pure for her own problems and the cruel, harsh world they lived in.

Yet, if he noticed or it bothered him in the least, he didn't say anything - it seemed to just be a part of his nature and that both frustrated and arose curiosity in her. The calmness he emitted during this whole incident was astounding; Ash just couldn't wrap her head around it at all.

Just who _was_ this guy?

"Uh, I probably should have asked this before we left, but uh - where do you live?" Johnny's voice suddenly cut through the quiet air and Ash whipped her head away when she realized she had been staring unabashedly at him.

Cheeks aflame, Ash muttered out her address into the lapels of his jacket and Johnny just nodded and made a left a few blocks ahead toward the direction of her apartment.

Mind flitting fast, she rationalized her own questions and her own actions regarding the gorilla to her left. Reasoning her own curiosity and the need to sate it. Lance left her rather timid and resistant to trust so soon - so why did she seem to fall for it so fast again?

Pushing those notions aside, she focused once more on the drive; the sound of the pavement as the tires rolled over it. The sound of him adjusting the gear shift as he accelerated or decelerated. The obvious squeak as he pressed the clutch during a stop at a red light. It was all quite relaxing even if her heart was still trying to figure out a normal rhythm. Pretty soon, it was completely silent once again. Before, Ash had not even noticed the radio had been on this whole time; the mild voice and gentle vibrato (from what had to be an oldies station) could barely be heard above the rumble of the engine and the constant flood of thoughts clogging her mind.

Ash continued to remain silent as Johnny's hand reached out to turn on the heat and it was only now she realized she had been shivering.

Not bothering to thank him, Ash's gaze gravitated toward the outside world once again. The other cars passing by with a whoosh along the busy streets; buildings and people passing with blurry shapes and colors as her eyes suddenly misted over with tears. Body reacting to her own emotional pain she'd pushed aside was rising up in her and she was forced to pinch her thigh hard; refusing to cry anymore until she was in the comfort and seclusion of her apartment.

For once today, her body obeyed her.

Within five minutes, Ash began to notice more familiarity in the neighborhood and knew they were within a block of her residence. In just a minute, they'd be at her place. Figuring out she should prepare to leave his car, her hand suddenly vacated from the warmth of his jacket; subconsciously reaching to the seat next to her. Fully expecting to rest upon a familiar case holding her guitar…

… _her hand hit the cool leather seat instead._

As if a horrific wartime flashback physically hit her, Ash suddenly tensed; breath fast and labored as she whipped her head and stared wide-eyed in complete panic at the empty seat.

Her guitar.

Her treasured red Fender.

The treasured red Fender that she learned her first song on.

The one positive thing to come out of her and Lance's relationship.

It had been there with her for five years; she learned every single note, chord, and song on it. Poured countless hours, blood, sweat, and tears into that beautiful guitar…

… _and now, it wasn't here…_

"Are you alright?" Johnny's voice spoke but she didn't hear it past the roaring of blood and pulse pounding frantically in her ears; heart palpitating painfully in her chest.

Ash suddenly thought back to that day; her hand upon it like earlier before their performances. Resting her hand on the case as she awaiting her turn to sing. The bears. The chest. The splintering glass. Water rushing out. The collapse…

… _the theater collapsed with it still inside…_

Her stomach suddenly turned as the harsh reality hit her at once.

Without warning, Ash let out a blood-curdling scream.

* * *

A screech of breaks had the seat-belt digging into her chest and the sudden whiplash caused her to catch herself on his dashboard; blue eyes wide and frantic as she panicked.

"W-What!? What's wrong? What happened? A-Are you alright?" Johnny asked in a panicky voice; large hands clenching the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. His concerned brown eyes glancing down at the hyperventilating girl to his right - it looked as if she'd seen a ghost.

"...Ash?" he asked again when she still hadn't answered.

" _My guitar…_." she gasped, "My **guitar** was in there!" hands pulling desperately at her quills and shoulders trembling like a leaf as she stared off at some fixed point.

Johnny stayed silent for a long time until the line of cars behind him started blaring their horns and he had no choice but to pull over; it was merely coincidence that it was right in front of her apartment.

"Y-Your guitar was at the theat-" he began.

" **YES!** " Ash bellowed; eyes frantic and body tense as she suddenly snapped her head to stare at him. "Turn around **NOW**! I need to go back to get it!" Ash was now in complete anxiety mode as her fingernails dug into the seat underneath her.

Johnny was at complete loss as he stared at her than back in his rear-view mirror at the steady stream of traffic that wasn't going to clear anytime soon. He was desperate to stay reasonable but with how she was panicking, Johnny didn't think she'd be satisfied with any answer he gave.

"B-But there's cops _everywhere_! There's no way they're going to let you rummage through the debris." Johnny spoke way too calmly; the voice of reason, but Ash was not wanting to hear it right now.

_He just didn't understand!_ _**No one did!** _

"Maybe if you go tomorrow, I'm sure they'll be willing to help you fi-" Johnny started before Ash cut him off.

" **NO!** I need to go **now** and if you won't take me, I'll just go by myself!" Ash muttered, fighting a bit with the seat belt before it finally released.

Pushing the heavy leather jacket off her shoulders before she opened the door and bounded out of the car against her better judgment. Remembering just in time to catch herself with her unhurt foot before it hit the cracked pavement. It still wasn't enough distribution of weight; within seconds, she'd fallen to her hands and knees. Ignoring the pain infiltrating her palms, she pulled herself up and began hobbling back toward the direction of Moon Theater.

Barely registering when Johnny exited the vehicle to sprint to her side.

" **Ash**! Oh, bollocks - you can't walk there! It's much too far with your ankle!" Johnny pleaded but it fell on deaf ears as she pushed forward. "C'mon, please! You're hurt." he continued, bravely reaching forward to grasp gingerly at her arm but it wasn't enough to stop her as she yanked it away from his gentle hold as if she'd been burned.

"Don't touch me! Let me **GO**!" she screamed and the look on his face was as if he'd been physically slapped.

Yet the look fell away and Johnny persisted.

" _Please_ be reasonable. Even if you walk all the way there, they have it all blocked off. The police are investigating and _believe_ me, they usually take quite a long time to -" he started before cutting himself off, "A-Anyway, I doubt they'll let you go rummaging through it all now. If you just wait, I'm sure the crews will help you locate it."

Ash stopped walking; the shooting pain overcoming her anxiety for only a moment.

Johnny breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her stop.

"Good. I-I'm sure if you go tomorrow they'll happily assist you. I'll even drive you if you want. Don't worry about it - I'm sure it'll all be okay." he continued, a smile on his face even if she wouldn't see it considering her back was turned to him.

Ash was silent for a long time before she rotated back to him and her expression and words were nothing Johnny was expecting.

"Everything is **NOT** going to be _fucking_ okay…" Ash screamed and Johnny flinched at her powerful voice and harsh curse that stained her lips.

"It's not…it's just _**NOT**_ …" she sobbed, absolutely hating how fast the warm tears were slipping down her cheeks and onto the pavement below. Fists tight and almost painful as she stared up at him with so much obvious disdain. Hating how she was acting but so caught up in her own pain and misery that she hardly recognized it or herself.

"..." Johnny was speechless as she continued.

"Nothing is **ever** going to be okay - _never again_!" Ash became completely unhinged and angry at everything. Lance for being a conniving cheating asshole, her for falling for it for over five years, Buster for lying about the prize, those damn bears for nearly killing them all and making her lose her irreplaceable guitar in the process - just everything that could have went wrong - **did**. And now, here was Johnny having the gall to tell her it would all be alright.

… _what damn fairy-tale world was he living in!?_

"Don't you _get_ it?" she whimpered with a mirthless chuckle lacing her throat. "I lost **everything -** my asshole boyfriend, my career, my guitar… **everything**." She would later wondering why the hell she unleashed all her pain and torment on him; basically screamed out her whole life story of 'woe is me' to a virtual stranger.

"I have _nothing_ now… **NOTHING**!" she screamed; suddenly feeling as if she was in the midst of an anxiety attack and the walls of reality were quickly closing in on her.

Ash needed to leave, needed desperately to be alone. She made a break for it - ankle screaming at her as she suddenly ran toward her apartment door. Fumbling up the stairs and pulling her keys out from her pocket. Ignoring how Johnny began hesitantly approaching, she yanked open the door when he finally spoke.

"Ash, please wait!" Johnny shouted at her back but she slammed the door in his face.

Back pressed against it for a moment as she awaited his voice, but it never came…

Within seconds, she collapsed in front of her door like she had the night she threw Lance out; the night her boyfriend of five years left her for some shameless slut from high school.

The night her world turned upon its head before completely shattering around her.

There was nothing left - no boyfriend, no aspiring career, and the one instrument she had was gone now; crushed within the remains of the Moon Theater.

_Ash had absolutely nothing now…_

Sobs began overtaking her body as she curled herself in front of the door. Spines poking into the thick wooden frame but she didn't care as she pushed her sodden face into her hands and wailed.

It wasn't until a few minutes later when Johnny's car engine started and he was gone.

* * *

 


	6. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny displays the amazing depths of his unconditional kindness and Ash isn't sure quite how it handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support! You comments and the like always make me smile. :-)

* * *

Pulling herself from her stupor for the thirteenth time that day, Ash groaned into the couch cushions she must have crashed in. Cringing at the drool staining her lips that she uncaringly wiped into the pillow under her head with a disgusted moan.

Between sleeping or wrecking more of Lance's possessions to simply release the building tension in her chest, she had quite a busy few days since the Moon Theater crashed to the ground with her precious red Fender (and her career hopes) inside.

Ash spent most of them wallowing around in her own grief from the crappy hand that life had dealt her. Mourning her guitar and career by pathetically sobbing into two containers of half-melted pints of fudge ripple ice cream, bags of greasy potato chips, and a few stale cookies scattered around the premises.

When she wasn't sleeping or stuffing her face with copious amounts of sugar and salt, she was busy carving large X's into Lance's possessions, shredding and ripping down the rest of his posters she'd always secretly despised. Finding the few scraps and remains of the pictures she'd ripped in half or quarters; going back to tear them into indiscernible confetti before throwing and flushing them down the toilet.

… _Yet nothing still seemed to ease the growing hollowness in her gut…_

Within the span of three days, Ash essentially turned into one of those dumped, depressed girls from any of the many horrid chick flicks she loathed almost as much as Lance and if anything, that just made her more downcast. Perhaps if she was honest, she'd begun to take a better look at herself; partial blame landing on her shoulders for her own discretion.

There were **so** many signs she should have paid more attention to…

Multiple times Lance had come back in the middle of the night after a "solo gig" smelling of strange perfume and the lame excuses that never made a lick of sense. Mixed along with the instances where he belittled her talents, painful words hidden behind a veil of his laid-back quips; undermining her capabilities as an artist by pushing her down to elevate his own "artistic genius". For years she'd taken it without a defense; allowing his less than kind words to go over her head or brush them off her shoulders with a shrug.

Ash had always been far too willing to give Lance the benefit of the doubt; trusting his judgment when it came to their band and the direction their careers and lives were heading.

Of course the doubts were always there in the back of her mind but time after time, she ignored them. Hoping that it was just a phase; that they would eventually make it big with Lance's guidance and at the time, her idea of his "superior" talents. Hoping in the end that they would finally get their big break and those small voices in her head telling her otherwise would ultimately be proven wrong…

Ash shook her head; recalling every single instance of his cruelty veiled by a lazy smile or passionate kiss. The misdirection and how he played her like a fiddle. Toying with her frail emotions and using her to get to his ultimate destination; how easily he found her to be replaceable as soon as she showed the first signs of any independence. For those years he wanted her to just be wrapped around his little finger and bend to his every whim like a limp palm tree enthralled in hurricane winds.

Lance had never had her best intentions at heart; never cared or loved her at all like he said he did for the second she decided to do something for herself (and their career/lives indirectly), he traded her in like you would a faulty appliance. To dump it to the side; discard it as if it meant absolutely nothing…

Suddenly, her heart sank when she came to terms with who really was the biggest fool in all of this - _her_.

Ash had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

Perhaps it was karma paying her back for her foolishness; destroying any chance for her career for being so damn asinine and naive in her relationship with Lance - if you could even call it that. It was more of a slave/master or king/court jester relationship - she was always the one providing while he sponged off of her stupidity; paying her back with his mere presence and holding it over her head that he was the only reason she'd made it so far as a musician and singer at all.

Like she **owed** him something…

Those days, weeks, and months she'd practice the guitar under his "guidance". The groans of disgust barely covered by his lazy sighs when she messed up over and over again; the words he sometimes spoke were like barbed arrows. They wouldn't sound that hurtful at first glance or first puncture but then rip her up from the inside out when the cruel undertones of his sugary-sweet voice melted away and were pulled out. Yet before she could fully understand the unbelievable cruelness he actually spoke with, he'd chuckle softly, caress her cheek or kiss her before she could legitimately question its connotations…

Stomach churning at the memories Ash didn't care to ponder anymore. The past was the past…and it deserved to stay there. She lay her head back onto the pillow; sorely tempted to fall back into a hopefully dreamless sleep when her doorbell rang once more.

So, _that's_ what woke her up…

Ash groaned, reluctant about going to get the door when the horrible thought of Lance on the other side came to mind. She'd received multiple texts and missed calls from her ex but she dared not read them or listen to the long-winded messages he left.

Instead, she blocked him in hopes he'd leave her alone.

A part of her questioned why he was calling at all. It sure as hell wasn't to apologize or get her back considering what happened with the Moon Theater. She doubted if it was to see if she was uninjured because when did he _ever_ care about her well-being? If she was a betting girl, she'd probably put it towards questioning if she in the hospital after seeing the destruction on the news so he was free to go pick up the remainder of his stuff from their apartment. She was just glad she'd had the foresight to change the locks immediately after throwing his adulterous ass out.

"There isn't anything viable of his left anyway…" she thought with a dark chuckle tickling at her mouth - s _erved the bastard right._

Ash flinched; brought out of her thoughts when the doorbell rang yet again.

"Dammit…" Ash moaned into the pillow; body aching from sleeping on the couch (her bed was still too strange to sleep in alone) and stomach turning from the lack of real nutrition this past week.

One thing was certain - she _really_ didn't want to get up.

It all grew silent for awhile and she was relieved that perhaps they left, but instead of taking a hint, the person outside resorted to lightly knocking.

The migraine developing from the sound was when Ash finally relented.

" **Coming**!" Ash grumbled loudly when there was yet another gentle knock at the door - it stopped instantly when her voice broke out.

When no one spoke out, she knew for sure it wasn't Lance. The guy was notorious for screaming at her to hurry up through the door - he had no where near enough patience to wait as long as this person had…

It raised far more questions than answers.

Just who could it **be** and what was so important to bother her in the midst of her emotional life crisis? Knowing how her luck was currently going, it was probably her landlord to kick her ass out for all of her incessant sobbing at all hours of the day and night or wrecking her entire apartment (none too quietly mind you) this past week.

 _It just_ _**had** _ _to be…_

Swallowing back her pride, Ash pushed herself to her unsteady feet.

Mentally preparing herself until she was good and ready to face the Rhino; hoped he was prepared for the tongue-lashing of a lifetime for she was not in **any** kind of mood to deal with this shit…

Ash swiftly unlocked the door. Mouth open and ready to speak out when she swung the door open but to her surprise and dismay while she stood there with mismanaged quills and dirty, stained and slept-in clothes - the one who was standing there was definitely **not** Matthew, her two-ton Rhino landlord…

… _ **it was Johnny.**_

If the gorilla noticed her horrifyingly embarrassing state of appearance, he said nothing. Standing there looking down at her with that normal gracious smile that she did _not_ deserve after how she went off on him like a blood-thirsty jackal a few days ago.

The memory vivid of her guttural screams and the look that crossed his face in response to it all…Before she could think about it too much, she pushed those distracting thoughts away.

A demented part of her wanted to scream at him again for perhaps the only reason knowing that he wouldn't argue back; just someone to absorb her anger but she knew it wasn't right for he did _nothing_ wrong. Quite the opposite really - he'd done more for her in this past week than most people had _ever_ bothered to do for her…

It was only in this moment she began to deeply regret going off on him that day but she sure as hell was still _not_ going to apologize for it now. As of now, all she was concerned with was wondering what he was doing here completely unannounced while she made it very clear she definitely did not want to be disturbed.

 _Especially looking the way she did now…_ she thought with a cringe.

"'ello." Johnny greeted after a moment when she said nothing to acknowledge his presence.

"...What do _you_ want?" she asked in a tired grunt. Not intending whatsoever to be at all pleasant about this unexpected visit. Sleep still clinging to her heavily-bagged eyes, she wiped her hand over her face when suddenly, it fell when Johnny's arms appeared from behind his back.

The tiredness that clung to her system was instantly gone as she took in exactly what was in his hands. Ash stood there and time completely froze upon glancing at the item - a scratched, dented black case; the one covered in now unrecognizable stickers and smudged silver sharpie…

The very one that held her treasured red Fender guitar.

The one that she was **certain** had been crushed and lost forever within the rubble of the Moon Theater.

… _how had he…?_

Ash's icy blue eyes looked beyond the case to the large hands holding it; white and beige bandages covering parts of his fingers and a few scratches were visible on the base of his hairy knuckles. Fingernails were cleanly cut short but she could obviously see where they were either chipped, scratched, or had slight dirt embedded underneath. Past that, she looked at his clothes; slightly dusty and the knees of his jeans looked a bit more worn than they should be.

… _he must have…_

It only dawned on her now exactly what he had done and it broke whatever small amount of sanity she had left…

"I didn't check inside; I'm pretty sure the case took the brunt of any kind of damage, but you might want to -" Johnny's words immediately halted in his throat when Ash made a grab for the case; placing it gingerly onto the floor of her apartment before she collapsed to her knees in front of it.

Staring at sheer reverence for the first few moments before Ash flicked aside the locks with her thumbs; the guitar case opened with a creak. She was completely silent once the case was ajar; staring inside at its contents for what felt like a lifetime.

Ash's icy blue eyes glued onto the guitar she feared she'd never see again. She traced every single curve she'd memorized with her eyes before her trembling hand reached out to caress at the neck, strings, along the smooth wood of the main body, the star sticker, even twisting the volume knob just to hear it squeaking lightly underneath her fingertips. A relief she was unaware she could feel washed over her entire body as she stared down at her red Fender. The interior surrounding the guitar was unimportant; the papers seemingly untouched and notes all the way she remembered…

… _it was completely undamaged…_

Shoulders slumping in vast amounts of relief; the sting of tears building in the backs of her eyes but she forced them back. It appeared as if the emotional roller-coaster had not yet finished but she was determined _not_ to cry in front of Johnny again; (even if these tears would be joy) twice was enough already, thank you.

Ash heard Johnny shift a bit, somehow terrified he'd flee. Before she realized what had occurred, she was on her feet. Standing, she faced the gorilla who stood rather awkwardly at the doorway; his large hands still a bit proffered as if still holding the case. Her body moving of its own accord, she grabbed onto one of his hands in some desperate attempt to keep him here.

For whatever reason, she really wasn't sure.

Perhaps enough time for her heavy tongue to begin working again so she could at the very least utter some form of thanks. Johnny's fingers slightly twitched under her own when she ended up grabbing his index and middle finger in her tiny fist.

"Thank you." Ash managed to mutter out; the gratefulness echoing through her quiet voice and it seemingly calmed any confusion on his part.

Johnny looked a bit shocked at her voice at first; not speaking as his face fell for a moment to look at their conjoined hands for a split second before his brown eyes met her icy blue yet again. This time, a laid-back smile was quietly bestowed upon her. So taken aback by his toothy smile, she didn't even realize when he grasped her hand back by curling his unbound fingers around her paw.

Yet after a few awkward seconds passed, it dawned on her.

Ash stared down to their joined hands and as if just realizing any implications, she swiftly retreated as if burned. Nervously brushing at her wrinkled skirt praying that the clamminess on her palms was definitely not the embarrassment, or some other emotion she was not prepared to confront, coursing through her body. Hating how her stomach churned and this time, it wasn't the copious amounts of sugar and salt contributing to it.

Johnny, seemingly unfazed by her action, spoke, "You're welcome - just glad I got there in time. They actually started to bring in cranes and bulldozers to remove the rest of the debris this morning. I would have got it sooner but it was cordoned off for longer than expected. Anyway, once I told them the situation, the crew did most of the work, I just had to figure out the location - which wasn't easy. It ended up at the other end of the building." tapering off when he realized he'd been slightly rambling.

Ash watched him for awhile.

Light brown eyes straying from hers; one hand scratching nervously at the back of his head and foot tapping nervously. …was he worried she was going to yell at him again or something? The barest hints of regret brewing in her nervous gut were ignored in lieu of remaining quiet to see what perhaps he'd say next.

A part of her wanted to ask more questions - so, so many - as to why he had done this for her; someone who yelled at him a few days ago for no damn reason whatsoever except the simple fact that he was there. Dared to help her, to care for her injury and drive her home so she didn't have to wait for the train or bus. He was someone who had been nothing but kind, accommodating, and encouraging while she'd been a little less salty than a rabid rottweiler.

Yet, the questions pretty much answered themselves for Johnny had already showcased his nature; his kindness that exceeded any sort of realistic capacity that she had ever dealt with in her life. To think this guy, who had been a stranger a week ago, went out of his way to protect her from deadly debris by using his own body as a shield, wrap up her ankle, give her a ride home - and even after she yelled at him for no damn reason whatsoever - he got her guitar back.

It didn't make a lick of sense and even made her a tad suspicious of any intentions however pure they may seem. She swiftly pushed those notions aside for Johnny did not _have_ to do this; frankly shouldn't have considering the circumstances and absolutely nothing to gain…

_Ash wasn't even aware that people like him even existed…_

"How's your ankle?" he asked and it was her turn to be surprised by the suddenness of the voice.

Now that he said it, Ash had almost completely forgotten about it except the day after it happened. Once she'd taken off the piece of his jeans and popping a few Tylenol, she had felt much better and it hadn't caused her any problem since. It probably helped she did little more than lay and mope around which helped in the healing process.

"It's fine." she shrugged; the tension so thick you could carve through it with a dull butter knife. Johnny had soon opted to just hook his thumbs into his jean pockets and nod at her answer.

"That's good." he said after awhile.

There was a slight awkwardness after those words finished escaping out of his mouth. An obvious unspoken tension that still remained between them and Ash knew it was her fault. Hating having yet something else hanging over her head when he'd been unbelievably nice, Ash broke it the only way she knew how.

"Listen, "Ash shrugged with eyes straying to her feet, "I'm sorry for the other day." she blabbed out faster and quieter than she probably intended.

"No. It's quite alright." Johnny replied with a shake of his head.

For some reason, being let off the hook for being such a cruel, rather conniving bitch was not what she needed right no. This guy had gotten a part of her heart and soul back, it was only fair that she clear the air.

"No. It was messed up of me. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. I - I was upset and you didn't deserve it - "

"Ash, I -"Johnny tried to interrupt but she put her hand up to halt any words he may or may not say.

Johnny grew silent.

"No. I was a real bitch. I wasn't mad at you, I was…frustrated - at everything I suppose. That didn't make it right to take it out on you, so, for that…I'm really sorry." the words felt so strange as they echoed past her teeth and lips.

"It's alright, I underst-" Johnny started before she silenced him with a harsh glare.

"Listen, you better just take the apology cause I don't do it very often." she clarified firmly; arms tempted to cross across her chest but she supposed her tone was threatening enough.

"...Okay. I accept your apology." Johnny chuckled, voice raspy and thick in his throat. She ignored how her hairs prickled pleasantly when she heard it.

Ash just nodded; it was only now she realized he was still standing outside.

"Did you…uh, want to come in? I could make you coffee or something." she suddenly asked; own words surprising her and by how his eyes widened - they surprised Johnny as well. Warranted she supposed for she'd been less than accommodating the few times they already interacted.

There was confusion in his stare and her own anxiety suddenly building for she knew just how trashed her apartment was. A quick glance behind her said he probably already noticed - wrappers, strips of Lance's posters, shredded clothes, confetti bits of pictures, and etc. that littered the floor. The haphazard mess of pillows and blankets that made up the couch were probably already seen by him since he was so damn tall.

"I'd love to but I may have to take a rain-check." Johnny spoke gently as he maneuvered his sleeve to reveal his watch, "I have an appointment in 10 minutes actually." the way he said it had her questioning its validity but she wouldn't lie, it was kind of a relief he wouldn't see the true horrors of her wrecked apartment.

"Oh...okay." she replied with a terse nod.

_Dammit, why did she suddenly sound disappointed?_

To cover it up, she spoke again, "Thanks again. You know, for getting my guitar back."

"You're welcome." Johnny nodded before he turned away and began the short journey back toward his vehicle.

For some odd reason, she watched him as he left.

An sense of something remaining being left unspoken plagued the air but she dutifully ignored it. Without the Moon Theater, the competition, or any obligations really, a part of her wondered if she'd ever see him again. She tried to disregard how her stomach sank slightly at the very thought…

"I - I'll, uh, see you around, Ash." Johnny spoke up again to seemingly answer her question; his smile easy as he waved to her from where his truck was parked by the curb. He didn't even wait to see the shock that suddenly rose on her face before he climbed into his vehicle and swiftly drove away with a squeal of tires.

It took another few seconds after watching his truck disappearing into the distance before she went back into her apartment. As Ash closed the door and leaned against its grains, she stared down at where her guitar lay in its case. Something she thought she had lost was now back in her life; a genuine smile suddenly tickled her lips; chest feeling a lot lighter than it had in a _long_ time…

* * *

 


	7. Cleanse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash slowly begins to move on after her break-up, from the competition, and from everything it entails…it goes a bit different than she ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your support! All your comments, favorites, follows, kudos and the like are much appreciated! Hope you enjoy. :-)

* * *

It'd been a rather uneventful few weeks following the collapse of the Moon Theater.

Ash had for all intents and purposes picked up the remainder of her life and pieced it back together as much as she knew how to. Placing the mismatched pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of her heart back into place; forcing some fragments to fit while having to super glue the others. The jagged shards not exactly fitting how she would have liked but it was all she could do for now.

Some days she admitted were easier than others even if it was quite brutal to still drag herself out of bed - or more or less the couch she'd been parked on since her first night alone that already felt like a lifetime ago. Other days she'd find herself smiling at a television program or whatnot but there were also the moments where the harsh reality of the turn her life took hit her like a runaway train and she cried til her eyes ached.

For now, she was taking it one day at a time.

Having her guitar back helped immensely - the music she wrote and her song still held true even after all of this. It made her feel stronger; more self-assured that indeed she'd get through this turmoil eventually. She'd continued to do what she loved; proceed to write songs even if she never got to perform them in front of anyone but the fact she had wrote it at all was good enough for her - at least for now.

After the first few days since Johnny recovered her guitar, she looked at her messy apartment with fresh eyes. Coming to the swift realization that she'd indeed groveled enough - sitting around like a sad sack wasn't helping anyone - _least of all herself._ The mess she made of the space was also really starting to bother her mild OCD that she'd pushed aside in favor of fully giving into her pain and misery. That plus her bills were not going to go away; her apartment was not going to pay the rent by itself and being sad and depressed was not going to fill her refrigerator. Picking the pieces of her shattered life up were not going to be easy in the least, so Ash decided to start small.

First: cleaning up the disaster zone she'd made of her apartment this past week.

Ash had tossed the remainder of Lance's still intact and tattered items; piling them unceremoniously into a few black trash bags until there was no further evidence of him littering her floor or her apartment. Typing up the plastic bag, she began heading to the trash can on her apartment property, her lips pursed until a better idea came to mind the second she was in front of it. Instead of just throwing them out, she'd taken them farther to her apartment's garbage compressor and smiled as she pressed the big red button and the bags crunched and flattened to a pancake under the pressure of its sharp metal teeth.

It was quite therapeutic and relieving to be rid of most of the reminders of Lance even if his scent remained in their sheets that she wasn't too keen on throwing away (they were rather expensive after all). Perhaps if his more personal items weren't here physically, it would make it much easier in the long run to simply move on past all of it. To push through her grief and anger at the whole situation life handed her however painful it was going to be…

Was it going to be easy? **Hell no.**

But was it doable? _**…Yes.**_

Once all of his items were gone, Ash pulled up her sleeves and started cleaning.

Vacuuming her living room and bedroom, washing her sheets, comforter, and even the bed-skirt to try and get rid of any trace of its other previous inhabitant, scrubbing her kitchen floor, throwing out old leftovers and all of Lance's fatty, overtly salty snacks she always hated cluttering her pantry. Cleaning out her fridge while keeping a growing list of the things she needed for the upcoming weeks and realizing once emptying it out, her fridge was left almost completely bare. Ash had no choice than to go to the store. Pushing aside her own desire to be a hermit forever, she took a shower and put on a fresh clothes before she grabbed her wallet; actually leaving the apartment for the first time in days.

Stepping outside alone was strange at first.

Only a small wagon she took whenever she'd go grocery shopping trailing with soft rolling of wheels behind her as she headed to the busy train station. Lost in her head the whole time; weaving in and out of crowds, faces passing, and shadows of individuals she didn't know surrounding, most towering over, her.

Ash couldn't further ignore the impending sensation of loneliness she experienced as she entered the train and grabbed onto the closest pole near her.

Perhaps she'd grown used to Lance's presence however annoying it may have been at times…but he was always there. Ash had grown accustomed to being in a relationship and always having someone constantly at her side even if he hardly paid much total attention to her. He was there to hold her hand whenever they exited buildings or went places all across town. A constant presence she went home to every night and woke up to every morning - and now she was completely alone. A much too big apartment that was now almost bare; more than half of the items that once cluttered it were now gone and it felt hopelessly barren almost…just like her heart…

The train came to a quick stop and Ash maneuvered through much larger animals, being sure to keep her quills lowered as flat as possible to not inadvertently hurt someone. Emerging from the train and finally back onto the sidewalk, Ash glanced up to figure out her direction before she headed toward the store location one more block down. Once she passed the threshold into the grocer, she lagged a bit as she went through the bright white aisles.

The many animals surrounding were having jovial conversations, the laughter of children and everyone just all around living their blissful, happy lives only brought home just how alone she felt now. A few aisles down and a few necessity items already piled in her small wagon, Ash stopped. Hand almost subconsciously reaching for Lance's favorite bag of potato chips; only pulling it back when she realized she didn't need to buy them anymore.

Ash backed away from the chip aisle with a sigh; a sense of renewal and strength coming over her as she grabbed the snacks **she** wanted for a change; a bag of lightly salted twisted pretzels, cheddar popcorn, and vanilla wafers. Never getting them because she knew funds were tight and it was all in an attempt to only buy _his_ favorites; too keep _him_ happy. Make sure he had his favorite foods stocking their cabinets, had enough money to fund his guitar equipment and collection of vinyl records, posters, and sheet music he bought over the years.

How all this time he never once said thank you as she tirelessly worked to provide it all for him. Worked her ass of to make sure there was food and their rent was paid at a reasonable time. For all these years, he never loved her…never cared for her at all… The selfishness he exhibited this whole time going over her head as she contented herself with his kiss or any slight hint of what could be treated as affection. They were never a couple for couples are supposed give and take and she was the only one doing the giving and Lance happily did all the taking…

Fighting back sudden tears, Ash quickly finished her grocery shopping. Paying, bagging, and finally running back to the train stop was where she lost it. Biting her lip and ignoring the strange, pitied looks she was getting standing there with the sternest face possible; waiting for the late bus with tears dripping in silent streams down her face. The shame filling her gut with all of the eyes trained on her but yet no one said a word or did anything even as she struggled to pull her wagon onto the train. A rare empty seat she took and sat; hands shaking as she wiped away the tears that didn't cease for a long time…

As her apartment came into view, Ash reminded herself that he needed to buy a pair of sunglasses…

* * *

It was exactly now a month since the theater fell to the ground when Ash decided she needed to find a job…and the sooner the better.

Money wasn't _exactly_ scarce with her frugal ways and need to save money for a rainy day but staying home alone didn't suit her needs whatsoever for the probability of becoming a shut-in was not exactly an attractive or healthy perspective if she wanted to truly move on with her life. There were no items left of Lance's to destroy but the walls seemed hopelessly blank and herself hallow no matter how many new posters or dusty pictures of her family she'd hung up onto the tall white walls. There was a profound emptiness that made her apartment feel much too big and the air much too vast for her to stay for any considerable amount of time anymore.

Ash had to accept that she had to move on - put it all behind her and the first step was getting out of the house, get a job, and back on with her life.

Forgetting about Lance, the Moon Theater, and mostly all the promises and opportunities winning would have held for her. Perhaps even eventually all those people she met only a handful of times yet they made a lasting impact - she wasn't sure she wanted to forget that just yet. Rosita's motherly gentle touch Ash needed so soon after her break-up/breakdown, Gunter's quirky humor, Meena's shy demeanor and awkward smile, even Buster Moon who still believed in her when she hardly believed in herself.

…and Johnny…

A boy who embodied everything she never knew existed; a gentleness she wasn't sure she'd ever known before or would ever encounter again…the kindest warm brown eyes she'd ever seen suddenly filling her mind's eye. How in just the few meetings they had just how much of an impact he'd already had and frankly, _she hated it_ …

Ash shook her head, pushing those thoughts aside for she knew seeing any of them again was next to none. She'd never met any of them before the auditions and practices afterward, why would now be any different? They may live in the same city but with its vast population, the odds of running into any of them were slim to none.

Letting go of any connotations and pain she might have been feeling at the very thought, Ash grabbed her guitar and left her apartment and out into the mid-day crowded streets.

Who knows how she found herself here on today of all days; whether it be fate or some higher power messing with her, in retrospect, Ash wasn't certain... Only obligation now was dragging her guitar with her as she went to various bars and cafes around town hoping some manager or owner would take pity on an essentially starving artist looking for some honest work.

Ash had luck before doing this sort of thing before - forced to sing crappy songs she wouldn't be caught dead singing elsewhere, but hell, it paid the bills (or rather one electric bill and maybe fast food afterward, but it was money). She'd rather much play and sing lame songs for bored, elderly diners or drunk bar patrons than work in retail or fast food like she had for the years her and Lance lived together. Now, that she was living alone, her bills seemed to be much less but the money she saved wouldn't last forever. Ever since the Moon Theater collapsed into nothing but a dusty pile, her career opportunities seemed slim so she did what she had to to perhaps try and get her foot in the door. No competition, no huge prize at the end - just going from gig to gig hoping she'd catch someone's ear.

It would have been better if the money Buster offered was still on the table. But after having her pity party the first few weeks, she knew she needed to let it go; to pick herself up from the ashes of that horrible memory.

Clinging to the hope that there was still a whole world out there and her dreams weren't _completely_ dead in the water just yet. She could still be successful, but it was going to be a little more difficult.

_But who knew?_

Perhaps a record producer would be a regular at one of these bars or restaurants she planned to perform? Maybe they'd listen to her voice and mad guitar skills and want to sign her up? Launching her like a rocket into superstardom where she could rub it in Lance's stupid face once she scored countless record deals, television appearances, and performed at sold out stadiums all around the world…

"Yeah right…" she sighed under her breath as she turned yet another corner; the barest hints of a smirk tickling her lips as she continued on her journey.

* * *

Ash pushed the business card of the coffee shop owner into her pocket next to the others before heading to her next destination down the busy sidewalk. Within a block, her blue eyes fell upon a popular Jamaican food restaurant and bar - one she had played at multiple times before. She recalled the owners being super cool and welcoming - giving a big fat tip at the end of the night (and even a meal sometimes) if they believed you did a good enough job. They even seemed to like the hard rock/heavy metal genre which was a lot better experience than being booted out of 'The Tiki Lounge' by a massive polar bear who screamed, "You said you were musicians!"

Pushing out that sudden distasteful memory, Ash regained the slight bounce in her step as she squared her shoulders and approached the business. All of her hopes were crushed and her feet halted as soon as she got in earshot of the door; heart freezing cold in her chest upon hearing an all too familiar loud voice and guitar riff pouring out from the ajar glass.

_It was one that she knew all too well and one she wished she could forget._

Before she had realized it, her face was pressed up against the glass; guitar case hitting the cement below with a loud clunk. Ash's icy blue eyes were wide as she stared inside and saw what she'd hoped to have **never** seen again…

There was Lance and Becky together atop the stage.

Flashbacks infiltrating her mind - this was a gig her and Lance had done together multiple times. Side-by-side singing one of his own songs or a popular one from one of his favorite bands or even the owners and patrons many requests (that typically never ended well). Lance made it his mission to be the lead singer and would constantly push her aside whenever she'd feel brave enough to crowd his space in front of his louder microphone (he'd always turn hers lower on purpose). Hence the reason she projected the way she did - voice strong and powerful in an attempt to be heard - not exactly sure _what_ she was trying to prove.

As Ash stewed from outside; her feet frozen to the concrete - she reluctantly listened.

Lance sounded the same as ever even if Ash was quick to notice how his voice was more reserved for I guess he was not having to project in order to equal her output. During listening, Becky's vocalization hit her ears as well. Voice was almost muted and damn, was it weak and terrible; much too reminiscent of those washed-up pop stars who needed auto-tune to sound halfway acceptable. No power, no push, no intensity that stemmed from natural raw talent.

_Becky possessed none of it._

Just the sound of jingling car keys or annoying bells. Enough to keep a child's attention but nothing else - it had no viable substance whatsoever.

The instrument Becky played fit her too.

Ash sneered at the tambourine clenched in the female porcupine's paws - her pretty, dainty hands with an expensive manicure and nice jewelry adorning her wrists. Hands lax as she tapped the tambourine lazily on her hip in rhythm (if you could call it that) with Lance's guitar. Instrument befitting of someone with no musical talent whatsoever - was the tambourine even considered an instrument?! If you could tap your fingertips on the table to the beat of a song, you could play a fucking tambourine!

It wasn't anything special!

_Becky wasn't anything special!_

Short skirt and conceited attitude leaching off her very being; a dime-store hussy with rich parents who showered her with expensive clothes and jewelry to make up for her horrible personality! Nothing more than a bimbo - an airhead who flirted and slept with guys all throughout high school just so they would do her homework for her lazy ass…

Becky was _everything_ Ash despised all wrapped into one being.

The main thing that bothered her; the one thing that pained her and shook her to the very core was wondering just what the **HELL** did Lance see in her?!

_It was as if she never knew Lance at all._

The boy who seemed to appreciate Ash's spunk and desire to be a rocker seemed attracted to her. Who looked beyond her quiet, loner demeanor and asked her out - she believed maybe he saw something in her no one else did. She handed her heart and soul to him on a silver platter and he just crushed it in his hands; the remains leaking from between his fingers like bloody sand. Who knew the guy she loved _so much_ ; one she did and gave up **everything** for would leave her for a girl who was known as being nothing more than an ditsy cheerleader or an easy lay? A no-talent hack who beat on a tambourine, sang God-awful songs _**dared**_ to call herself an actual musician…?

Somehow Becky deserved a spot next to his suppose " _musical genius_ " when she barely deserved to have her own microphone?!

Ash stood there for what seemed like years.

Hands shaking like a leaf as she pressed them to the glass; fists itching to beat at the glass. To let Lance and Becky know she was there - to scream, kick, punch, bite her cheating ex before shattering Lance's guitar on the wooden floor like her own heart had been. Anger she never experienced filling her chest as she stared a Becky standing in the spot she'd been for five years; next to a boy she'd given her heart and soul to for **so** damn long.

Without her knowledge, Ash's fists raised and she was oh so tempted to slam it down; knock down the door and raise utter hell but something inside her didn't allow it. Refusing to allow her baser instincts to control her more logical side, Ash felt her hands fall. The fight inside her vanquished as quickly as it came.

Ash turned away. A fierce burning in the back of her eyes but she was hellbent and downright determined not to waste anymore tears on the stupid son of a bitch who broke her heart and trust. Who threw her away like she meant absolutely nothing…

_Lance wasn't worth it._

_**No one was…** _

Silently, Ash picked up her guitar, morosely dusting it off and she wanted desperately to look inside the restaurant one last time but he wasn't even worth another glance.

With nowhere else left to turn, Ash began her trek back home.

Walking away with heavy feet and an even heavier heart, she continued down the sidewalk. Her optimism and desire to find employment was suddenly drained from her; depression she'd been fighting against for weeks suddenly reared it's ugly head again. Eyes straying to her feet as she walked - the strong urge to run hit her hard. To seek shelter at the only place she could truly be alone with her thoughts anymore. A refuge and prison of sorts trapped inside the white walls of her apartment. As much as she hated it…it felt like an escape she so desperately needed now.

Ash, ignoring the burning in her eyes and her blurring vision (which was really stupid in retrospect), began to run. Only making it one and a half blocks before she suddenly reared back. Eyes closing when she slammed nose first into a firm wall of cloth and muscle and bone - _damn_ , it felt like a brick wall. The force was so great she had no choice to fall back with the kinetic energy and gravity that was against her (the whole world felt against her now).

Unceremoniously falling hard onto her ass with a muted whoosh of her skirt, guitar case landing with a clunk somewhere to her right and she immediately grabbed her nose in fear it would be bleeding. Once relieved she indeed was not spurting blood, her firmly shut eyes began burning up from the sudden pain. Ash groaned a bit, rubbing at her eyes when she was heard something she did not expect…

"I'm so sorry!" the male voice was panicked; a tone she was certain she'd heard before. It was a familiar British-accented voice; sounding painfully familiar; someone she thought she'd never hear again. She ignored it thinking she just hurt her head or thinking more logically because sometimes people just sound alike and have different accents; all those hopeful thoughts fell to the wayside when he continued.

"I couldn't see very well with these blasted bags! Are you o... _ **Ash**_?!"

The only thing she heard past the roaring in her ears at that moment was crinkled paper bags hitting the ground and the sensation of an unbelievably gentle touch of a familiar hand upon her shoulder.

* * *

 


	8. Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Johnny literally run into each other and Johnny makes a proposition Ash isn't sure she's ready to accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys continually blow me away with your constant support! You comments, faves and the like are the main reasons I upload as consistently as I do! :-D Thanks so much! Hope y'all enjoy!

* * *

A British-accented voice she was certain she'd never hear again suddenly filled her ears; it was the only thing she detected past the roaring pulse drowning out pretty much everything else around her. The roar of cars as they passed, muted conversations of passerby's that fluttered through the air, and the various heaviness of footsteps as people circled around the two of them. Both had come to a dead halt on this crowded street corner; a moment in which two worlds literally collided after a month absence that she was certain would be permanent.

Yet another twist of fate Ash entirely wasn't prepared for.

The porcupine swallowed, her ears clearing for only a moment to the sound of crinkled paper bags hitting the ground before light footsteps approached her downed form. Blue eyes reluctantly peeling open only to see the exact same kind brown eyes that she had been recalling earlier that morning; they were now right smack dab in front of her and she wasn't sure _what_ to think anymore.

Johnny was staring down at her with heavily furrowed brows showcasing more concern than she had probably ever received from pretty much anyone else in her short life. The sensation of his hand (that had to have been there almost the whole time) came next; feeling simultaneously light yet all too heavy on her shoulder as he slowly knelt on the cement next to her.

" _...Johnny?"_ she gasped out, hating how her voice cracked for a split second. Ash had no idea why she even spoke in those moments but it appeared her mind was not at all cooperating with her body today.

"'ello." he greeted kindly with a small smile, "…are you alright?" he continued but this time, she didn't answer. Her eyes straying to the paper sacks of groceries he must have been carrying were now scattered about their feet.

It dawned on her that he was so worried about her that dropped them; making sure he checked on her before he even bothered to make a move to pick them up even as a few items rolled dangerously close to the the edge of the sidewalk.

"Ash, are you okay?" he regurgitated the question. Voice louder and more concerned than she cared to hear right now. Ash met his eyes just as he removed his hand from her shoulder (almost as an afterthought) before he offered it palm-up to her.

Ash stared at his hand for a moment; strange sense of Deja-Vu she wasn't sure what to do with went right over her head as she stared down at his proffered palm. Pushing that away, Ash reluctantly accepted his hand; gently, he grasped her paw and helped her to her feet. Once she was steady on her own two feet, Johnny picked up her guitar, dusted it off and handed it back to her before even thinking about his most likely ruined produce and various other items laying haphazardly around them.

The crowd around them gratefully walked around the scattered items.

"Yeah…" she finally answered even if it wasn't probably a valid answer at this point.

Ash just stood there; wiping a quick paw across her face and nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding. Grateful it was not but it was a bit pained yet she said nothing. Her hand lowering as she stared at him mostly in shock for a long time; watching him going about and slowly picking up his dropped groceries. A few animals even stopped to help pick a few items up (in retrospect she wondered why she hadn't), placed them in the paper sacks and Johnny was sure to thank them with a toothy smile before they returned it and went about their day.

Watching the scene, her mind wandered. Just this morning, she was _certain_ she'd never see any of the theater group ever again. In this city of over a million animals, what were the fucking odds of literally running into one?

… _especially the one who had confounded and intrigued her in the exact same breath…?_

It was simply **maddening** …so much so that Ash wasn't sure what to think. As if her day wasn't already strange enough. Was this some sort of sign that some higher power was messing with her?

If so, it wasn't funny in the least…

"Thank you, sir. It's very much appreciated." Johnny thanked, accent thick. Ash saw it directed to a kind sheep in a green wool sweater that helped him pick up some more items.

"You're very w _ **eeee**_ -lcome." the sheep brayed before walking away.

That cringe-worthy sounds broke whatever respite fell over her and Ash couldn't help but speak out.

"So…Where's your truck?" she asked the most blatantly strange question; mostly just to fill the silence and blood roaring in her pulsating ears.

Not even bothering with pleasantries or the normal, _"Hey, you should have watched where your going! There_ _ **are**_ _smaller animals you know!"_ like she was sorely tempted to.

Perhaps it was seeing Lance and Becky every time she blinked that was not helping the state of her scattered mind. Without much else to do, she dusted off her skirt if only to give her free hand something to do - anything to do. She was surprised that she hadn't just taken off yet…

"Oh! It's uh, back at the gara-I-I mean, my house." he caught himself, lopping a pack of saltine crackers back in the bag; catching her eye for a second before going back to his task.

"Why aren't you driving it? Wouldn't carrying your groceries be easier with it?"

"It would but, eh - um, bills made it kinda tight money-wise for this month. It was either I buy petrol for my truck or not eat the rest of this week….My stomach spoke for me I suppose." he chuckled; gathering the rest of the bruised apples and placing them back into the brown sacks filled with ramen noodles and other like generic brand items.

The clouds over her mind just had her giving him a strange look; connotations of that statement flitting throughout her mind but any reply or questions lingering around it left the second he continued speaking.

"Besides, it's a beautiful day for a walk! I couldn't pass that up. A-Anyway, enough about me. How have _you_ been?" His attempts at redirection of the conversation didn't go unnoticed but the second Johnny glanced down to the guitar case, it was pushed to the back of her mind, "Oh! H-Have you booked a show?" he asked.

Ash, broken out of her questioning she was going to expand upon, looked down to the guitar and just shrugged, "Eh…Kinda…I'm workin' on it." she decided upon.

"That's wonderful! I'm sure you'll find one soon." the confidence in his voice annoyed her for some reason.

"Yeah…" Ash shrugged, feeling more uncomfortable and claustrophobic the longer she stood here. Her emotions jarred from seeing Lance and Becky; side by side on a stage where she used to be. It was like a slap in the face in pretty much every way except the physical sense of the word. It had been over a month since she saw her ex-boyfriend and it was **so** much easier not to have to see him (ripped pictures or belongings not counting). But having to confront the very reality of him seemingly moved on and happy with a new person in his life (a girl he cheated on her with) did something to her; the fact Becky was performing with him made it all the worst.

Five years of her life spent by his side and who the hell was she kidding to think she'd get over it in less than a month?! She wasn't heartless like that bastard Lance who seemingly was happy with the high-school slut instead of his girlfriend of five years who poured every ounce of her heart and soul into that relationship even as he just sucked her heart and soul dry.

How _**dare**_ he just get over it without any repercussions; any care as to what he'd -

"So, where are you headed to next?" Johnny asked suddenly breaking her out of her thoughts. Barely even noticing that her hand was cramping because of how tight it was wound around the guitar case handle..

Ash's eyes flicking to him where he had finished filling the bags back up and was staring down at her curiously. A part of her wanted to lie to tell him she was going to go find work or elsewhere, but damn, she just wanted to be back home right now…

"My apartment." she answered with the barest hints of a shrug.

"Oh really? Um, would you mind if we walked together? My place is in the same general direction." he asked.

" _I don't think so"_ was temptingly pulling at her tongue but the all-encompassing loneliness and oncoming-depression was clouding over her and perhaps a kind face and encouraging words, which Johnny readily supplied, was probably what she needed right now.

"Sure. Knock yourself out." she finally replied with a shrug; without bothering to wait for him, she began heading toward the direction of her apartment.

Guitar and gut feeling heavier than she could ever recall, Ash was inundated with the image of her ex and his new girlfriend every time she had to blink. A strange hollowness burrowing into her gut and soul as she slowly walked back home. Johnny being at her side was ignored at first; his steps lighter than she thought was possible for an animal of his size (even if he was still quite small for a gorilla, he was still massive to her). His steps were soft; almost muted with the drum of her pulse hammering away in her ears and shuttering breaths she valiantly controlled. She dared not cry; she'd wasted far too much time already crying over Lance and she dare not do it again.

That loser was not worth any more tears…

After two blocks of uncomfortable silence, Ash weirdly felt obligated to speak if only to break the silence; to think about anything other than her situation and the trauma she just went through.

"So…what have you been doing?" she may as well be pleasant or it was going to be a long, tense walk otherwise. And Ash did not feel up to being lost in her clouded head the whole time and speaking to her walking partner was the only way to break that.

"Nothing much." Johnny replied as soon as they made it to a crosswalk. The bags making a crinkling noise when he adjusted them in his arms so he could press the walking sensor button. The stoplight now showcasing red counting down numbers before they could walk across the street. "Just trying to figure out what to do next I s'pose." he finished a moment later.

"Me too." Ash agreed - weren't they all?

"Yeah…But today something quite interesting happened." Ash halfway expected him bringing up literally running into her but he continued before that thought gained any traction, "I was just catching up on some errands when I saw Rosita at the supermarket."

"Really? Hmm. Small world." Ash replied; half listening but focusing more on the countdown of the 'don't walk' signal.

The sooner she got home the better - small talk was definitely not her strong suit.

"Isn't it though?" he chuckled, "Yeah. She, um asked me how you were doing and since I guess _technically_ , out of our group, I was the last one to see you." Johnny answered with a shrug. "I told her you were alright…i-is that okay?"

"...she did?" Ash, totally ignoring his question, seemed surprised. The barest sense of guilt filling her gut for the only one on her mind lately was herself, her own problems, or a certain asshole ex-boyfriend and his slutty new girlfriend. "…how was she? You know - Rosita."

"Mm-hmm." Johnny gave her a toothy smile and she dutifully ignored how her stomach twisted at seeing it, "Rosita said she was doing well; seemed happy enough. She was even shopping with three of her boys! Something about them having tummy-aches and skipping school but seeing them today, something tells me they were probably not telling the truth. Such rambunctious children." he said with a kind chuckle, "I don't really know _how_ she handles 25 of those little tykes..." Johnny started walking across the street once the white ' **Walk** ' signal ignited.

Ash ran to keep up with his longer strides.

_Rosita had_ _**25** _ _kids? …wow, she really hadn't been paying attention at all, had she?_

Even as the woman was comforting her in her horrendous time of grief, Ash could think of no one but herself and her own break-up troubles. Little did she know what the woman comforting her had been going through in her own life…you wouldn't know it by her gentle smile and constant kind words.

"Anyway, she was telling me some other things too." Johnny started speaking again, taking Ash away from her thoughts of Rosita and to focus on what the gorilla walking by her side was saying, "I haven't been kept too much in the loop but from what I understand, the other performers want to find Mr. Moon. Rosita, Gunter, and Meena are determined to locate him and think we should try to coerce him to have the concert anyway."

" **...why?** " Ash muttered, her focus now completely focused on him; even as much as her staring up at him whilst they continued down the street. The competition was over; there was no money, no reward, no career opportunity, so why the hell would any of them even _bother_?

Johnny shrugged, "What have we got to lose?"

"..." Saying Ash was surprised at his words would be a severe understatement. Her mouth opened and closed numerous times as she tired to figure out exactly how to reply. Him continuing halted any thoughts to do so.

"Besides, Rosita heard around from Miss Crawly and Eddie that Buster has been rather depressed about the whole situation. Understandably so." Johnny sighed, "Refuses to leave the house; just sleeps, eats, and plays video games all day in his jammies…I mean, I guess could see why - the man has lost… **everything**. His entire life's work, dreams and hopes of restoring the theater to its former glory…That place meant everything to him and all he wanted to do was revitalize it with a competition. It's just…too bad it had to be destroyed that way…"

Johnny sounded so downcast and sympathetic of Buster's situation but Ash's heart refused to budge inside her heaving chest.

"Buster **lied.** Lied to _all_ of us." Ash argued; familiar anger building in her gut from the utter betrayal Buster had caused them - the money, the fortune, promise of a career - it was all a hoax.

And she was supposed to feel _sorry_ for him!? That sure as hell wasn't going to happen.

"I know he did…but I-I really believe he had the right intentions -"

"Hah! The road to hell is _paved_ with good intentions. You seem to forget that he almost got us KILLED!" Ash interrupted with fire in her icy blue eyes. "We all could have easily died in that damn flood! D-Doesn't that _bother_ you!?" Ash was all too aware her voice was probably louder than intended but she was upset. "We could have all of drowned for the promise of 100 grand when it was nothing but a chest full of junk!"

Johnny was silent for a long time before his mouth finally opened to speak, "That's true," he sighed, "but we **didn't** …and technically, it was the bears' fault the flood happened at all…" Johnny shrugged, face flushing a bit as he averted his eyes from her direction.

_Did this guy's optimism have no bounds?_

"Heh. That's a small discretion. It doesn't matter. He lied to us so it was **his** fault; even giving that Mike a chance was a bad mistake… Anyone who looked at him knew he was nothing but trouble."

"...Everyone makes mistakes…I think Buster's paid enough for his." Johnny replied and Ash was grateful for another red light. She stopped and stared up at him; the confusion and wondering just what the hell this guys deal was were the only things on her mind. At least it got her mind off of Lance if only for a moment…

How could Johnny or anyone want to give Buster another chance so easily?!

**There was** _**nothing** _ **to gain from it!**

"So, y-you're gonna try to convince him to what - Rebuild? Have a concert? …what exactly is your plan here!?"

"Heh. Kinda. In a way, I suppose." he stuttered around the words, "Well, if we go to the place he's staying next weekend like we planned and actually coerce him to do _something_ , Rosita was perhaps proposing we host a fundraiser concert of some sort. Just to bring people's attention to the Moon Theater - and if successful enough, there'd be enough money to re-build it? Maybe even getting the news media involved to bring attention to it; something along those lines."

"But what would that mean for any of us? Just perform for free?"

"Why not? We were doing it for the competition?" Johnny shrugged.

"Heh. That was _different_. We had a goal of prize money and a possible career on the line!"

"That is true but maybe performing now could at least get us some more recognition. May make finding some performing gigs a bit easier." he spoke, his brown eyes flicking to her guitar case and she ignored any connotation he may have meant by that.

"What makes you think he'll even listen?" Ash sighed; desperate to change the subject.

"...I don't know if he will but I think it's at least worth a shot."

Ash grew silent for a long time; uncomfortable as she readjusted the heavy guitar to her other hand before she began walking across the street once the crosswalk signal ignited.

It was at least a block before she spoke.

"Well, have fun with that."

Johnny seemed utterly shocked by her answer. "What? Y-You wouldn't want to come with us? Maybe you can help convince him to try it again." Johnny asked, not even bothering to keep the confusion from his voice.

"Try what?" she grumbled bitterly, "The theater is **gone**! Where are we going to perform? In the rubble? There's literally nothing for us there; no prize, no audience, no money in it! Why would I do that if there's nothing in it for me?" she hated showcasing her selfishness but she didn't care - after a life full of Lance, Lance, Lance, she damn well _deserved_ to be selfish for a change!

"...because you love to sing. Isn't that the whole reason you joined the competition?"

Damn, this guy was all rainbows and butterflies, wasn't he?

"Truthfully? No." Ash replied, "I joined mostly for the opportunity at a future record deal and let's face it - all that money wouldn't hurt." she left out the part where she wanted to rub it in Lance's beaver-tooth face when she won but she didn't feel like muttering it out.

"...but doesn't it at least interest you to get another chance? Perhaps help Buster get back on his feet in the process?"

"Look, Johnny." Ash stopped in her tracks; the people walking behind and in front now having to reluctantly walk around them as they stopped in the middle of the block. "I have my own problems - rent, bills… **life** … I just don't…" she sighed, voice tapering off as she tried to collect her thoughts. Her blue eyes averting momentarily, she looked up and was surprised when she saw her building was only one more block over.

Had they really been walking that long already? It was probably because she had to be hoofing it to keep up with his long strides.

"Those will always be there though." Johnny replied after he realized she wasn't going to continue.

Ash sighed; ignoring how logical his statement was. He still just didn't understand any of this - no one understood how hard this was for her and how moving on from all of this was imperative to her mental health. She couldn't keep backtracking - it simply wasn't healthy.

… _she needed to move on and that was it._

"...I don't think so." Ash spoke once they approached her building; she wasn't sure if Johnny was walking extra slow to keep up with her pace or because he wasn't ready to end this conversation. "Well, see ya." Ash said, her eyes straying anywhere but him as she began moving up the stairs toward her apartment door.

"Ash. Wait." his voice rang out and her earlier sense of Deja-Vu came back with a spine-chilling vengeance.

Instead of opening the door and ignoring him, Ash turned to look at him from where he walked up a few steps to approach her.

A sudden strange mix of curiosity and wondering if she should even bother further conversing with this guy swiftly plagued her thoughts. She really didn't plan to see him again…did she? If not, what was she even doing giving this guy another thought or moment of her time? Yeah, he got her guitar back but it all seemed to be forgotten or distant water underneath the bridge by this point; she had no further obligation, so why _had_ she stopped to listen?

Johnny had already been taking enough space in her subconscious since they met what felt like a lifetime ago already - giving him more leeway in her brain was only going to make it worse in the end.

Ash ignored those doubts for now and muttered out a "Hmm?" as if reluctantly telling him to continue.

"Um," he cleared his throat, "b-before you leave -" he continued, adjusting the groceries in his arms so he could reach into his jacket inner pocket and took out his cell phone - tapping the screen with his thumb a few times before proffering it to her.

Ash stared at the bright screen of his smartphone curiously; hands still firm at her sides.

"Would you mind if I get your number? I-I'll just send you a text so you can have mine too." he asked.

The confusion that was completely plastered on her face didn't seem to be enough so she looked back up at him and muttered, " _Why_?"

Johnny's face flushed slightly and she hated the sensation of butterflies that fluttered against her stomach wall when she seen the expression.

"You know, j-just in case you change your mind about going with us to talk with Buster next weekend. Maybe it will give you a chance to think about it - perhaps reconsider." Johnny stuttered out an explanation and she sensed he wanted desperately to scratch at the back of his head like he tended to do when he was nervous…wait, where did that come from?

"I dunno." she finally spoke out; head shaking of its own volition.

"But what if you decide to and you can't get a hold of us? I mean, because what are the odds that we'll literally bump into each other again?" Johnny laughed and she hated accepting just how light and nice it sounded; the fur in the back of her neck prickling with the sensation.

Ash's eyes gravitated back to the phone offered to her and in a gap of fleeting logical thought, she grabbed it and quickly typed in her phone number. Once it was in and saved onto his phone, Ash quickly plopped it back in his hand and without sparing him a glance, unlocked and opened her apartment door.

"Oh. I-uh-Thanks! I'll see you later!" Johnny said a rather confused farewell but Ash didn't care to look at him; just 'um-hmming' out a response before she closed the door behind her.

A few moments passed and she started to feel foolish. What was she thinking? Ash sighed; hoping it would be over and done with; after all, perhaps she'd typed it in wrong and the whole Moon Theater saga and all the others it entailed would soon be a distant memory.

That hopeful thought fleeted with her phone pinging from her pocket. Ash sighed, reaching for her phone and saw a new number pop up with a message.

"Hey. It's Johnny. Is this Ash?" it read.

A half-smile formed on her face when she saw it. I guess he thought she may trick him. Sad to say, that didn't work this time. Ash was tempted to type back - "sorry wrong number" just to mess with him, but for some reason, she didn't.

"Yeah. It's me" she typed back instead. In retrospect just wondering why she was prolonging her agony.

There was only one thought that went though her mind when her cell phone pinged with Johnny's reply of "Thanks Ash."

… _what in the actual **hell** was she doing?…_

* * *

 


	9. Rekindle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash reluctantly finds more than one reason to let her past go and embrace a brighter future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I am actually going to be vacationing in Las Vegas I won't be uploading anything for about two weeks since I won't be back til next weekend. I hope this will tide you over til then. ;-p
> 
> Thanks again for your constant support! Hope you enjoy. :-)

* * *

The next few days passed in relative silence; Ash's mind a torrent of faltering emotions and a torrential downpour of thoughts she had to live with on a daily basis even if her life outside her head was sadly more boring than a lazy snail's. Days consisting of eating, sleeping, watching mindless television, throwing fits a toddler would be proud of, and pounding the pavement in hopes of finding a job. Yet as hard as she tried, Ash's multiple attempts at getting employment; even being able to book a _single_ gig, were fruitless at best.

It wasn't as if the managers and owners of these establishments didn't give her a shot - they did.

A coffee shop, a few restaurants, and even a sleazy bar had given her a chance when all their regular patrons were absent or they had yet to open for the day. Accepted her offer with a smile, allowed her to hook up her equipment on their stage (sometimes make-shift at times but she handled it well enough) and perform for them in hopes they'd actually like it enough to hire her.

Ash did her best - she really did.

Voice strong, powerful, and admittedly, a bit too forceful like she always craved when she sang by Lance's side. Her microphone now turned all the way up and she projected like she always wanted to. Sure, she could have done things differently; such as choosing to perform with her and Lance's old set of music mainly because it was one she could execute in her sleep. Ash had not the time or energy to put into a whole new set with music and figuring that out especially when in a tight time crunch but she thought she tweaked it well enough it could pass as her own. Yeah, the lyrics didn't work out exactly right since she was singing for two people and couldn't carry out the duet as well as she would have liked - but she did her best. ...Yet not everyone felt the same; in fact, everyone who heard it were less than enthusiastic almost as soon as she started and only got worse when she was done.

… _if they let her finish at all…_

The look on their faces were what bothered Ash the most. Pitied almost. As if they'd pat her on the back and say _"Well, ya tried, kid"_ before kindly escorting/kicking her off the premises.

It all felt way too familiar and Ash despised it…

Loathed the sympathetic looks and making her feel completely pathetic - she was a hard-core **rocker** dammit - looks of pity and sympathy were **not** what she wanted from _anyone_ , let alone employers!

While walking away from yet another gig she failed to book, Ash's pace was more or less defeated. She'd went everywhere these past few days and sang what always got her at least a couple of gigs before. Yeah, Lance wasn't there anymore, but wasn't she supposed to be past that already? He was the one holding _her_ back…wasn't he?

…she dared not think about the connotations if it was the other way around…

Ash swallowed back a lump that clogged her throat as she pushed herself to the train stop. Whilst waiting for it to show up, she thought back on these past few days. The looks on their faces now permanently ingrained into her mind and showcased whenever she was forced to blink. A slight furrow to their brows and lips pursed as if they wanted to say something but decided against it. Instead they sugar-coated their words with such things as:

" _Y-You did well, i-it's just not the kind of music we want for our establishment."_ \- said the owner of their sleazy bar with half of his other employees being bikini clad (sometimes even topless) animals. Their other wanted sign advertised for more female "dancers" - he didn't bring it up and Ash didn't know whether to be unbelievably grateful or kinda insulted…

" _Um…that was…_ _ **something**_ _. …I-I'll call you."_ \- the coffee shop people never did.

" _...We're kinda looking for something more along the lines of 'smooth jazz'."_ said a manager of a Hard Rock Cafe. The least they could have done was come up with a somewhat convincing lie.

" _You call_ _ **that**_ _music? Damn, what is it with this new generation and their god-awful music? …What are you still doing here?! Git out!"_ \- said a grouchy old turtle who owned a expensive Tapas restaurant; Ash at least appreciated his honesty. Much preferred that than their lame excuses, fake smiles, and truth hidden behind kind words that really didn't mean anything. It was just a feeble attempt at trying to save face.

Mind flitting to her past for a second; how much easier things seemed just a few months ago…Then it was that competition that seemed to turn her life up on its head; showed Lance for who he truly was and destroyed a growing hope she had come to depend on. A future, a career, and a better life.

… _but that all turned out to be a lie too…_

When the train arrived, Ash quickly got on, grabbed an empty seat and desperately hoped tomorrow would be better…

* * *

Another two days came and went.

Just like last time, she was given more fake smiles or cheap excuses; even more flat-out "No's". Promises of being called back went unfulfilled and Ash felt more hopeless as the days trickled by at an incredibly slow, almost unbearable pace. Growing more numb to their words and false promises as the days slipped by like sand through the gaps in-between her fingers.

Needless to say, she was not feeling her best when she finally made it back home to her apartment later that night after yet another long day of pounding the pavement. Hoping against hope the next person to hear her would like it enough for their establishment.

Ash had no such luck.

Feet and fingers aching something fierce; throat a bit raw from all the sets she had to perform for absolutely nothing in return, she slammed the door behind her. After dropping her guitar case and kicking off her shoes by the front door, she plopped onto her couch and just stared at the ceiling; fine cracks, smudges, and a bit of peeling white paint staring back at her.

Perhaps throwing Lance's record collection at the ceiling fan was not her brightest idea…

Ash suddenly groaned, rolling over and burying her face into a freshly washed pillow that thankfully was finally rid of Lance's scent after three washes and half a container of extra odor-eating detergent. She really didn't know _**what** _ to do now. Certainly, she'd asked almost everyone in town about performing for their business but yet no one cared to call her back or offer her a gig. Almost the same answer at all of them; a back-handed "NO" that was hidden behind their means of trying to distract her with fake smiles and cheap excuses. There was really nothing left for her to do. Ash loathed the fact that when she was performing with Lance they got gigs occasionally and rather quickly; sure they never could become full-time because Lance refused to change up his set but they were semi-working musicians nonetheless.

Other than those few times, they never had too much trouble booking about once a week; sometimes even more if they were lucky. Ash hated to admit it, but Lance had a way of schmoozing people; a way of conversing and speaking with pretty much anyone. He was charming and had a way of convincing people hire him even if his music was never quite their taste.

Lance had the one thing she didn't - an outgoing personality - a laid-back charm that so many people warmed up to almost instantly even if his words were a two edged sword at times.

Ash was always quieter, kept to herself, and never felt too comfortable walking up to a stranger and having a conversation - it just wasn't in her.

In all actuality, she felt pretty good about herself as of late. More confident and outgoing; pushing herself out of her shell a bit by going to all these establishments and being able to ask them to give her a chance. Proudly performed her set without hesitation. She'd excelled past those boundaries even without Lance or anyone else by her side and for that…she felt proud.

Fruitless as it was in getting her a job, at least it was _something_.

Yet that pride quickly flicked away like a soft summer breeze. She still didn't have a job and the money she had saved was in no way going to last forever. Rent was expensive and bills weren't just going to go away anytime soon. A job was needed and if she couldn't even book a single gig (which paid barely anything regardless) than how the _hell_ was she going to make ends meet this way?

Oh, that's right -

… _she wasn't…_

Ash picked her face up from the pillow and pulled her phone out. Staring at the dimly lit screen in her darkened apartment (electricity was so damn expensive to keep too many lights on anymore) and hesitated before going to the internet browser and searching for local job openings. Her stomach plummeted as she kept reading the listings; while multiple of them filled her with dread as she continued down the list.

Most of the interesting jobs listed were adamant about requiring college degrees to even be considered for the position and while she graduated high school (or rather her GED), she was never able to afford college on her own while also supporting her boyfriend and their lifestyle. As much as Ash had wanted to go to college, Lance always told her it was a waste of time. Her mother didn't want to hear it or her desires to be a singer/musician; she instead wanted Ash to go to work for her real estate business instead (Ash preferred death). The last option, her father, only opted to pay for it if she broke up with Lance to focus completely on her studies.

Being the young, naive teen she was (one who was certain she was hopelessly in love at the time) stupidly refused her father's offer…

It was only now she wished she listened to her dad. As she stood now, Ash desperately wanted to bitch-slap her younger self for believing her father didn't have her best intentions at heart…Wishing she broke up with Lance, went to college and who knew where she could have been in her life at this point?!

Shaking her head to rid herself of a past she could not change, Ash continued looking.

There were plenty of retail and food service gigs open that didn't require college but the thought of going back to those establishments made her skin crawl. She'd worked at them for years trying to support her and her ex and she sure as hell didn't feel all up to doing it all over again. Recalling the rude customers and hellish closing shifts she was forced to work - long and arduous hours for minimum wage and zero respect.

…but as she continued, she began to wonder if she even had a choice…

Without a college degree and no experience doing much else but grunt work at these establishments, she had little options open.

Ash stared at a few more options and her stomach sunk as she made it to the musician/artist section and every single establishment she already went to was now staring back at her.

Every.

Single.

One.

She had gone to all of them and was systematically rejected; pushed aside and basically told she wasn't good enough to perform there. Yet, another part of her clenched when she re-scanned the list and noticed many her and Lance had performed at before…the only difference this time around was now it was just her.

…and they rejected her…

Ash sat back up on the couch, her chest heaving and heart slamming against her rib-cage; valiantly and desperately keeping her tears at bay, She DARED not cry again. The faces of all those who refused to hire her flitting about her mind; their dissatisfied expressions and awkward excuses plaguing her thoughts.

In a pathetic attempt to weed them out, her mind (for some strange reason) wandered to Buster Moon.

Perhaps the only one that saw something in her that these managers and owners of all these various establishments never saw in Lance. Buster looked past him during their performance; focusing on her; witnessing _her_ abilities even as she fought to be heard over Lance's loud speakers a microphone; a hidden potential that no one else did before…but Buster did. Even with Lance there, he heard her voice and it was enough for him to reject Lance and choose her…

Yeah, he lied about the money…but what if he didn't lie about anything else like she wanted to believe?

Ash thought about those days they practiced at the theater. A half-smile formed at the memory of him trying to coerce her to sing "Call Me Maybe" - sure he didn't understand teenagers whatsoever but his intentions seemed so pure at the time. Remembering when he heard her perform a bit of her own song while she was locked in her own practice room backstage. Silently, he walked in and was genuinely astonished that she'd written it herself; wasn't shy to praise her abilities.

_Very few had done that before…_

Buster choosing her over almost a whole roomful of animals - save a handful or two. Out of all the varying voices (some so astonishing and amazing) were rejected, but hers wasn't. To think Buster choosing her over Lance was what finally revealed to her the exact person Lance was; what truly laid in his unfeeling, selfish heart. That he wasn't happy for her getting to the next round whatsoever; instead he decided to showcase his selfishness with backhanded comments that went over her head for so many years before. Telling her Buster was crazy, that she should just give up even as she desperately tried to encourage him that she was doing it for both of them.

…lying to her face when he flat out said that she could never write a song…

It was Buster Moon that made her see Lance for who he truly was. His haphazard and random practice hours the only reason Ash caught Lance cheating on her at all. To think how many times he had another woman in their apartment _…it made her sick…_ Ash bit her lip; refusing to let any tears fall at the very thought of how many times he must have been cheating on her throughout the years. Right under her nose and lying to her face about it; all his "gigs" and "late-night practices" all going over her head.

All the lies she believed for far too long.

To think if she never went for Buster's offer; if she believed Lance and never showed up to practice how different it all may have turned out. Ash would have never known about his cheating ways and would have been stuck in a loveless relationship for probably the rest of her life. Never knowing what a true asshole she'd been with this whole time.

If there was anything she wanted to thank Buster for…that was it.

A sigh leeching its way from between her lips, Ash stared out over the expanse of her apartment; the only light coming from the full moon peering in through her living room windows. So many questions and not enough answers; what if's plaguing her thoughts and just what the hell was she supposed to do?

There was absolutely nowhere to turn anymore.

Fingers freezing over her phone before she pressed the home button; seeing all the notifications of texts, e-mails, and voicemails she never bothered to see or listen to staring back at her. Ash went through her phone and saw Johnny's number. Recalling the conversation they had almost a whole week ago - about going to see Buster and convincing him to try again.

Apart of Ash let out a breath, an almost laugh at the sheer absurdity staining her lips but she stopped short. Seemingly helpless now lost in a world she was still trying to figure out; a career that didn't seem to want to leave the ground. For those few moments, she allowed herself to think of how good it felt to audition - to be chosen, and mostly, to write her own song. Using her own voice to speak out against what her ex had done to her…

" _...because you love to sing. Isn't that the whole reason you joined the competition?"_ Johnny's voice echoed through her mind.

A question and comment she basically laughed off because of his seemingly never-ending supply of optimism, life of sunshine and rainbows, and "look at the bright side" mentality that had been plaguing her since she met him.

But the longer she thought about it - she'd always loved to sing. Ever since she was a little girl with her hideously pink "Princess"microphone and karaoke machine she begged her dad for when she was only five. Back there in happier, easier times when pitch, range, vibrato or tempo changes meant nothing - she just sang. Not caring if she was staying on perfect pitch or learning to learn the range of her voice. It was this joy she felt every time she opened her mouth and belted out a song she heard on one of those cheesy animated movies.

…being on Buster's stage somehow brought that back if only for a moment. Almost the same feeling when she practiced her song over and over in the quiet loneliness of her living room…

… _she_ _ **did**_ _love to sing…_

Ash's face fell when Johnny's words suddenly made more sense; what was that reasoning she joined? Not Lance, not them as a group - her? Was it to relive those moments of fleeting childhood that went way too fast or to become a superstar for the notoriety of fame and fortune? Perhaps she could willingly admit that it was a little bit of both. Ash wanted to be a singer; always had…

Icy blue eyes gravitating to her guitar case by the door she knew that she always would.

Regardless if she made it big or even made it a living - she would always want to sing, want to play her guitar. Whether it was for herself or a stadium full of people - as long as she got to sing, what the hell did it matter?

" _What do we have to lose?"_ Johnny's voice reappeared in her head and Ash barely had the time to ask herself what the hell she was doing before her fingers moved over the device and she pressed Johnny's name and hit the small green telephone icon.

It began ringing immediately and before she even had time to rethink her decision or consider hanging up, Johnny answered.

"'ello? Ash?" he asked not even bothering to hide the outright confusion in his thickly-accented voice; Ash hated how her stomach somersaulted at hearing his kind tone. It'd been far too long since she heard genuine kindness and damn, she _hated_ how good it felt to hear.

"…Ash? Are you there?"

"Yeah. I'm here." she muttered out; hating how sudden tears burned the back of her eyes and hoped to God it didn't leach out through her voice. Just what the hell was wrong with her?

"Oh…um…you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"That's good to hear." Johnny spoke and she could practically see his soft smile over the other line.

"Yeah...Good…" she muttered, her fingers nervously tangling in her skirt.

' _Spectacular conversing skills you have there, Ash…'_ she chided herself with a shake of her head. Pushing through her own doubts and before she could second-guess on what she was about to say, she just blurted it out.

"Listen. Johnny…?"

"Yes?" he asked.

"...Count me in."

* * *

 


	10. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group meets up to discuss the game plan before heading to confront Buster Moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My Gosh, y'all… Your support constantly astounds me. 160 kudos and 30 bookmarks!? What!? O_o You guys are simply AMAZING. I cannot believe how many of you are enjoying my little fict so much. T_T Thank you! I love reading your comments and seeing how many people comment, kudo and bookmark this story - it just makes me so happy! It's nice being a part of such a supportive fandom that enjoys my work! It's because of you that I find the inspiration and drive to keep consistently writing and updating as often as I can! Xoxoxoxoxo
> 
> I also apologize for the minor delay (almost a month O.o), but between being out of town and finishing up other JohnnyxAsh stories, I kinda lost this chapter in the midst. It's been in the works for awhile and just came together these past few days. I digress to tell you but I am yet again leaving town for another week and shall not commence submitting further chapters until the last few days of this month. I apologize but the next chapter is well underway so look forward to that!
> 
> P.S. Happy Easter! 3
> 
> P.P.S. Also, since you guys have been so patient (and since this is the 10th chapter) I thought you deserved an extra long chapter! ;-)

* * *

The week leading up to the following Friday was more or less of a blur.

Ash still couldn't believe (even after more than a week to comprehend it) that she had actually agreed to help - to try and coerce Buster on trying to continue the competition regardless of the lack of prize money or even a real stage to perform on. Still had absolutely no idea what possessed her to call Johnny and tell him that she actually wanted to assist - to count her in to their most-likely fruitless attempts at some kind of reconciliation.

Yes, she was frustrated and miserable at the fact she hadn't been able to get a single gig of her own volition and perhaps that was one of the main reasons for her lack of logic and judgment, but now it was far too late too rethink or re-take back any previous statement. The date was set and she'd already spoken to Johnny multiple times this week - if she backed out now, she'd just end up looking like a total jackass.

It hadn't been easy regardless.

More like a tug of war of sorts; keeping her head above water and depression at bay as she watched her life crumble around her yet she grasped to this diminutive hope as if it was her only lifeline…

Perhaps another chance to sing her own song and to showcase some semblance of forgiveness toward Buster Moon was exactly she needed. At the very least, going to see him would perhaps give this traumatic chapter of her life a nice bookend so she wouldn't have to even think about it again. With it out of the way, she could move on with her life - push forward, possibly ask her dad for a loan so she could start college if nothing or no one else was there to lean on. Ash could start over, do things like she should have done years ago and get a degree and a job like a normal animal instead of chasing her unrealistic dreams…well, that's her mother called them anyway…

…the very inking of it killed her inside…

To imagine that talking Buster into doing something about this show could possibly be the last chance she had at singing - to make a career out of something she lived and breathed for as long as she can remember. Giving those childhood dreams up would possibly be the final nail in her coffin but Ash really saw no other way out. Working a mediocre job and performing at bars and the such on weekends (if she could get the gigs at all) was hardly a glamorous life of a rockstar she so badly desired…

The more optimistic side of her, that had long since fled to the back of her subconscious, secretly hoped this would be the beginning of perhaps something better. The possibility of Buster readily agreeing, they would perform, the news would cover it, and some record label would eagerly sign them all up!

… _yeah, right…_

The bitter part of her laughed it off for Ash was no optimist, she was a realist and in the end, it would serve her well.

If this inevitably didn't work out, if Buster refused and she had to go back to square one - she had begging her pops for college money to look forward to. To get a degree in something non-music related for what else was college going to teach her about music that she already didn't know? …to give up the dream of selling-out stadiums to screaming fans and instead working the dreaded nine-to-five in a steady job so she could support herself. A part of her dreaded that moment she would call her dad but another expected it.

Yet somewhere in the vast recesses of her optimistic side, there was this part that held onto the unquenchable hope that Buster would at least hear them out and consider it.

_But for now…all she could do was wait._

So she did. Spending this past week continuing to clean her apartment and re-organizing things to make it her own space - to divulge the last of her apartment away from how her and Lance decorated it when they first moved in together. It now only held her flair and she was able to do so while simultaneously trying to cut back on certain things such as cable television, name brand foods, and sparingly uses of household things such as electricity and gas to save on bills (also making a few extra bucks by pawning Lance's extensive music and movie collection). Ash wanted to be sure that the money she had saved would last for awhile in the off-chance that perhaps this may just work out and she was in limbo as things got back in order and her would stay on dream on life-support.

As far-fetched as that idea may seem, Ash clung to it harder than she wanted to admit…

A soft sigh escaped her throat before she jumped off her couch; about to head to the bedroom to finish getting ready for the day when a sound froze her mid-step. Cell phone suddenly buzzed from atop the white leather couch followed by an annoying ringtone Lance chose months ago rang out through the apartment (she reminded herself to change it).

"Be there in a few." Johnny's text read and her eyes widened.

" _Shit!_ " she gasped under her breath; tossing the cellular device onto the couch where it bounced once before becoming still. The obnoxious notification ringtone still going on for a few seconds until her apartment became deadly silent once again.

Ash had not even noticed when time was slipping away from her. She _really_ needed to stop spending her days staring at her apartment walls lost in her over-crowded mind… Without another spare thought, she ran back to her room to finish getting ready for a pre-planned "meeting" at Rosita's house before they'd all go to see Buster and Ash's stomach churned at the very thought. Maybe it was seeing everyone again that had her turning into a panicky bundle of nerves…

Rosita, Gunter, Meena, and Miss Crawly (not to mention the very depressed Buster) - more people she was so certain she'd never see again in her lifetime. Thought the whole Moon Theater Saga was behind her and would ultimately end up to be nothing but a strange memory or recollection of images taken from multiple weeks ago, but _no_ … Yet as she stood there, her more logical side of why her stomach was in knots was probably more or less the fact that Johnny was going to be here any minute to pick her up.

Damn bus stop not being in reasonable walking distance to the vast recesses of suburbia that Rosita called home left her with absolutely no choice but to call up Johnny and ask him for a lift.

Well, technically he offered in an earlier phone call:

" _Hey, Ash, I finally got some petrol for my truck." he sounded way too damn happy as usual, "A-Are you going need a ride to Rosita's? I can give you a lift if you want -"_

_She gave him a firm, "No."_

_Moments later, Ash found out to her growing horror that the train nor bus did not go that far into Suburbia and she'd end up walking over an hour just to reach Rosita's house. Having little to no more options, Ash ended up having to mope for a good twenty minutes before calling Johnny back and un-rejecting his offer and instead had to re-ask him for a ride._

" _...still got an empty seat for Friday?" she asked, cheeks burning and throat clogging up with embarrassment as the words fled out from her mouth._

_Johnny, chuckling lightly (which simultaneously caused her fur to prickle and annoyed the hell out of her) replied, "Of course, Ash. I'll pick you up around a quarter after 12. Is that alright?"_

_Couldn't he just say 12:15?_

" _Just peachy." she replied before she listened to his pleasant goodbyes and hung up without so much as a response._

_Ash hated relying on other people and especially of how many times she'd already relied on Johnny in the short month they'd known each other._

_After the phone was long since hung up, Ash spent the remainder of that night internally cringing at the swift change in direction her life had taken. Wondering just why the hell just listening to his voice made her stomach feel so damn weird!? There was something_ _**really** _ _wrong with her but before she could think of any more connotations, she pushed her face into a pillow and hoped either she'd suffocate or fall asleep._

_It sadly ended up being the latter._

"Dammit…"Ash muttered while pulling on her shoes and brushing back her quills for the umpteenth time. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' she pondered bitterly as she stared at her reflection in her bedroom vanity, adjusting her eyeshadow and eyeliner yet again. She looked like a damn raccoon already so another swipe of the black pencil wouldn't hurt, right?

_Why was she so nervous?!_

Ash's stomach was filled with apprehension and hands shook as she finished applying her make-up. It felt too much like those times she was performing for those managers and owners; nervousness about her future at stake didn't seem the time or place as of now.

What the hell?

All they were only going to do was confront a depressed koala that lost his entire livelihood and business. Going to try talking him into reworking the rubble of what used to be an old grand theater into a stage and hope he takes the bait. The possibilities flitting through her mind should he agree - a chance to perform her song and get this heavy baggage off her chest.

_To_ _finally_ _move on with her life in one way or another…_

A sudden knock on her door had her jumping nearly a foot in the air.

" **Coming**!" she screamed probably louder than intended; wondering in the back of her mind just why her neighbors hadn't complained about her more.

Fixing her skirt, she ran over to door and opened it up.

"'Ello, Ash. How are you?" Johnny greeted; standing at her doorstep with his normal laid-back smile plastered on his face.

 _Just what was he always so happy about?_ _She swore this guy was always in an annoyingly good mood…some perfect life he must have been living to be so damn pleasant..._

Without even responding to his question, she said "Come in for a bit - I need a few more minutes." before turning around and disappearing back into her apartment.

"Oh… Sure. Alright." she heard him respond, footsteps following her into her the living room as she made a bee-line for her bedroom to change her skirt for probably the dozenth time that day. Why today of all days did her clothes decide not to fit right or constantly ride up!? She hadn't eaten _that_ much crap lately that her clothes were getting too tight, was she? …ugh, just freakin' perfect…

"I'll just be a couple minutes. Sit down for a bit or stand - whatever floats your boat." Ash muttered before closing her bedroom door behind her and running back to her ransacked closet.

It was half-empty since she tossed Lance's clothes out but somehow still felt strangely crowded. The remaining garments she had yet to try on just filled her with dread - she hadn't worn most of them since freshman year in high school (part of her wondered why she hadn't thrown them out). Disheartened, her eyes fell and she took in a pile of clothes she just wore yesterday staring back at her from their rumpled appearance shoved next to her dresser. Slightly wrinkled and the same outfit they'd seen her in before but right now? She didn't care.

They were worn, comfortable and the skirt stayed in place - a final glance in the mirror showcased the multiple wrinkles but they didn't bother her.

Exiting the bedroom, she took in Johnny sitting rather awkwardly on her couch - the piece of furniture looking rather diminutive underneath his larger frame not to mention how the cushions caved underneath his weight. The smile that tickled her lips came from nowhere and Ash didn't like it one bit. A few seconds passed with her just taking him in, the windows open and bright sun filtering though and showcasing the brunette patch of hair on his forehead and bright chestnut eyes that were focused on the phone in his hand. It was rather strange yet reassuring to have someone else in her apartment since she kicked Lance's ass out over a month ago.

_So much had happened since…_

Before Ash even realized it, Johnny was looking right at her with the most befuddled look on his face. Ash jumped at his stare and internally berating herself for blatantly staring. Her internal mantra of " _idiot, idiot, idiot_ " going uninterrupted when Johnny spoke up.

"Have you finished getting ready?" Johnny asked, taking a second to slip his phone back into his signature leather jacket pocket.

"Y-Yeah. Let's go." Ash muttered out, still refusing to meet his eyes while she made a show of grabbing her phone (which Johnny thankfully avoided sitting on) and shoving it in her jeans pocket. Johnny stood up right before Ash began heading toward the door; apartment keys jingling softy in her hand.

Johnny seemed a bit more surprised at her urgency than anything but followed her out of the apartment without another word.

* * *

Ash puffed out a sigh of annoyance as Johnny opened the vehicle door for her, again offering his hand to help her into the tall truck bed. Instead of allowing him to assist her further, she ignored his proffered hand and climbed up the metal step before hoisting herself onto the worn leather seat. Even experiencing a small sense of victory when she was able to click her seat-belt into place on her own.

Johnny more or less ignored her avoidance, smiling and making sure she was all in before he quietly closed the door behind her. Within a few seconds, he was sitting beside her in the driver's seat, seat-belt clicking, and the engine coming to life with a turn of his keys.

A quick glance in his mirror and they were off.

* * *

The radio was much more noticeable this time around; soft soothing sounds of R&B filling her ears and while it wasn't exactly her type of preferred music, it wasn't making her ears bleed. She needed more calming music to get through today anyway. Johnny's driving was much less manic this time around even if he cut corners a bit too sharply, causing the tires to harshly squeal underneath them a few times, it was a vast improvement. There was almost a familiarity between the two now; after speaking with him by phone multiple times this week and their once terse meeting was water under the bridge, it felt much more at ease.

Almost friends it seemed even if Ash denied it - acquaintances just felt far too impersonal now…Yet Ash refused to acknowledge this fact - she wasn't in this to make friends. If none of this worked out, these people wouldn't be in her life any longer so clinging to any so called "friendship" she was building was useless…

… _that's at least what she told herself…_

The drive was a lot longer than Ash initially expected, her own mind drowning in doubt and curiosity of what exactly was to take place later today. Johnny tried speaking with her a few times, to open up some kind of conversation but Ash gave him one word answers or let out a "mm-hmm" or something similar. After awhile, Johnny stopped trying by turning his complete focus on the road and allowing her to get lost in her own mind and the rather catchy song on the radio. Something about it sounding oddly familiar but far more important things were taking precedent over them for the moment.

The city she knew the streets by heart began fading away as they drove deeper into more residential areas. Recalling her mother's house looking far too similar to those she was seeing the tops of now was a bit _too_ familiar for her own liking. Last Christmas when she took Lance with her to visit her mother was the equivalent of hell on earth and it was best it remained lost in her subconscious.

"We almost there?" Ash asked, desperately needing to think about something, _anything_ than her mother and Lance, the bastard of an ex-boyfriend.

"Yeah, a few more minutes." Johnny responded, showing her the screen of his phone where he was using a navigational app.

Ash smirked at that.

"You didn't know the way either?" she asked.

"Nah. Don't recall the last time I drove around here - no one I know lives in nice homes like these - mostly flats, condos, and whatnot." Johnny replied before turning down another winding street filled with seemingly endless cookie cutter houses.

"Yeah, same here." Ash replied.

Within a few more moments, Johnny pulled over in front of a bright, baby blue house. Quaint, adorable, homey - all the things Ash knew precious little of anymore. Her life was too bleak for all this happiness.

"Wow. She has a nice house." Johnny commented, "Oh, there's Meena and Gunter!" he continued a second later when his eyes landed upon another arriving car. Ash could not see anything because of her stature but seeing the gorilla waving gave her a good idea of where they were. Within seconds, Johnny was out of his seatbelt and the truck.

Ash undid her seatbelt but didn't bother with the door until Johnny opened it and she hopped out, immediately receiving an enthusiastic wave from Gunter and a more shy one from Meena, who was standing close to an old-fashioned car with an older elephant still in the driver's seat. Johnny was less shy; pleasant greetings and questions abounded from him easily as he approached and began speaking to the two. Ignoring their conversation, Ash's eyes strayed toward Rosita's house just wanting to get this over with…

"There you guys are!" Rosita was suddenly opening her door and waving at where they still stood on the sidewalk. "Don't be shy - come on in!"

_Well, here goes nothing…_

* * *

Being in Rosita's house was strange to say the least. First off, it was a helluva lot cleaner than she expected a house with 25 piglets living in would be. It wasn't a pigsty like she expected and later on, she knew that was a stupid joke.

There were strange contraptions everywhere; on staircases, doorways, ceilings, doorknobs and pretty much everywhere else you could think of. If Ash didn't know any better, she would think it was some fun house or strange factory. Sparing a glance at Johnny, she suspected his mind was roughly in the same place hers was.

Meena was more or less just trying not bump into anything with her gargantuan frame; awkwardly skirting, ducking, and maneuvering around in that way she was known to do. Gunter strutted around (wearing more sequins than should be legal) like he owned the place and made himself comfortable right away; probably the only one of them (besides Rosita) that felt somewhat normal and at peace in this environment. It had a homey feel and the furniture not too much larger than her own and that alone was enough to put her at ease.

"Thanks for coming you guys. Hope it wasn't too out of the way for you; the city just isn't mine or Norman's cup of tea." Rosita chuckled, gesturing for them to sit at her dining room table; twenty-seven chairs all circling the large wooden table. "Also would be way too expensive to find an apartment big enough for all of us...not to mention the noise complaints we'd receive..." she sighed, an exhausted chuckle escaping amidst the fray.

Ash still was trying to absorb the fact that Johnny wasn't lying and Rosita _really_ had twenty-five kids…how was that even _possible_!? Rosita looked way too young for that to be normal…

"You have a beautiful home, Rosita." Johnny spoke up politely, thankfully bringing Ash out of further thoughts, "Thank you for inviting us."

Of course he would be the one to speak - he had that easy charm about him. She hated to admit that she envied it.

"Aww, why thank you, Johnny… Um, well, we might as well get to what we came here for, right? B-Before we get started, you guys want anything to drink? I have milk, juice, or maybe some candy? Lord knows my kids don't need to eat it all." Rosita chuckled.

"No dank-ooh." Gunter replied with a smile.

Johnny, Ash,and Meena each gave each other sideways glances before Johnny spoke for all of them (admittedly in a much less shy or impolite tone than the other two would have used.)

"No thank you, Rosita. We're quite alright." Johnny spoke and Rosita just smiled before sitting down to join them.

"Alright. Um, from what the conversations I've been having with Miss Crawly, Buster is staying at Eddie's poll house." Rosita explained with a shrug.

"So, he's hiding out basically." Ash muttered out before her mind could even filter it out.

Rosita flashed her a rather disciplinary motherly look out of sheer instinct but it was gone before Ash could really recognize it.

"...Yeah." Rosita let out a sigh. "He **is** kind of hiding out, I suppose."

"Who could blame heem? Oh, da heart - it must ache ta lose all ya have." Gunter commented sadly.

"Yeah. That is awful." Johnny agreed and Meena nodded. Ash more or less remained silent. "I think that's why we should cheer him up a bit before confronting him about the show itself."

"That's a great suggestion, Johnny." Rosita approved.

"Ooh, Yah! Dat's a great idea!" Gunter readily agreed.

"Uh - I-I guess we mention how great of a job he was doing and how excited we are to perform regardless of the money, right?" Rosita asked and the group (sans Ash) nodded, "Good. So, what else can we do to cheer him up?"

"I-I-I baked him a cake…I-It's in my grandpa's car." Meena's sweet voice was muffled mostly behind her ears when she spoke up.

"Oh, you did? That was a great idea, Meena." Rosita praised with a kind smile.

"Yah! Ooh doesn't love cake?" Gunter chuckled.

Meena's freckled cheeks grew red and they started further disappearing behind her huge ears.

"From what I heard from Miss Crawly, she's planning on her own speech." Rosita laughed.

"We might just be there all day if that's the case. Miss Crawly can drone on for quite some time." Johnny weighed in and Rosita laughed more, even Meena let out a small chuckle.

"Ees always gud to zee preepared!" Gunter acknowledged.

"Yeah! If he's cheered up and willing to hear us out, we can discuss the idea of perhaps renovating what's left of the Moon Theater. I'm sure we can work _something_ out." Rosita suggested.

"I'm sure there's still some of the foundation left. When I was there digging in the rubble a few days after the theater fell, there was quite a few seats and pillars and whatnot that survived the fall." Johnny explained and Ash worried for a split second that he'd mention that he salvaged her guitar in the rubble or one of the animals would be curious as to why he was digging there at all but thankfully, no one asked.

"Really? So some of it may be salvageable even after the crew went through it?" Rosita asked.

"From what I saw, yes." Johnny answered.

"Dis may just work!" Gunter nodded happily.

"W-We could even help put it back together. I-If we work hard enough, I bet we could come up with something resembling a stage." Meena weighed in, her ears now pulled back enough from her face so it wasn't too muffled anymore.

"Ooh! Oon oonce zee theater is up and we perform, perhaps we can do za charity concert!" Gunter exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah! To raise money, perhaps even start rebuilding! I-If there's enough people willing to donate time or money, I mean -anything is possible!" Rosita was excited at this point.

"We could do that." Johnny agreed.

"Y-Yeah, it might even be kinda fun." Meena said with a nod.

"Perfect! Even during rebuilding, we can hold concerts elsewhere to raise money and keep the funds steady!" Rosita said.

"That's an excellent idea, Rosita." Johnny smiled and the group (sans Ash again) readily agreed.

The group started weighing different ideas, pleased about the direction of the conversation when a voice rang out.

"...but what if Buster doesn't agree to any of it?" Ash again spoke out before she could stop it and within a split second the once excited voices stopped and Ash just felt horribly out of place.

Four pairs of eyes were suddenly on her very small form and she fought the urge to slink down in her chair. Why was she always the harbinger of harsh reality? Well, she guessed because **someone** had to - all this optimism was beginning to need a dose of reality eventually.

At first, it was just silent.

Eyes eventually turned away from her as everyone simultaneously got lost in their own heads. As the moments slowly passed, the clock above the nearest window could be heard ticking the seconds away, there was now an almost somberness leeching into the once bright happy room.

Atmosphere changing from hopeful to sheer dread and it was nothing of which Ash wanted to hear or experience right now. Sure, she probably shouldn't have spoken out with such a dreary tone but frankly, she expected more optimism from this group. But with the way Rosita was now eerily quiet and how Meena curled up further on herself and even a rather morose expression filling Gunter's face made Ash realize none of them really thought their plan was 100% really going to work.

From the position right next to him, Ash couldn't see Johnny's face and the little she did see gave her no indication of what the gorilla was thinking. Just his normal lax pose as he lightly drummed atop the countertop with fingers as if he was on a piano. If anyone was still confident they could get to Buster whatsoever, it would be him…and the reason it was somehow comforting to her blew her mind…

The room was almost too quiet as a loud timer suddenly went off; all the occupants other than Rosita and Gunter flinched at the sudden sound.

Rosita immediately perked up as she slipped on oven mitts and walked over to the oven. The fresh scent of chocolate chip cookies suddenly wafted through the air the second she opened it.

Ash's stomach automatically grumbled at the sudden nostalgic aroma. The last time she had real homemade cookies (that weren't just a log of refrigerated dough from the supermarket) was when her granny was still alive - that was well over seven years ago.

_Life seemed so much simpler back then…_

The scent of pure nostalgia and a promising music career teetered on this delicate string and Ash just was becoming simply overwhelmed even though she was valiant to not show it. Face hardened and expression blank as she watched the kind motherly pig start placing the warm cookies upon a large plate.

"That's true, Ash. We do need to face that possibility as well…" Rosita allowed a frustrated sigh to escape before she continued with a more determined tone, "Regardless of the outcome, we're here to at least give it a try. And that's what we're going to do. Alright? Okay. We all needed a little pick-me-up before we go see Buster. We should hurry because I need to pick up by kids by three." Rosita said almost as an afterthought, "So, please help yourselves! We'll head out when everyone's done."

Rosita's smile looked forced, not as bright and peppy as it was when they arrived and Ash felt partially to blame…alright, _mostly_ to blame.

Yet those thoughts faded when Rosita placed the cookies right in front of her. Rosita caught her eyes for a moment and Ash swallowed at the gentleness in those motherly eyes to let Ash know it was alright. Much like when the kind pig comforted after her horrible break-up and embarrassing herself by sobbing through a horrendous pop song.

_Ash felt as if she no where near deserved any of this kindness…_

"Thank ya, Rosita!" Gunter said, happily reaching for a cookie which prompted Meena to grab one as well.

"Yes, T-Thank you, Rosita." Meena spoke out.

"You're welcome - well, enjoy. I'll be a down in a few." Rosita said before she left the room leaving the remaining four with the plate of cookies.

Suddenly feeling a bit more at ease, Ash reached forward and took the still warm cookie in her paws. Not even hesitating before taking a big bite; shoving the moan that wanted to escape down as she was hit with huge chunks of real chocolate and a gooey, almost molten center. Why was something as simple as a cookie this effective in making everything seem better?

A sudden recollection and confusion hitting her when she realized Johnny made no move for the plate, his head turned toward a window yet his hand continued the light drumming motion. As strange as his sudden change in demeanor was, it was forgotten when she ignored him and took another bite instead.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the group was back outside, Rosita getting into her car with Gunter as Meena got climbed back into the passenger car with the elderly elephant still waiting inside. Ash was rather confused as Johnny never took a cookie even as Ash managed to score an extra three in a small baggie for later. Sure, there were more higher priorities now considering they were about to head to Eddie's house to talk to Buster, but it was still a curios observation nonetheless.

Once in the truck, Ash was going to ask but the question died on her tongue. Rather opting to remain silent as Johnny started the truck and followed after Rosita's red car.

A sudden lump grew in her stomach, things she tried not to think about started plaguing her with doubt and before she can reason them in her own mind, she spoke.

"...do you _actually_ think this is gonna work?" The words left her mouth before she could stop him. His ever present optimism being put to the test by the drag in her voice. Daring him to say something that wouldn't contradict the tenseness of this entire situation and the uncertainty in nearly all the voices they heard today. Between all the optimism and hope, there was always the lingering doubt…

Johnny remained silent for a long time - not speaking even as if he shifted gears multiple times and guided them through traffic to keep up with the others.

Enough so that Ash lifted her head and stared at his profile. An expression on his face she wasn't used to seeing; the barest hints of nervousness and his internal pondering were mostly hidden behind more of a blank stare. Ash watched as his right hand moved, switching the truck's gear shift and speeding up slightly as they got on the freeway. His left hand ever present on the wheel as his deep chestnut eyes refused to leave the road.

Questioning suddenly if he was even listening, Johnny suddenly spoke.

"...heh. I really dunno." he chuckled, accent thicker than usual, "but what I do know is that we have to try. What other option do we have?"

_Ash supposed that would have to be enough…_

* * *

 


	11. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group confronts Buster Moon but will he be willing to listen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The confrontation with Buster was taken word for word from the movie so hopefully I didn't screw that up. :-P Anyway, thanks again for all your comments, faves, kudos, etc. Your support constantly astounds me! Xoxo

* * *

If Ash thought the drive to Rosita's was long, she was mistaken in thinking Eddie's house would be any closer. Driving farther north into suburbia that turned from more family homes into much less affordable for the average working animal. Seeing the hipster-ish sheep in person, with all of his laid-back lazy charm, it would astonish you to find out that he was crazy stinkin' rich. The address that was provided was well-known as an area that only millionaires would frequent or scarcely able to afford.

Johnny was just as wide-eyed as her as he continually followed the group farther into the mountainous hills filled with gilded mansions, wrought iron gates, alabaster and granite walls, and flawless, sky-scraping palm trees lining blocks as far as the eye could see.

"Wow. Only celebrities and millionaires 'ave in houses like these... Eddie seems so down to earth - hard ta imagine he lives up here." Johnny commented with a heavier Cockney accent than usual, eyes straying from the road while they were yielded for a moment at a stop sign. His large chestnut eyes taking up the scenery in rapt astonishment and Ash could scarcely blame him - it felt almost as if it was almost a different world from their worn city.

"Me either. Heh. Buster must _really_ be suffering living up here in the slums." Ash replied sarcastically once the car started moving again.

Large gated mansions and opulent communities were nothing she was familiar with and she started pulling at her wrinkled clothes in a sudden sense of slight insecurity. She'd always hated more glitzy things for she was never one to be part of that - rather found herself rebelling against it. Ash was by no means impressed by anyone's wealth and just because they were affluent didn't make them any better than anyone else. She supposed it was part of being subjected to those privileged so-called glamorous girls in high school that would turn up their nose at her any opportunity they got.

_Ash always despised them…_

Johnny's sudden movement caught her eye when he suddenly adjusted in his seat and Ash was actually grateful for the distraction.

"You nervous?" Ash asked before she really even planned to speak out.

"Heh. Yeah, a little, I s'ppose." Johnny chuckled, pulling at the neck of his green sweater and Ash was given a sense of Déjà Vu about the first time they ever really spoke. Her sobbing like a sad sack atop that music case when he barged in and sat petrified beside her, his eyes kept checking his watch in an almost panic. Their short conversation and his words more encouraging to her than her boyfriend of five years had ever been…

_It was hard to believe it was only over a month ago that all of this crazy roller-coaster ride started._

"…are you?" Johnny continued with a slight chuckle a moment later, "Ya know…nervous?" His warm brown eyes directed at the road as he made another sharp turn behind Rosita's car.

Ash leaned further back into the worn, soft leather; taut quills pricking the seat a bit as she shifted. In all honesty, hell yes she was nervous but she was quite hesitant to admit it. Especially to Johnny (for whatever reason, she wasn't exactly sure).

"Eh, kinda...not really…" the porcupine shrugged in an attempt to correct herself, "I guess this is the deciding factor, right? See if we should even bother at this singing thing or just give up and get a normal job." Ash surprised herself at the brutal honesty as to which she spoke, but at this point, what did hiding any of her own insecurities really matter?

Johnny was silent for a long time after the words left her mouth. Hands tightened over the steering wheel as he made yet another turn down a long and winding mountain road.

"…While that's true, I'm sure it'll work out." Johnny sounded a lot more confident than Ash suspected he felt. His quietness after her blurting at Rosita's place was no mere coincidence and it was only after ten minutes of following the mother of 25's car that Ash saw him finally crack a smile (and that was coming from a guy who was rarely without one).

"How can you be so certain?"Ash muttered, "You know as well as I do that Moon could just as easily turn us all down and then what? I'll tell you, we're pretty much screwed." Ash grumbled out, yet again felt like a harbinger of bad news and harsh reality but right now it felt warranted. She hated how she clung to these last rays of hope and was doing everything in her power to drown them out…a part of her grasped so hard to the hope lacing Johnny's accented voice and she tried desperately to shut it up.

"I'm not certain whatsoever." Johnny admitted with a hopeless smile pulling at his mouth and it was an understatement to say Ash was surprised at his honesty, "I just like to be positive."

"No kidding," Ash muttered under her breath, trying not to roll her eyes at the optimism still oozing from him. Luckily, Johnny didn't hear her for Rosita finally turned into open mansion gates along a dead-end street.

Ash stared ahead expecting to find larger dwelling but these were rather humble compared to the gaudy ones down the road. More modern mansion that was still obviously way more vast and expensive than most homes but it wasn't opulent by mansion standards; flat-roofed and obviously ample but nothing what she expected. It was simple and beautiful and a part of her was relieved at the rather tame view confronting them.

Johnny took a few moments to park in a free spot in the mansion's vast grounds behind Rosita.

The truck coming to a stop with a slight screech; Johnny put it into park and exited the vehicle all while Ash awaited Johnny to open her door (she gave it her damnedest to open it herself but to no avail - she'd rather wait than try to embarrass herself again). A few seconds later, Johnny had flung it open and while he did offer his hand again, Ash refused to take it; gingerly climbing down the truck on her own volition. Yeah, she knew she was being stubborn as all hell but if it was the one thing she could control right now -so be it.

Once her feet were firmly planted upon the sidewalk, Ash turned around and saw Johnny waiting for her. His thumbs hooked into his jean pockets and his loose fingers were drumming nervously on his thighs. Ash didn't say anything regarding his obvious trepidation, instead continued past him where he followed her toward Rosita, Gunter, and Meena.

Miss Crawly was waiting nearby in some shade, her Oldsmobile parked a few yards away and Ash wondered how the hell the ancient lizard even procured a license (you know, namely regarding her astronomical age and the fact she only had one functional eye…was that even _legal_?).

"Hello... How is everyone?" Ms. Crawly droned out, her voice shaky as she awaited the approaching group.

"Good." Rosita answered for all of them .

"Why, that's wonderful. So nice to see you all again." Miss Crawly drawled a bit, "Now that we're all here, let's go." she continued before she began slowly walking toward the mansion.

The group looked at each other and the lack of filler but all followed behind Miss Crawly regardless. Ash suddenly felt nauseous as she trailed closely after Johnny's towering form; her gut twisting painfully into knots - damn her nervous stomach…

Everyone was unnaturally silent as they all slowly preceded after Miss Crawly, some looking at the elaborate grounds and nice hedges that were perfectly trimmed. It was hard at least not to appreciate the kind of work that it took to get them in that condition. The house was getting closer and the nervousness was only increasing. Ash was jolted back to reality when they went around the large main mansion and instead, headed back to the rear where a large pool and adjoining house was located.

Ash's brows furrowed at the small pool house when they all suddenly stopped in front of it. Before them, a slightly translucent glass door greeted them and before Ash really understood all that was happening - Miss Crawly knocked on it.

* * *

"Mr. Moon?" Miss Crawly was the first to speak up. Her gentle knocks upon the partially transparent door not doing enough to warrant the occupant on the other side to answer.

Getting frankly sick of his lack of an answer, Ash shouted, " **C'mon** , Moon! You can't hide in your buddy's pool house forever!" Ash ignored the look Johnny flashed her. She didn't care if she was being to harsh, perhaps it was the only thing that would work at this point.

"Yeah! We just want to make sure you're alright! That's all!" Meena chimed in as if trying to cover the bases that they were caring for his welfare.

Ash wasn't so concerned but at least she didn't say otherwise.

It was a good ten seconds before the group heard the barely audible footsteps approach; a shadow about Ash's height appeared right behind the sliding door and within a second, it was open and Buster Moon was suddenly standing before them.

… _and it was not the Buster Moon any of them expected..._

No suit and red bow-tie adorning his small, animated frame. No head held high admist his short height or an unfaltering smile etched across his expressive face, even his ears that were proudly displayed were lowered as he stared up at them with a look of utter defeat on his tired face. Over-sized green tee-shirt swallowing him whole as he stared with slight disdain at the group for being interrupted with whatever he was doing.

Ash looked beyond him for a moment and seen Eddie fast asleep on the couch twenty feet behind the koala. The room was dark other than the colors from a television flashing and dancing across the adjacent wall.

… _damn, it was a depressing sight…_

The group must have felt much of the same because for all of their plans, all of their speeches they had been planning to say to the koala now all died on their lips at seeing the horrible condition of Buster Moon.

"...Hey, Mr. Moon…" Rosita was the first to speak since Buster appeared and the group was silently thankful for her ability to mutter out kind words when they all felt so tongue-tied.

"You okay?" Johnny's voice was the next to ring out compassionately through the warm afternoon air. The genuine tone he spoke with far more tender than anything Ash could have mustered right now.

Ash stared at Buster for a long time (for she was the only one in the same height range after all) seeing if there would be any hope lingering on his face or any happiness whatsoever at seeing them but his face remained blank and Ash was filled with a sudden sense of dread of what was to come.

"Look, guys…I'm sorry about what happened. The prize money, the -" Buster started, his voice a mere whisper to his normal theatrical announcements.

"It's okay -" Rosita interrupted.

" **No** ," Buster butted back in, " _None_ of this is okay." voice sharp and salty but he was still refusing to meet their eyes for longer than a split second.

"At least we're all in one piece." Ash felt herself speak; the words a lot kinder and encouraging than she thought herself capable at this point, but desperate times called for desperate measures and she had to do something to ease the gnawing ache in her gut.

"Yeah, and you know what - I bet we can find some other place to audition! The show must go on…right?" Rosita had so much hope lacing her voice it made you want to believe and cling desperately to every word she said.

"Yeah!" Everyone nodded in agreement, doing everything to encourage the depressed koala.

" _The show…_ " Buster muttered under his breath, eyes straying to his feet before he finally met their eyes and the dullness in those blue eyes was alarming, "…guys, I'm **done**."

"...You serious?" Johnny asked incredulously, his face and shoulders deflating slightly.

"What do you mean, 'you're done'!? **C'mon**!"Ash spoke over the gorilla and they gave each other a quick look before both their attention turned back to the hunched over koala.

"Didn't you _**see**_ this?" Buster asked, pulling up a newspaper from the floor; dated a few weeks ago, "Huh? **Look**. It says I'm a danger to society." he muttered, slapping the paper with the back of his hand.

"NAH!" Gunter tried to intervene.

"- a deluded, washed up Charlatan who's never had a hit in his career…" Buster interrupted, an anger and bitterness leaching into that once bright, hopeful voice.

"Aw, come on you don't believe all that!" Rosita spoke up kindly, her voice so motherly that it was hard not to believe it.

"Yeah…I do." Buster answered, eyes fleeting to the paper in his hand and staring it as if it's fading black ink was verbally mocking him. His eyes met theirs for only a split second before the koala suddenly and swiftly turned away from them; small hand grabbing the door and attempting to slam it closed.

" _Listen_." Johnny spoke gravely, hand reaching out to grab the door and effectively stopping him from closing the glass door in their faces.

Ash was dumbfounded at the direction this tail-spinning conversation was going but was more surprising was how the normally calm Johnny was the one to stop Buster. An unfamiliar stern look appearing on Johnny's face; his brows furrowed and mouth in a firm line. A seriousness lacing his voice she swore the gorilla wasn't capable of yet nothing compared to her shock when the following words started trailing from Johnny's mouth.

"You're not the only one who lost something…we **all** did!" Johnny muttered out and the others nodded in agreement but it appeared as if Johnny wasn't done. His voice rising as he choked out, "I-I mean, I've lost any chance of ever speaking to my dad again over this show." Johnny finished, hand leaving the door to rest on his chest as if emphasizing the struggles and pain held deep inside.

Ash was partially being blocked by the door but when she heard Johnny speak and his words slowly registered into her clouded subconscious - it froze any words that wanted to escape. She did not expect Johnny to say anything for he gave no indication of the horrors of his own life; his own private hell. A life she believed had been sunshine and constant rainbows - for why the hell else could he _possibly_ be so happy all the time!? Yet the agony lacing those words was nothing short of genuine and heart-breaking…her tongue was frozen to the bottom of her mouth.

It was as if the world stopped for a second but apparently, it didn't for Buster.

"I'm sorry." was all Buster said before he successfully pulled the glass closed with a muted thud.

* * *

The door was basically slammed in their face.

Dread that had been building for days was suddenly realized as Ash was forced to stare at the sealed door. Silhouette of Buster long gone from her vision and a burn began in her heaving chest; pain of rejection - one of which she was too familiar with steadily building deep inside her sternum. Rising from anger, betrayal, frustration, the once bright future she had planned were now drowning in hellish flames. Her own words she spoke earlier - about Buster not listening to their pleas and about this being a gigantic waste of time - _**damn**_ , she hated when she was right.

The planning, the speeches, the options, and opportunities they had prepared to convince Buster Moon about ended up meaning jack squat the second that door closed. Buster outright refused to listen to reason and backhandedly them to leave; slamming the transparent sliding door in their face. Basically telling them it was all a waste of time seemed to be the ultimate breaking point for all involved.

Another side of her downright refused to accept that this was it - that whatever the hell this was truly was over. Refused to believe that her dreams about a career in music were crushed and scattered into the wind because of Buster being a stubborn ass. Ash was sorely tempted to go forcefully shove the door open and start physically and verbally wailing on the koala; mostly to ease her own anger at him getting them almost killed in the theater collapse or just for being so damn frustrating in turning them down without them getting much of a word in edgewise but something stopped her in her tracks.

Feet frozen, she looked up at Johnny, one of only four still standing there and a flash of utter despair flooding his expression told her more than she cared to.

_She'd never seen him look like that._

Ash held her breath - anger seeping in as she wanted desperately to pull that glass door open and speak her mind to Buster but seeing Johnny (who had been by her side through it all) suddenly walked away. Before she could speak in any hopes to halt him in his tracks, Johnny had turned and left. The rest of the group, sans Meena, silently scattered as well.

Tongue still frozen in her mouth, Ash followed Johnny much like a moth to the flame; leaving Meena to stand alone by that door.

* * *

At first, Ash swore the only reason she was walking him was because he was her ride.

_That was all._

She refused to acknowledge the jittery condition of her heart or how her palms felt clammy whenever he was around. Hated how unconditionally kind he was especially recalling how rather rude she'd treated him on a fair number of occasions thus far. It wasn't so much as blatantly mean, rather just inconsiderate or indifferent to his questions and presence in the wake of her own depression.

As he approached his black truck, Johnny suddenly stopped.

Feet that had been dragging slightly were now completely still and it was only a positive twist of fate that she did not run straight into his ass. They were near the curb at this point and Ash still wanted to go and give Moon a piece of her mind (or fist) but something urgently refuted her desire to go back.

Within a second, Johnny had stepped off the curb and plopped unceremoniously upon the sidewalk (it looked almost as if it hurt but Johnny didn't seem bothered by it whatsoever).

Ash fell silent for a moment, still lost in some kind of bizarre limbo she was completely unfamiliar with. Ash felt a lot taller from this position (nearly up to his collarbones) and it was rather uncomfortable but she refused to sit next to him either.

"Sorry." Johnny suddenly spoke, normally chipper voice felt choked and small - Ash didn't like it one bit. "I-I don't think I'm up to driving just yet." he continued, position slouched and eyes steadfast on the asphalt between his parted feet.

Ash swallowed back a retort, her heart fluttering further about her chest. There he went apologizing about something so mundane and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

"It's fine. It's not as if we have anywhere to be now." Ash's tongue suddenly began working; ignoring the jittering in her body by kicking lightly at the few rocks on the sidewalk.

Looking upon her surroundings and trying to calm her frantic heartbeat and pain of rejection so fresh in her chest, Ash watched Miss Crawly slowly get into her car. The elderly lizard's head lowered and back hunched even more than usual before the car veered down the road like a bat outta hell. Ignoring how an ancient lizard was able to get her license was beyond her. Further down the block where Rosita was getting into her car with Gunter, the two pigs disturbingly quiet as they climbed in.

Ash felt tempted to call out to them, to keep them in conversation for the sheer opportunity to feel the least bit better about this entire situation even if she doubted it would help. The words died on her tongue as the car ignited with a soft purr and was gone.

The porcupine swallowed back the voice that wanted to escape and looked back at Johnny, the barest hints of her voice coming back when she felt the ground began to shake underneath her tiny feet. Flinching at what she thought was an earthquake at first was answered when Meena suddenly barreled back to her grandfather's van, the young teen obviously distraught and holding back tears. The elephant letting out a sad whine as she threw the van open and got inside; her hands and ears covering her face before Ash could even get a good look at her.

Within seconds, they too were gone and her and Johnny were all that were left.

A silence that she was far too accustomed to bothered her immensely. Taking in Johnny's facade, a desperation to stay in one piece, and it didn't belong. Something continually daunted her though, and that was his words he spoke. So much confusion as to what he meant by them were the most prevalent thing in her mind - more than her anger, frustration, and dashed hopes were his broken words. Could scarcely fathom them leaking from his mouth - from someone who was so positive even in the worst of times. At first, she refused to say a word, trying to keep Johnny at an arm's length and her heart a barrier of ice. Tried her damnedest to stay selfish to her own problems but one glance at his face, the deep furrow of his brow and the sadness that didn't belong...

_...it became too much..._

Before Ash could even second-guess herself or stop the words from escaping her mouth, she blurted out, "...W-What do you mean that you lost any chance to speak to your dad again?"

* * *

 


	12. Disclosure - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash learns more about Johnny and the life she could have never fathomed he lived…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this sooner but it takes awhile for these to come together the way I want. Thanks again for your patience and constant support! It means more to me than you know! <3
> 
> Also, I apologize but I had to separate this chapter into two parts because of sheer length. It was either that or wait as much as two week until I finish the second part so I thought y'all would appreciate if I broke it up instead. ;-3

* * *

"...W-What do you mean that you lost any chance to speak to your dad again?" Ash knew she shouldn't have asked something of the sort but the words came out anyway.

It felt so unbearably personal and she was well aware that she hadn't given any thought to his life outside of the few interactions they had. Didn't even bother to know him more than the soulful, kind competitor, and good acquaintance (…friend?) he had been to her thus far. It felt so strange to now be asking him a part of his life that he'd hidden behind joyful smiles and gently spoken words for God knows how long. A part of himself he obviously hid for a good reason and it was only the desperation to get Moon to speak that he'd probably said it at all. Johnny spoke out about a part of his life he wanted no one to know about but he did so believing it would help Moon get back on his feet and agree to continue the competition the group had grown to rely on…sadly, to no avail.

Now, here he sat and she stood on this road neither of them belonged. Surrounded by opulent mansions, tall and astounding; worth more money than they could ever imagine making in a lifetime. Pondering a life both had envisioned for themselves now scattered to an unforgiving wind. Forced to live with their past decisions and accept a future neither expected they'd be forced to live with…Two people who didn't know each other existed a mere month ago…

_It was all just so strange._

After a long silence, Ash felt tempted to retract her statement; brush it off like she was known to do. Say something poignantly laughable and ironic to break the mood but it didn't seem like the time nor the place…and that devastated look plaguing Johnny's normally cheerful demeanor was becoming rather difficult to ignore.

Nevertheless, Ash's mouth opened; ready to speak something, _anything_ to get him to talk about a topic other than his problems…but something stopped her.

 _Ash_ _**wanted** _ _to know._

Sure, it felt useless to begin learning more about this soulful singer, this guy who'd been kinder to her than she frankly deserved. No amount of speaking now would change the fact whatever this was…was now over. Yet, she still felt as if she deserved some kind of clarification as to what he meant when he spoke out loud for all to hear, so he should have expected at least someone to question it. That someone just happened to be her.

It felt somewhat warranted to at least get some answers - or even just fill the deafening silence ringing in her ears.

Another, brasher side of her was tempted to simply brush off his somber mood and tell him to get over it and drive her home…but that didn't sound good either. Time was all she had now and Ash strongly doubted going home to a lonely apartment was better than this...at least here - she wasn't alone.

With that thought of accepting whatever fate was brought on by all of this shifting sands of circumstance - Ash plopped down on the curb next to him; skirt flitting about with the wind of shifting gravity before puddling on the gray cement. The ground pleasantly cool against her leggings, Ash found Johnny's silence rather fitting now. Allowing the sounds of wind and nature calming as her icy blue eyes flitted lethargically around the area as she awaited for Johnny to answer her question…or not. The silence here was better than what lay waiting back at home for her.

Yet it didn't take long for the silence to become almost deafening. It really hit hard that all the others were indeed gone; leaving without a single word (Meena's sad wail not counting) and Ash felt a sharp twinge of pain accompanying that thought. Doubt she'd never see them again weighed more heavily on her heart than she cared to admit.

Hated to accept the fact she would… _kinda miss it all._

Heading to the Moon Theater those few times, hearing Buster doing morning announcements and the sound of his small feet frantically running back and forth. Miss Crawly's tail dragging slowly and gentle voice asking her if she wanted a muffin as she presented her a plate full of various kinds. Meena's awkward wave and quietly muttered words muffled behind her huge ears. Rosita's gentle, motherly demeanor and encouraging words (not to mention Gunter's interesting insults aimed at her slimy ex) that saved her a lot of heartache that morning after Lance cheated on her.

… _and Johnny…_

Ash's body tensed a bit as she looked over at said gorilla; his profile hadn't changed as he continually lost himself inside his head. A blank stare remaining stagnant on his face as her own mind flitted about with every instance she had with him thus far. From the briefest recollection of exchanging glances with him as he sat on the stairs reading the paper to when he moved in front of her to block her (effectively protecting her by putting himself at risk) when the Moon Theater fell in a heap of dust and rubble…

It only hit now that whatever this was…was truly over.

Buster refusing to answer them, to accept their offers of forgiveness and a chance to move beyond all this, but he didn't listen. A career, a life she hoped for, was now dashed like dust into the wind and a part of her wondered why she even bothered to ask Johnny such a personal question - especially now of all times. Questioning why the hell she was trying to learn more about Johnny when it would end up being in vain - after today, she would never see him again. Only sink herself deeper into this hole she'd dug for herself. Allowing this guy to have credence over some part of her life and mind; essentially letting him in and learning more about him would only make forgetting him (and the rest of the group) harder as time went on.

Yet, since the others left, Buster was in no mood to face them, and she _really_ didn't care to head back to sulk in her empty apartment, Ash thought she'd take her chances. Resolute in the decision to leave her statement in the air, Ash glanced over to Johnny and she didn't like what she saw. The question still remaining up in the air for more than five minutes, Johnny's face suddenly tensed up; an expression that didn't happen often on his face. He was either wearing a look of nervousness, shock, or that casual, kind smile...

_This look simply didn't fit._

Johnny seemed… _broken_ somehow; like a part of that loving and caring personality was partially snuffed out - perhaps never to be regained. It bothered her more than she cared to admit. He'd been partially an enigma to her, one she would prefer to leave at an arm's length but it didn't seem to be working out that way. Circumstance and speculation, perhaps even fate seemed to be changing the tides of whatever was happening between them. Pushing them together and forcing her to learn more, to get to know him more by simple association and time spent in his calming presence.

Ash was starting to not fight it anymore even if she kept her walls up.

Terrified of these strange feelings welling up inside of her ever since she met him. An inkling of curiosity transforming into something she dared not ponder. Kindness he bestowed on her when she received precious little in her life. Ash felt herself drawn to his positivity; to rely on his never ending optimism even if it was something that drove her to the brink of insanity. Ash learned to never rely on anything for it will eventually let her down but it was so damn hard not to just cling to Johnny's gentle, kind words and ever-present smile…

Eventually, a resolute sigh left Johnny's mouth; large hands folding and unfolding in his lap as he continually stared at the cement between his feet.

Ash, surprised at the sudden movement, glanced down. Gazing at his hands and inwardly marveled at just how large they were, the look of his gray skin and recalling the few times she took his hand and felt the texture of his smooth, thick skin underneath her paw. Just how different it felt and looked than fur…before catching herself and looking away to her own lap. That was much less interesting and kept her mind on track.

After today, she would _never_ see Johnny again so why the hell as she ogling his _hands_ for fuck's sake?! Just what the hell had gotten into her!?

Taking a few scattered seconds to calm her heart and mind, she reasoned was just exhausted. It'd been a very few stressful days…week, month - that's all it was. Feeling a bit better with that lame excuse Ash let out a sigh and it was only now Johnny decided to answer her question.

"M-My dad…" Johnny muttered thickly after a long, terse silence; voice cutting through the silence as if physically sliced with a knife, "…he's in jail…and he hates me because I'm the reason he's there at all..."

At first, Ash was merely surprised he spoke whatsoever but it was was so minuscule to the impact of the words he spoke. No reply even being fathomed as she openly peered at him; thin brows creased heavily at his words. If she was expecting anything, that sure wasn't it. She expected them to be fighting over money, career choices, or just stupid stuff kids argue with their parents about on a daily basis…but _**jail**_?!

…and to blame your own son for being there?

There were so many questions she had resting on the tip of her tongue. 'What's he doing there?', 'Why the hell would he blame you?', 'Did _you_ do something wrong?' 'What happened?'. Yet none ever came out before Johnny abruptly continued.

"I guess I feel partially responsible even thought I know what he was doing was wrong… but I…I didn't _mean_ to get him caught…I really didn't intend for that to happen at all..."

"...What happened?" Ash found herself asking.

Johnny's mouth opened as if to answer but before any words could escape, it closed. Instead, he looked around for a moment as if scouting out for potential eavesdroppers but all that he saw was rustling tree branches and empty streets.

Once he was seemingly satisfied no one but her could hear, Ash couldn't help but flinch when the gorilla's chestnut brown eyes suddenly met hers. Peering into her as he'd never done before and for the first time she could recall, she felt positively vulnerable; as if he could see directly inside her tattered soul. Ash didn't care for that feeling but didn't detest it either. They flitted about her face for a bit as if reading her or her intentions and doing so must have calmed him immensely because before she knew it, his eyes left hers. Johnny's shoulders had slumped forward and he began speaking out the answers she'd asked for.

"My dad planned a heist - not unusual for he did many times before; stealing gold, jewels, and other valuables from various shipments or businesses. He'd been doing it almost immediately since we moved here to America." Johnny admitted with a nervous shrug; large hand scratching the back of his head as she noticed the flush to his cheeks as he struggled to meet her gaze.

A question on the tip of her tongue was silenced when Johnny again continued.

"I-I _knew_ it was wrong ever since I was a kid but he asked things of me that I **had** to do! He's my dad and a son is supposed to honor his father and I did it in hopes that maybe - just _maybe_ , he'd stop… Perhaps he'd finally steal himself enough money to keep himself happy for the rest of his life and to quit getting himself into this dangerous situations! ... _Just like the one at the docks..._ " Johnny explained and for Ash, it was as if a light went off in her head.

Recalling that moment she walked past Johnny reading that paper all those weeks ago. Catching the smallest glimpse of the headline news: "Gang Leader Arrested!". Below was a picture of a gorilla (who looked remarkably like Johnny when she thought about it) wearing an orange jumpsuit, and now, it all began to make sense…Yet that was right around their second audition…he'd been living with it this whole time and never said a single word?

"Wait...The gang leader that was arrested, right?" Ash spoke for clarification.

Johnny froze for a bit, eyes widening in realization of the paper she must have seen before a resolute sigh left his lips.

"Yeah. That was him…" he softly admitted.

"B-But wait! That doesn't explain why he blames _you_ for him being there! It sounds like it was his decision to go rob the joint - not yours!" Ash stated matter-of-factly and Johnny flinched at her brutal honesty.

"... I know…but he-he had this idea that I should join his gang, go on heists with him and my uncles - and I did. I was a lookout mainly just to warn them of any police or witnesses, but that night my father insisted I play a bigger role! So during the heist at the docks, _I_ was supposed to be the getaway driver…" Johnny shrugged, face falling as he basically blurted out his involvement but to Ash that didn't mean anything. He saw she didn't even seem to care he admitted a criminal involvement, just waited patiently for him to continue.

So he did.

"But…I never wanted that. All my life, I wanted to be a singer but I knew he never would allow it, so I did it behind his back. I went to the auditions and once accepted, I-I came back to perform when I was supposed to be there for my dad **\- a-and now he's in jail because of it!** " Johnny loudly muttered out the last part, shoulders trembling a bit as he collapsed on himself.

Ash wasn't sure what to think when she witnessed tears building in his brown eyes; a sadness that did not belong on his face and frankly, looked damn out of place. Johnny was far too bright and positive for such sadness to have any part in his life…and to think he'd been living with it all this time…

"I wasn't there when I should have been. I screwed up and now he's in jail." Johnny reiterated as if punishing himself with the words. Really believing he was at fault when to Ash it sounded as if Johnny did nothing wrong.

"How was that _your_ fault?"

"I should have been there…yet here I wanted to do this for me…maybe I was just selfish showing him I could be a singer even if he never wanted me to be. Heh. And now, we both have nothing…" Johnny chuckled mirthlessly; eyes welling with tears that had Ash's heart and chest trembling at the sight of them. Pushing those thoughts away, Ash quickly changed the subject.

"What's wrong with doing something for yourself though?" Ash asked and she wished she could have asked her past self that same question a long time ago. For so long it was all about her and Lance when all this time, she should have been more selfish and perhaps she wouldn't have been stuck under his oppressing thumb for five damn years. The thought of it had familiar pain welling up that she tried to push down but it wasn't working anymore.

Johnny didn't answer. Appeared as if there was a million and one things he was tempted to say in retaliation of her accusing question but he said none of them.

"I'll tell you then - there's _nothing_ wrong with going out and doing something you want. You shouldn't let anyone hold you back from that - not even your parents. Heh. _**Believe**_ me." Ash chuckled, silently recalling her own discussion with her overbearing mother and how many times they argued over Ash's chosen profession. Causing a rift and disagreement that had her moving in with Lance by the time she was only 16.

"B-But...My dad's all I have." Johnny explained, leaving so many questions about his mother unanswered when he suddenly continued, "I-I went to the jail. I _tried_ to tell him how I felt…Tried my hardest to explain my absence and the fact of how truly sorry I was that it happened that way. I-I **tried** , Ash. I really did. I even explained how I never wanted to be a part of his gang - how I wanted to be a singer…"

"...You did?" Ash asked, amazed at how he was willing to confront his father after all of this. He was a lot braver than her who just moved out in the middle of the night and refused to talk to her mother for months afterward.

"Yeah…and he said, ' _how did I end up with a son like you?_ '…" Johnny softly admitted, a single tear slipping down his cheek and Ash watched it disappear into the fur lining his face. "…and ever since then, I go to the jail every day…but he refuses to see me…Every. Single. Day… I go to see him; sometimes waiting for hours in line, setting up appointments just to get a turn to talk to him - but he never shows up." Johnny whispered and Ash barely heard it.

Ash's mouth fell open slightly. Couldn't fathom the pain of utter rejection he must feel. How alone he must be in all of this; his echoing of his father being all he had haunted her now.

"I-I needed that money from winning the competition to get him out or hire a lawyer or something," he whimpered before catching himself and clearing his throat before continuing, "…but…that's not going to happen now. There's no way he's ever going to want to speak to me again. Rightly so I s'ppose..."

_All this time…she never knew._

… _ **No one did.**_

Icy blue eyes filling with unshed tears as she recalled all the prior weeks. Never once did Johnny complain; only working harder, playing piano all hours of the night, and being his normal sweet self. To realize that all that time, his father was in jail and Johnny had been in turmoil over it all. Those weeks as in which she was less than cordial to him; ignoring him and being short with him when he'd speak with her. Sometimes being her inadvertent shoulder to lean on… All his kind gestures he'd done for her; saving her life, helping her up, patching up her ankle, bringing her guitar, driving her places without nary a complaint or asking for anything in return. Lack of money he never complained about; hiding behind smiles and kind words throughout it all…

While behind closed doors, his life was in utter shambles.

To come to realize that Johnny was not in it for the money, nor to make himself famous or buy fancy material possessions… _it was to save his father…_

Johnny's desires for the prize were so selfless and caring; so unlike her own selfish desires to have the chance to rub it in Lance's face. As hard as she believed she had it, she had a mom and dad (while not together) were still only a phone call or short bus ride away. This sweet guy had his father and uncles thrown in prison probably never to be released considering their crimes. No mother as far as she knew, no other family there for him. Just him living alone without any source of steady income. Recalling the generic cheap food in those paper bags, unable to buy petrol for his truck…All while her own apartment was nice and warm; a bank account that could cover rent, bills, and food a for decent amount of time.

All her little emotional ex-boyfriend troubles were virtually _nothing_ in comparison…

Yet, Johnny never complained, openly cried, threw a hissy fit, or even got angry or frustrated like she had done multiple times this past month. Instead, he'd been a constant source of support and positiveness that often rubbed her the wrong way because how could anyone be this way?! She assumed his life was perfect and he had no problems and was only an obstacle for her own prize.

… _and to think that all this time…_

"Ash! Don't cry!" Johnny exclaimed suddenly and that was the only time when she realized tears were indeed trickling down her face. "Please. Really, it's alright. _I'm_ alright. I-I shouldn't have said _anything_! T-They're my problems - I really shouldn't have -"

Ignoring the wall she built and cold demeanor she attempted to keep up, she found it crumbling to the floor in a heap and before she was even fully aware of what she was doing - she hugged him.

* * *

 


	13. Disclosure - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> …and perhaps Johnny learns more about Ash in the process…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your constant support! All the faves, follows, kudos, and especially the comments always make me smile! Hope you enjoy. xoxo

* * *

It took all of three seconds for Ash to realize what she had done.

Blind panic setting in, Ash abruptly yanked herself back and away from Johnny. Frantically scooting across the cement where her skirt and leggings caught on the bumpy, rough asphalt beneath her rump; probably loosening a few seams in the process. All the while, Ash silently began cursing her brief lapse in judgment and abnormal actions; eyes widened and staring at Johnny, who had the same surprised expression she was undoubtedly wearing right now.

 _Just where the_ **hell** _had that come from?!_

Ash sat in stunned silence, chest heaving with frantic breaths and confusion as to what had gotten into her in first place. It was as if for those few brief seconds, she wasn't even in complete control of her body; rather allowing her pent up frustrations and emotions cater to her physical movements. Sure, his story was downright heart-breaking and tragic; the situation with his father's coldness toward Johnny bothered her immensely considering how he didn't allow it to get him down… but outright hugging him?!

 _Seriously_?

 **Her?!** \- the very embodiment/poster child of the prickly porcupine - the who _never_ bothered to hug anyone let alone a guy she barely knew?!

Ash stared wide-eyed at him for quite some time; taking notice of his elevated right arm that appeared to attempt to curl around her as if to perhaps return the hug - or at least that's what it looked like. She watched as he gingerly lowered it back to his side while wearing a rather embarrassed expression. If only he knew the amount of embarrassment she was feeling at this moment would overwhelm whatever his was.

Hell, even Johnny was staring back at her as if she'd grown two heads - probably questioning as to what she was going to say or do next that was completely out of character for the rebellious rocker.

_Ash wasn't even certain of what she would do anymore._

"I-I'm sorry…" she finally gasped out like a fish out of water, "I _really_ didn't mean to do that…I swear I di- " hands up in an almost surrender as she spoke.

"It's okay!" Johnny was quick to speak out and interrupt whatever the hell she was attempting to apologize for. "I-It's fine…" Johnny's gaze fell from hers for a second; appearing almost… _disappointed?_ …what that meant she didn't care to ponder long so she dutifully ignored it.

Instead, Ash yanked her eyes away from that kind chestnut gaze; icy eyes refusing to acknowledge Johnny's questioning stare and questions he undoubtedly had about her strange behavior.

Feeling more than anxious, Ash stood to her feet. Not caring to notice how Johnny glanced over at her as she paced a few steps away and back again; her eyes frozen to her feet and the cement she treaded over. In these long, terse moments, all Ash could frustratingly think about was that brief hug.

Three measly seconds of her small fingers digging into the soft, worn leather jacket that easily creased under her touch. Face buried into his green jumper; the fabric pressing gingerly on her cheek as she squeezed him as hard as her tiny arms allotted. Even the small nuances of his scent still permeated her nostrils, warm, woodsy and strangely comforting… a glimpse of his heat pressed against her cheek and within those short moments, she found herself filled with contradiction. In that strange and out of character (for her anyway) moment, she wanted to apologize for her own behavior to him thus far; to offer to help regarding his situation even if it seemed out of the range of possibility…yet it didn't matter for the words simply wouldn't come. Ash didn't trust herself to speak; preferring to hide her face in his firm chest rather than facing his questions and trusting eyes.

Then it all came to a sudden halt when she had come to realize what she'd done.

Hugging him out of virtually nowhere like some kind of demented, needy individual. For being so cold to him thus far and for her to go out and embrace him for no other reason than she felt sorry for his situation and circumstance. How he held such unimaginable pain behind that kind smile and sweet demeanor and how genuine it was. It was as if her body did it of its own accord; that the walls she steadily built up around her heart shattered for merely a second. The side of her that wanted to keep the gorilla (and everyone else for that matter) at an arm's length seemingly didn't matter anymore…

Ash was more terrified than she could ever imagine being at that revelation. Could scarcely recall a moment when she allowed her emotions to control her like that…because that's all this was… _wasn't it?_

"I'm sorry." Ash spoke out as if to quell these rampant thoughts; to change the subject and hopefully quell this nausea boiling in her gut. "Ya know…about your dad."

If Johnny was surprised by the change in conversation, he didn't say anything. Spared her a simple glance over at her standing form and gave her back a small, non-reciprocated smile before replying.

"...Oh. Uh - thanks…" his voice a mere whisper when he finished.

"Yeah..." Ash kicked lightly at the scattered pebbles near her feet; doing anything to possible keep her mind occupied. Ash was lost in her own head for a moment when she heard him sniffle a bit; he tried to hide but she heard anyway. Accepting of her fate, she watched in barely withheld sadness as he wiped his wet eyes. Guilt and actual emotion were things she wasn't prepared to confront. She didn't know Johnny existed just over a month ago and it shocked her how much it truly saddened her to see him cry.

_Ash hated it…_

"I-I'm sure it'll work out." Ash shrugged; still finding it rather difficult to meet his eyes.

Johnny's questioning stare asked her what she meant without him having to say a word.

"...You know, you're a good singer." small shoulders shrugged while admitting it, "I-I bet if you wanted, you can earn money around town doing that. That way you're semi-living the dream and earning money for your dad's lawyer. Maybe then, he'll take your dream more seriously." Ash suggested; inwardly cringing at her own advice - she should be the last one giving advice about parental relationships when her own was in tatters.

"Thanks… M-Maybe that'll work." Johnny seemed to appreciate the compliment but when she mentioned his father, she saw the flash of emotion in his expressive eyes.

It was a good few moments before Johnny spoke again.

"Listen…" Johnny swallowed before continuing, "I'm sorry to drag you into this. It was my problem - I should have kept it to myself…"

"No." Ash spoke almost too suddenly.

"..." Johnny's brow ridges creased; his eyes slipping to hers with a questioning gaze.

"I was the one who asked - you just answered and for whatever the hell it's worth…I'm kinda glad you did. Really looked like you needed to get it off your chest…Helps to talk about it sometimes…" Ash shrugged, tempted to sit down next to him but held back, worried she'd do something crazy like hug him again.

"Thanks." Johnny muttered, running the back of his hand across his face.

"...Wait - what? You're thanking me? Heh. What for?" Ash chuckled louder than intended.

Legitimately confused as to what Johnny could possibly thank her for. In actuality, she was the one who should have been thanking him for everything he'd done for her in the short month they'd known each other. From giving her a ride to the moment he saved her life by blocking her with his own body from potentially fatal debris during the theater collapse.

" _Listening_ …I-I never told anyone about this part of my life. You're actually the first." Johnny shrugged and Ash noticed a soft flush scattered about his cheekbones; Ash hating how her stomach twisted at the sight of it.

"...why me?"

"I dunno. You're just easy to talk to I s'ppose." Johnny replied and Ash really didn't believe it. Her whole life, she'd been the animal hardly anyone wanted to associate with given her actual spikes covering her head and back, dark clothing, resting bitch face, and rather prickly personality (pun not intended).

…and for Johnny to think she was _approachable_? It would be laughable had he not said it so genuinely.

"Are you shitting me?" she asked and Johnny's eyes widened at her sudden curse.

"W-What?"

"I mean, you've gotta be joking!"

"What do you mean?"

"Aw, come on. I'm not exactly an approachable animal by _any_ stretch of the imagination."

"...why would you say that?"

"Aw, come on. I'm moody, literally covered in spikes, and I haven't been exactly nice to you since we've met." Ash felt as if she was rehashing a line. Recalling all of Lance's less than kind words to her over the years. Telling her to back off while he scored the gigs because she came off as unlikable or unapproachable; even downright rude. Ash recalled arguing with him about that saying he acted much of the same way but he excused himself saying he did it as a laid-back charm while she didn't possess that…

"It doesn't seem that way to me. You may have been a bit standoffish but that's to be expected between strangers. But since I've gotten to know you a bit more, I'd say you're a very nice person, Ash. If you weren't, you wouldn't have cried for me after hearing 'bout my dad..."

Ash froze for a moment under his intense gaze. It was as if she just felt the wetness gathered on her lashes and cheeks. Nearly slapping herself for not even bothering to wipe her face on her sleeve! For a second, she did just that before turning to him and clinging to anger before replying.

"It's been a long month, alright?" she defended her actions, hating to seem weak by crying. "And we just turned down by Buster and any hope of a career is kaput so tears were bound to happen eventually. You just caught me at the right time is all." she excused her behavior nervously and Johnny just smiled.

"...Regardless, I think you're very kind, Ash."

"Heh. If you say so." Ash muttered, eyes rolling a bit. Eventually straying from him as she lost herself to her thoughts.

The quietness that flooded the air this time around seemed a lot more calm. Not as tense and unsettling at it had been before they started this strange, albeit it rather…interesting conversation.

"Perhaps we should be going." Johnny's gentle voice barely disturbed the relaxing silence. Ash peered over at him to where he brushed his sleeve back to take a quick glance at his watch.

"Yeah..." Ash agreed but neither made a move to the truck. Didn't even attempt an inch toward the vehicle; neither vacating the spot they resided; both filled with trepidation on heading back even if it was only now someone opened up about it.

"It's-It's weird going back to an empty house." Johnny sighed, his statement didn't match the statement before so it felt as if it was thought out loud.

…Ash froze for a second, the familiarity with that statement hit her and she realized that perhaps her and Johnny had more in common than she thought.

"Yeah...Couldn't agree more.." Ash said before she even was aware the words left.

Eyes straying toward Johnny when he suddenly moved. The gorilla looking over at her as if something just dawned on him.

"Oh! T-That's right. Your boyfriend, right?" Johnny muttered out and a strange emotion flicked through his eyes but Ash didn't quite catch it.

" **EX** -boyfriend." Ash was sure to correct with a grunt; sudden anger at this whole damn situation rearing its ugly head. "…and yeah, I kicked his ass out."

"I'm sorry - that must have been hard. H-He um, was the porcupine that was with you at audition, right?"

"Yeah. That's him." Ash growled out.

"...ya mean the one that kept trying to convince you to not come back?" Johnny asked, voice grumbling the words and Ash's eyes widened and she stared over at him. Johnny flinched back at her imposing stare and questioning gaze; falling back on himself as if he didn't intend to say those words by how he was reacting.

Ash's brows furrowed, recalling that tense moment after she was accepted and Lance denied.

Lance's mutter of _"…What?"_ as if it was the most shocking thing he'd ever heard.

Ash was more or less in shock, and if she could recall correctly, she said the exact same thing.

Questioning if she heard right and Buster had indeed wanted her and not Lance. Anger rising in her at Buster for not choosing both of them was short lived when Lance started to get really angry. Acting so damn insulted at the fact she was chosen over him; yanking her out of there by telling her it wasn't worth it. The fine cracks that had been growing over the course of their relationship were spreading like wildfire; this fine veneer slowly shattering when she came to realize Lance was not happy for her. Was willing for her to throw away such an amazing opportunity in the trash simply because he was not chosen. Called her a sell-out later on to discourage her from going…

Ash initially allowed him to pull her out of there; agreeing with Lance verbally but staring back at Buster; sheer astonishment that perhaps…he saw something in her no one else did before….

_Not even her…_

To think back and realize that moment had played out in front of Johnny and a room full of strangers.

Ash finally faced Johnny; her arms crossing as she stared at his profile, "Wait...You saw that?" she muttered out as almost an afterthought.

"...It was kind of hard not to notice." Johnny answered, face turned away from her and rather far off to his right.

Ash really wasn't sure how to respond; uncertain as to what, if anything, that meant.

"...if you don't mind me asking - what exactly happened between you two?" Johnny's voice cut through the terse silence and although it was prying and not something she was particularly happy with discussing with Johnny; Ash supposed he deserved an answer. The guy bared his soul to her so what was wrong with answering this rather easy question?

"Heh. Other than him being an obsessive control-freak and dickishly cheating on me after five years together? Eh - not much to tell." Ash shrugged, her eyes straying from Johnny and off to the distance before she could elaborate further.

"We dated for almost two years before moving in together. Three years and many failed gigs later, we auditioned for Moon's show. You know how that went. Anyway, he tried to coerce me into giving it up but I didn't want to. So, going against his wishes, I decided to do something for us - to win the competition and open a studio. Yet, one night after auditions, I came home…where I found him with some chick we knew back in high school." Ash swallowed thickly, that night painfully flashing in her head yet she continued.

"Long story short, he basically threw away our entire relationship because he was fucking petty that he didn't get chosen and deciding to take it out on me by finding someone else…So, I threw his ass out." Ash muttered out; hating how her relationship with Lance could be fit into a few painful sentences and feel somewhat complete.

_It said a lot about how stupid all of it was…_

"..." Johnny was completely silent. So much so Ash peered up at him and seen a look of anger she didn't expect; it had her stomach fluttering for reasons she didn't care to ponder.

"Well, that's about it..." she book-ended it; eyes slipping to the ground.

"So, let me get this straight - y-you're a wonderful singer and guitarist who _deserved_ to get chosen and he was bloody upset that you're better than him? It should have been fairly obvious." Ash's eyes widened a bit at the compliment; hardly recalling the last person to ever blatantly tell her she was a formidable singer and outright better than Lance. She supposed she had just gotten used to Lance's demands of her to keep it down to even be confident in her own voice.

"I just don't get it...How could he do that to ya?" Johnny asked a moment later; barely even bothered hiding the obvious anger in his British voice. She could tell he probably wanted to speak further but kept silent to allow her time to answer.

Ash shrugged, "…I wish I knew…" hating how her voice broke near the end as familiar pain welled up deep inside of her.

"I mean, ya said you dated him for five years - and he cheats on you just because of that?! If he was your boyfriend and cared for you, he should 'ave been happy for ya! Supported you one hundred percent not go out to find someone else! Who does that!?" Johnny muttered out and Ash flinched a bit at how ridiculous she felt in this.

How stupid and blind she felt now when during her relationship with Lance is was so obvious because when Johnny spoke of being happy for her and supporting her…Lance was never any of that.

"The warning signs were there all along. I just ignored them I guess; just a naive girl who really thought he loved me." Ash shrugged it off, "Hindsight is 2020 after all…" she could have, should have said more but she didn't in fear of losing it. The pain was still so fresh and she feared that the slightest nick could start that scab bleeding all over again.

It was a few moments before Johnny spoke up, "'m sorry you had to go through that, Ash. Must make it hard to trust anyone - especially if someone you thought you knew for five years could do that to ya."

Ash furrowed her brows at that statement, sparing a glance over at him to where he was looking out over the beautiful scenery in front of them.

"All that time I was with him, he made it his mission to put me down while at the same time making it seem like he gave a crap. He never did. Kept telling me to pipe down and any fame I got was because of him - so many gigs he played where no producers called him - he claimed it was because I was holding him back. Ugh…" Ash muttered out, surprised at her lack of filter at this moment but she didn't care.

It felt as if her entire career was already grumbled and blowing around in the wind anyway, so what the hell did it matter if Johnny knew any of this? It felt almost like a release button much like with Rosita; except instead of crying like a sad-sack, she was more frustrated and pissed than anything. It was a nice change.

"I think he was the one holding you back." Johnny's words were soft, accent thicker than usual as he spoke them.

If Ash was surprised at that statement, she didn't allow it to show. Mind flitting about to Lance's harsh words over the years; pushing her to the background as if she was just lucky to be there in the presence of his "musical genius". That if they made it anywhere, it was because of his talent and not her own…

It went on for so long that she began to believe it. Yet Buster saw through Lance's act; saw straight through the bullshit to see something she believed even Lance acknowledged and feared…

_Ash didn't need him._

All Lance did was control her and control her damn well but she never needed him to succeed. Hell, it appeared even Johnny saw through the facade she was so certain about for all those years.

_**Damn** , did she feel stupid…_

"...Yeah. I know." Ash muttered out instead. Not trusting herself to say much more to elaborate but appreciating his words nonetheless. "I'm much better off without him even if none of this worked out in the end - at least if I _do_ make anything of myself-"

"You will." Johnny spoke with more assurance than she felt about anything at this moment. For a split second she met his eyes and knew immediately that perhaps Johnny was right.

"...I'll do it on my own." she finished her thought and Johnny smiled at her.

For a few more moments, silence was allowed to reign. A comfortable, relaxing time. Just the two of them listening to the sounds of nature and soft wind flitting about; calmness and gentle ease of each others presence comforting even if neither would admit it.

"I-I'm _glad_ the cheating asshole is gone but it's still weird being alone. I never lived alone before and it's just an adjustment."Ash brought it back to the whole thing that started this conversation. She hated to admit she felt lonely in that empty apartment. Even if Lance was a cheater and deserved no sympathy or redemption, Ash admitted she'd gotten used to at least having someone there when she went home. Not just white walls and humming electricity and the droning of the television to fill the deafening silence.

"...Yeah…It is." Johnny agreed with a shrug, "You're just used to being greeted going home - now it's just quiet."

"Not in the good way either."

"Heh. Yeah."

There was a shift in that moment.

A familiarity neither had felt in quite some time. Almost a comfort to have someone to talk to. So much so, Ash allowed herself to sit next to him again; realizing the hug was most likely a one time thing and she didn't plan a repeat performance.

Ash sat there - not necessarily thinking about anything right now. Just allotting the sounds and scenes of nature to overtake her senses - to breathe in the cool air and warm sun still glistening down on her fur. She had to admit - Eddie and Buster had quite the view up here. Much better than crowded streets and cars honking all hours of the day and night; there was no peace out her window - but here…

"Well…shall we?" Johnny suddenly asked whilst standing to his feet, "I think my bum fell asleep."

"Heh. Mine too." she chuckled and froze when Johnny suddenly offered his hand.

Ash just stared up for him for a moment - the weight in her chest feeling lighter even if the circumstances didn't change one bit. Whataya know? Talking about it _had_ helped and she felt…closer to this guy somehow. If she liked that feeling or not - she couldn't tell you.

With slight hesitation, Ash took his hand.

* * *

 


	14. Adrift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny drives Ash home and they discuss what other options, if any, they both have left for their respective futures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you how thank you enough for all of your comments, faves, follows, kudos, etc. You guys are awesome! xoxo Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"So…do you know what you're gonna do? About your dad, I mean." it was meant to be a quiet car ride but Ash found her mouth and tongue moving anyway.

If she analyzed the situation closer, she had no idea what had her trying to get this guy to open up more to her. Yet with a 45 minutes of silence as they drove back to the heart of the city in front of them, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to start __some__ kind of conversation rather than just dealing with awkward silence.

"I uh, have an appointment later this evening to see him actually," Johnny admitted with a helpless shrug, "He probably won't show up, but…that's okay."

As Johnny drove, Ash glanced over at his profile. It was still hard to believe how traumatic this guy's life was; how much he had on his plate and the emotional strife he had to deal with was hidden behind such a kind eyes and a positive demeanor. How everyday, this guy went home with an permanent ache in his chest as he had to live with the possibility of his dad dying behind bars.

It must have been absolutely crushing.

"...So, what are your plans?" Johnny suddenly spoke again and Ash yanked her eyes away from him.

"Eh, I dunno." she muttered, forcing her gaze out the small amount of scenery she could perceive from the window.

"Will you try out for more performances around town?"

"Probably… Well, until I get rejected again that is."

"Aw, c'mon." he chuckled when he halted the truck at a stop sign - the shift in gravity making her stomach lurch forward. "You need to be more positive than that! You're a great singer and musician - go in there __knowing__ you'll get chosen. You've gotta to be more confident in your abilities, Ash."

The porcupine had to force her eyes not to roll when she glanced over a him. He was looking at her, a smirk pulling up one side of his mouth and her stomach lurched in a different sense when she saw the flash of his white canines peaking through his gray mouth and instantly wanted to slap herself for thinking he had a great smile.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... Practice what you preach then." she grumbled under her breath and forced her eyes to drift from his face yet could still see his confused expression in her peripheral.

"Hmm?"

"You just said your dad wasn't going to show up - where's __your__ confidence?"

Johnny's face fell for a moment before his normal calm smile was back. The truck accelerating back down another long winding road before he spoke again.

"You're right… I should be more positive. Thank you, Ash."

"I wouldn't thank me yet." she muttered mainly to herself whilst glancing back out of the window. Eyes glazing over as a sudden wave of exhaustion hit her hard. More mentally and emotionally draining than anything, but still there. Yet, she was focused and made sure to stay awake even if it meant continuing what she found to be her rather awkward attempt at conversing.

A few moments later and one question that had been lingering in the back of her mind kept pestering her; flitting about no matter how many times she tried pulling it down. After awhile, she stopped fighting it anymore and it just slipped out.

"If the singing thing doesn't work - what are you going to do?" She felt as if the question should have been directed toward herself but she couldn't deny she was curious about his options. Maybe it would give her more ideas to add to the list of her measly ones.

"...Truthfully? I never really took singing as a career seriously 'til I found that paper..." for a moment, her memory flashed to that moment she first saw it too - stuck to Lance's quills when they were getting on the train.

Upon reading it, a fire grew in her chest when she thought of possibly winning…that same fire now gone and now she just felt cold. Thinking of how useless all of this was; how if she didn't find it and they didn't go to that audition…she'd probably still be with Lance…Stuck with that jerk and working worthless gigs and dead end jobs for the rest of her damned life. At least now, she had other options and a chance to make her own future instead of being stuck in a rut with a boyfriend who never cared about her.

Who would have thought that single piece of paper could have changed her life (and Johnny's as well) the way it did? Her thoughts suddenly coming to a halt when said gorilla began speaking again.

"It just came out of nowhere when I was shutting the garage door," the way he said garage with his accent made her smirk a little, "I mean, before then, it was more of a hobby; somethin' I enjoyed but never took too seriously. An unfathomable dream almost but when I went to the audition and Buster chose me - or rather had to pick me over that giraffe…" he said with a mirthless chuckle, "It was the very first time I realized that I __wanted__ to do this. I __wanted__ to be a singer…" Johnny relayed the story slowly; his main focus on the road prevalent in this situation.

"So, you never sang much before then?"

"I wouldn't say that. I'd sing all the time - just only when I was alone. Typical places like in the shower, at the gym, when I'd go out for walks or skateboarding…even while I was waiting for my dad to finish his heists and I was the lookout."

"Wait...you sang when you were supposed to be a lookout for your dad?" Ash couldn't help but laugh a little at that; picturing sweet, innocent Johnny (lost in his head as usual) singing without a care in the world as his dad's somewhere robbing a bank. It was rather comical if you thought about it.

"Eh…" Johnny's face grew a tinge of red at her statement, "I wasn't the __best__ lookout, I admit…"

"Heh. No kidding. But that was it? You never sang in front of people or played piano before now? I find that hard to believe." she said with a furrowed brow; she heard him playing the piano that day as she passed by Buster's office - he didn't sound like someone who first touched ivory keys a week ago.

"No...I never sang or played in front of people before recently…well, except my mum that is." A horrifying sadness flashed in his eyes; the briefest hints of a frown pulling at his lips when he spoke but before she could say a word, he continued, "…but that was a long time ago. I-I used to play piano when I was a kid so I guess some of it's coming back but also, Miss Crawly's a good teacher and I've always been a bit of a fast learner."

Ash was so tempted for him to elaborate more about his past but she wondered again why she was bothering getting to know Johnny even better now. Not to mention if he'd even open up to her anymore than he already had. She had to accept this was perhaps the last few moments she'd ever spend with him. Their dreams dashed by Buster's refusal, there was hardly any need to get to know him more but for some twisted reason, she kinda wanted to. Pushing down her doubts, she opened her mouth to speak but Johnny (thankfully in retrospect) beat her to it.

"To answer your question from earlier, I have other options. I worked at my dad's mechanic shop my whole life. In London, that was his job and owned his own business, but when we moved here and the business was slow…he had to give it up and that's when he started…well, you know; but I suppose that's one option I still have open." Johnny stopped at a light; glancing over to her to give her a slight shrug of his shoulders.

It seemed strange to think of Johnny under the hood or body of a car, covered in motor oil and grease; cutting up fingers that played the piano so beautifully; exhaust and the stench of gasoline perhaps ruining those vocal chords after hours of breathing it in. Fixing cars wasn't a profession she seen Johnny enjoying but she didn't picture herself working in a retail shop with a red shirt and khaki's either but beggars aren't choosers she supposed. In a perfect world, they'd both have record contracts and be living the high life but sadly…this was reality.

Ash thought if Johnny could make due with a regular job like most of the population, she supposed she could as well.

"What about you?" Johnny suddenly spoke again; the car lurching forward had her hand subconsciously grasping at the leather seats to steady herself even if the seatbelt was doing that for her. "You've been singing a long time?"

The question wasn't one she expected but since she asked him about his past - it was only fair she answered.

"My dad used to tell me as soon as I could talk, I was singing. Didn't pick up a guitar til after I met Lance though," she said with as much disdain as would fit in her voice; the one aspect she hated was that asshole was the one to teach her to play. Her beloved guitar containing such tainted memories she'd rather not ponder.

"In high school, I was in band and an after school music club was where I met him and the rest was history. He taught me guitar and even bought my the one I play - the only decent present he ever bought me. Over the years, we were a band I guess you'd call it; getting occasional gigs and I was hoping Moon's contest would be our big break…"

Ash let out a deep breath; accessing silently how life could change so fast without any warning. A rug ripped from under you leaving you no choice but to tumble and fall flat on the ground. Forcing you into the aftermath of staring up at the sky - gasping for air but none would come…

"Well, you know how that ended…" Ash shrugged it off; not bothering to acknowledge the glance of sympathy Johnny sent her. "But I'm not giving up - I'll figure this out. May take longer than I want it to, but truth be told, I'd rather be where I am now that still stuck with that cheating bastard. If that's all this did for me...I guess that's something I'll always have to thank Buster for."

Johnny smiled; the gesture more in her peripheral but still there. It was weird but it was true. At least where she was, she could do things on her own. Carve her own path in the sand and either follow the wind or fight against the tide. It was her life now and she planned to make the most of it.

"You'll be fine, Ash. You got that fighting spirit - you'll do just fine." Johnny's words were quiet and almost spoken under his breath.

"Yeah…and so will you."

At the next stop, Johnny glanced over at her.

Ash made sure her arms were crossed and eyes steadfast on the dashboard in front of her. Wanting to hide the fact she'd said something encouraging even if it slipped out almost unintentionally. Ash didn't catch the smile on his face or sparkle return to his eyes; only stared at the window as the truck and it's occupants began moving closer into the heart of the city.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they arrived back at her apartment; the tires of his truck coming to a halt where he parallel parked in front of her apartment door. The ignition turned off and remained still for a long time; Ash hesitated and it was obvious Johnny was too. His eyes still steadfast on the road even when the car was long since parked. By the tilt of his brow and furrowed lips, you can easily tell he was tempted to say __something__ but she wouldn't push it especially when her own mind was flooded with a million and one things that wanted to leech out.

If you asked __why__ she was hesitating to leave, she couldn't exactly tell you.

Perhaps it was because she some part of her didn't want this to end… That once she passed the threshold of the truck door and back into her dark, empty apartment, all of this would truly be over for good. This past month, while crazy and wrought with unimaginable grief, torment, and pain…there was __something__ about it she wasn't ready to let go of just yet. Would even fully agree that maybe, just maybe, she'd grown attached to those she met thus far - Moon, Miss Crawly, Rosita, Gunter, Meena…and of course, Johnny.

 __Hating it was only_ _ **__**now** _ _ ** __that she finally_ _ __realized it…_ _

To think it took a new family of sorts to make her feel somewhat whole again after Lance's earth-shattering betrayal and her new encounter with loneliness that she never experienced before. These animals she just met were there for her when no one else was: listened to her, talked, comforted, and reached out when no one else bothered to ever care before (not even the guy she gave five years of her life to).

It was awhile before she even realized that Johnny's eyes were on her. Ash turned her head toward him and met his gaze steadily, an ache growing in her chest when he suddenly gave her the barest hints of a smile; one that clearly didn't reach his eyes for the first time she could ever recall.

"Well, we're here." he muttered the obvious and she couldn't help but smirk at that.

"Yeah. I noticed."

"Hmm. S'pose you did…Um, I guess, uh…I-I'll be seeing you around, Ash."

Ash knew he didn't intend to lie but who were they kidding? With no more hope of Buster turning around and making this competition a reality, there was really no reason they would see each other again. They were still teetering on this delicate edge of acquaintances and…maybe friends? Perhaps just two souls who needed to meet to realize other animals had struggles too and they had helped each other out in that sense.

"Yeah." she replied steadily; she guessed she was a liar too.

In those moments of hearing about his father, she'd felt as if she knew a side of him no one else did. He willingly told her a part of his life he had kept secret from everyone up until today…and it felt good. Felt good to connect beyond simple greetings and exchanged pleasantries.

"Sorry. Let me get your door." Johnny muttered and Ash watched as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of his side of the truck. Busying herself with doing the same when he opened her door for her.

Her task complete, icy blue eyes met chestnut brown before slipping down his body to where his hand was proffered once again. The stubborn side wanted to push it away and climb down herself but in all actuality, she was just __tired__ and didn't care about acting prickly and flippant right now.

With slight hesitation, she took his hand and allowed him to help her descend.

"Hey! Who knows? Maybe I'll bump into you again." Johnny chuckled in an obvious intent to try and lighten the somber mod that filled the air. Ever so gently, he squeezed her hand a bit as he helped her down the truck bed.

"Yeah. Maybe..." Ash couldn't help but return the sentiment as she stepped safely onto the sidewalk. The two glanced at one another, a few words going much left unsaid and it was a full minute before either of them realized they were still holding hands.

"Ooh. Sorry." Johnny was the first to apologize as he gently withdrew his hand.

"Don't be." Ash said without thinking, flinching a bit at the words and pretended to kick at an invisible pebble. Didn't want to acknowledge how cold she felt without his hand grasping her own by sticking her hand into her skirt pockets and cursing those plaguing thoughts.

It felt so awkward and misplaced but the quietness felt comfortable. A silence between what she would now consider more than just co-workers, competitors, or acquaintances. It felt more than that now…but as things were, it's all it would be. The pain accompanying that realization was one Ash was nowhere near ready to confront…

"...I hope everything works out for you, Ash. I really do." Johnny stated and Ash met his eyes.

"...Yeah. Same to you too."

"Thanks." he replied with a soft grin.

Without even asking, Johnny began walking her to her apartment, a comfortable silence that was broken by their soft pattering of dragging footsteps as they approached her door.

It felt like the shortest walk of her life; one Ash would reluctantly agree she wished was a little longer. The very sight of her door made her fur prickle; the little knicks from quills, or all the times Lance kicked the ajar door open because he was too lazy to take his hands out of his pockets, or bumped it with his guitar case when he came home drunk.

Memories she wished would just go away… _ _especially now…__

"It was nice getting to know you a little more." Johnny spoke, breaking her out of her reverie. Her fragile heart skipping a bit at the context and the genuine tone in which he spoke. "...and thanks for opening up to me and listening. It really helped me Ash. Thank you…"

"Eh. Yeah." she shrugged casually even as her heart nearly pounded out her chest and her palms sweat something fierce, "No problem."

Johnny's smile grew but fell a second later when she finally took her keys out of pocket.

"Oh. Sorry for keepin' ya." his whole demeanor shifted; a look of guilt rose on his face that Ash immediately squashed down.

"No. It's fine. Really."

"Well, anyway…" Johnny glanced out toward the street and somewhere far off before continuing, "I still better be going - that appointment with my dad is pretty soon."

"Oh. Oh, yeah, you better not miss that." Ash continued to hide behind a nonchalant shrug.

"True. Heh… Well, um…I guess this is goodbye for now." it was Johnny's turn to shrug, his smile lopsided and not at all the smile she was used to.

"I guess so." she waved a bit; the words felt hallow in her throat but was able to choke out, "Bye, Johnny."

"Goodbye, Ash." Johnny smiled for real this time before all of a sudden, he'd turned his back to her and began walking away.

In this moment of sudden panic she desperately wanted to say something. What exactly, she had no freaking idea, just __something__ …Yet the more stubborn side ignored it; told her she was being ridiculous and for the first time in awhile, she listened to it. Forced her to turn around and push her key in the door and open it.

She didn't care.

__She didn't care._ _

****She**** ** **didn't**** ** **care**** …it was the only mantra that kept her from screaming out to him…but he beat her too it upon reaching his truck and turning back around.

"Oi, Ash ****wait****!" Johnny suddenly spoke and a spark of happiness she didn't care to meditate over appeared in her like a spark when she turned back to him. Her eyes wide and curious as he approached.

"Yeah?" she said, voice much higher pitched than she intended; clearing her throat and hoped he didn't notice how her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"You almost forgot these." he said and in his large hand was the baggie of cookies she got from Rosita's place.

…Had that only been a few hours ago?

 _…_ __it felt like a lifetime…_ _

"Oh." was her first disappointed reaction until she quickly followed it with a chuckle and an "Oops. Heh. Glad you remembered."

Ash reached out to grab the baggie, her fur prickling when she accidentally brushed the side of her hand over his warm palm. Once they were in her possession, Johnny pulled back and gave her a small military type wave with a flit of his his index and middle fingers by his forehead.

"See ya, Ash." he said before he had walked away and was in his truck before she could even fully process what was happening.

Forcing those strange feelings down, Ash turned around and opened her door and quickly closed it behind her. Yet something had her going to her window, peeking from behind her curtains to see Johnny sitting in his truck for a moment. Chestnut eyes flicked toward her apartment and for a few brief seconds, she thought perhaps he could see her but those faded when he turned away again. Fiddled with his steering wheel for a brief moment before she heard the truck come to life.

The purr of an engine and quick glance in his rearview mirror - _than he was gone._

Ash flinched when the abrupt gravity of his absence hit her; staring off toward the direction his truck disappeared to for a longer time than she cared to admit…Only one thing was for certain…she didn't know how to feel about _anything_ anymore…

* * *


	15. Abeyance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash makes another major alteration to her life as she struggles to move forward…but will an unexpected phone call change it forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can scarcely grasp the support I continue to receive for this story in the form of comments, faves, follows, kudos, and etc.! You all are simply amazing and I appreciate all of it more than you know! I hope you enjoy this latest installment! Xoxo

* * *

Another week slowly came and went. This one seemingly longer than the last and Ash was certain she was going to lose whatever remained of her sanity.

Fingers pressing firmly to the frets of her guitar; the smell of black spray paint giving her a slight headache that was getting very hard to ignore even after giving it, what she believed, more than enough time to air out. The chemical paint smell was cloying and burnt her nostrils whenever she inhaled but she chose to keep playing anyway…

The black surface greeting her rather than the red it was previously. Ash stared at the shiny black and white guitar she held; mind subconsciously recalling when the random decision came about soon after Johnny dropped her back off at her apartment last week.

* * *

The second Johnny's truck drove off with the roar of an engine, Ash hadn't felt right.

Buster's refusal to hear them out coupled with the fact her dream was dead and she'd never see these animals again made her more upset than she cared to admit. Stomach in knots and it wasn't even alleviated after she had stuffed her face with the rest of the cookies from Rosita's place. If anything, it just intensified the uneasy sensation in her gut and fervent pounding of her battered heart.

Hours later, she still found herself slumped on her couch; holding her queasy stomach and staring at the ceiling and the fine cracks adorning its dusty white surface for what seemed like years.

Questions as to what to do next and where to turn flitting around in her mind like a nest of pissed-off killer bees. Struggling to drum up the courage to either try and book another gig, get a lame ass retail job, or the final choice of calling her father to beg for college tuition money. Neither options were tempting and she dreaded the time she'd have to make one. Ash would much rather just lay here and sleep forever but that was sadly not an option.

When a nagging headache began forming, Ash grunted and pulled her eyes away from the ceiling and the hopeless spiral downfall her life was taking was when her eyes fell on her treasured Fender leaning up against a wall nearby. Mind inexplicably (and rather reluctantly) wandering to the last person she ever cared to think about again.

The red paint, green star sticker, and especially the messy script of _"Lance'_ scrawled in black ink over its surface…all of it annoyed her to no end.

Every damn time she was tempted to pick it up, she ended up looking down at it in disdain, hatred, and the burn of betrayal resting like a molten stone in her gut. The first thought was to burn it, break it, shatter the instrument into a million pieces like the bastard had done to her heart - but she stopped herself. It was the only guitar she had and the only one she could afford right now considering she currently had no job and seemingly no future career before her now.

Yet over this past month, aside from writing her song on it, Ash had steadily been coming to hate it and all the memories associated with the shiny red paint...

Lance giving it to her for her 16th birthday (the only decent present he ever bothered to give her); teaching her notes, chords, and the barest hints of her first song before he got tired and impatient. Leaving her to figure out the rest in her own and she did. Recalled so many hours, days, weeks, and months she spent on YouTube and countless instructional sites watching tutorials and learning to play random songs she enjoyed before slowly learning the notes, chords, and finally figuring out how to read music.

_A tireless effort that finally paid off…_

Ash had learned to play the guitar; mostly accomplished the feat on her own but still, the thoughts of Lance tainted her beloved guitar…and lately, it had become too much to stomach. Every time she even glanced at the red paint, her gut would clench; painfully fill up with regret, anger, and the white-hot hatred she had for Lance and what he'd done to her. The red paint made her see anger, frustration, and blaming him for turning her world upside-down and inside-out.

How **DARE** he cheat on her with some dime-store slut while she worked her ass off providing for them both throughout the past five years with nary a complaint. All the times she worked her fingers to the bone just to make their next rent payment by working dead-end jobs she hated. Lance never once uttered a simple "thank you", didn't bother helping her with the everyday chores around the house, and kept her down by feeding her lies which she believed for too damn long…

It was time to put an end to all of the pain of her past…

With nothing else holding her back, Ash jumped off the couch and left her apartment with a slam of the front door.

A quick trip to the local hardware store and she had returned home with a bag containing a can of black spray paint, small anti-dust mask, and a roll of blue masking tape before setting to work. Finding a bare spot in her house with wooden floors, she spread out an old comforter from her closet as to not make too much of a mess. Removing her guitar strings before using masking tape to seal off the white portions which was a meticulous and frustrating endeavor but paid off when she shook that can and sprayed over the scratched off sticker and sticky residue; the bright red that once mocked her was now a gorgeous shiny black.

The most satisfying was still yet to come...

Glaring at that sprawl from her former asshole ex, Ash stopped for a moment to recall when he did it.

_The smug smirk on his face as he pressed the permanent felt-tip black marker to her guitar and wrote his name in messy script._

_Ash bewilderingly stared at him when he did it; thought perhaps he did it so she could return the favor and write her name on his (Yet another one of her naive, ridiculous thoughts of them being together forever type of shit…) but instead of handing over his guitar and the pen like she expected, he just laughed._

_Refusing for her to get near his precious guitar and "degrading the value" as he coined it with a cruel chuckle._

_It hurt at the time and it hurt even worse now as she remembered how flippantly he disregarded the situation - his lame-ass excuses afterward and kissing and touching her to get her mind off of his harsh words…_

Now all the memory did was fill her stomach with molten coals of anger and burning betrayal. Coming to the terms with just how little Lance ever cared about her was a hard pill to swallow - but now, she was changing that for good. With a forceful press of her index upon the button of the spray paint, the black inky substance cascaded out and effectively covered his signature until it was no more than a bad memory.

Looking down at her changed guitar now, it was as if a physical weight had been lifted. Throughout the day, she added a few more layers and finally a top coat before finally allowing it to dry for a full day near an open window. Once completed, Ash gently peeled off the tape and what was revealed underneath made her feel as if she was looking at a brand new guitar.

The shiny black and white face beckoned to her to play it and Ash heeded that silent call; reattached the strings and re-tuned it as she'd done countless times before... Without even needing to look at the written music or lyrics, Ash played and sang the song she wrote on this new guitar; voice powerful and strong as she ran through the verses and choruses without even thinking.

It was akin to her lifesong - _her anthem_ \- it was hers and hers _**alone**_ … _and now her guitar was too..._

* * *

...That was a week ago.

The smell of spray pain sticking a bit in her nostrils but slowly and steadily dissipating with the passage of time. Much like her frayed beating heart; the pain that was once so intense and earth-shattering by Lance's betrayal was already waning. Mainly a dull bitterness now that lay like a heavy rock in her gut. Ash tried her hardest to try and put it behind her now for what good did drumming up the past have for anyone?

While that chapter of her life was over, Ash knew she'd be dealing with the repercussions for quite some time.

The last five years of her life felt so pointless now. Feeling more like a fool than anything for she was the one who believed it - all of Lance's lies and letdowns. How she let him walk all over her since the first date they ever had; the naivety she displayed throughout it all was what bothered her the most. To think of how she labeled herself as determined and independent and yet was under his thumb like his little slave the whole damn time. These past years were nothing but a waste…

All Ash wanted now was to put it behind her; to one day move on from all of this and just hope to learn _something_ from it. Whatever lesson that was - whether it was to not be so easily trusting, to see the signs she ignored so easily before, or to finally put herself first - whatever it was, she planned to find out sooner rather than later.

Allowing a soft sigh to leave her throat, she played a few familiar chords before her tired hands stilled over the frets and strings. Icy blue eyes flitting to her laptop nearby and it appeared as if time itself seemingly stopped; dragging at a snail's pace since the confrontation with Buster and everything that happened since. Longest damn week of her life. Placing her guitar to the side, Ash picked up her laptop and went about a few errands online; paying bills and whatnot - doing so to waste time more than anything.

Overall, it had been a quiet week of much needed reflection.

A past she was ready to be rid of except for a few things that kept beckoning her back to this past month. Having to face a present and future Ash never would believed she'd have. Throughout her time with Lance, it was always trying to find their big break - open a recording studio to make songs and of course getting rich and famous - all that wishful thinking shit. Really believing it would happen for them one day; getting a recording contract and be this well-known band touring the world…just him and her.

_How damn_ _**stupid** _ _it all sounded now…_

A very different future (an unsure one at that) was what Ash was currently facing.

Lance wasn't much a subject weighing on her heart and mind much anymore (aside from those few bitter moments of betrayal that haunted her before she fell into a troubled sleep) - but others were. Thoughts inevitably flitting back to Moon Theater and the place she almost had her big break and well as met these animals she was having a hard time forgetting.

The Moon Theater crumbling to the ground had a profound effect on all involved - more so than she ever thought it would. Now she was left to brave the choppy waves in this sea of doubt and let-downs; trying her damnedest to keep her head above water and resist the temptation of letting go and being pulled under its icy depths. The only salvation and comfort she felt in these moments was that she really wasn't alone…

Buster, Miss Crawly, Rosita, Gunter, Meena…

Each of their smiling faces appearing in her head from time to time without her consent but still remaining regardless. Reminiscing about the animated Moon running around the theater in his excited voice as he tried coercing her to sing the nauseating teeny-bop song, "Call Me Maybe" or Miss Crawly and her strangely soothing droning voice and eyes facing two different directions. The sympathetic words of Rosita and Gunter always encouraging even as her world was falling apart underneath her feet. Meena with her quiet voice and meek demeanor but the kindest soul you could hope to meet.

… _and Johnny…_

Ash's eyes lowered to the phone that lay nearby - remembering the few texts he'd sent sporadically this past week; all differently worded but basically ended with him simply asking her how she was doing and hoping she was well. A partial smirk flitted over her mouth at how strangely… _sweet_ it all was. How something so simple as asking about her well-being showcased perfectly what kind of animal he was. Gentle and giving soul she had no business to have the pleasure of knowing. He was far too pure for this world that seemed far too cruel for a bright a soul as he; probably just as naive as she had once been…but with him, it was much more genuine if that made sense.

Yet, Johnny perhaps was not as naive as she believed for he knew well of the cruelness that exited in this world. Experienced it with the imprisonment of his father and what no doubt was a stifling loneliness and crumbling sense of hopelessness about the entire situation he had little control over…but Johnny didn't show it. Instead the gorilla was rarely seen without a smile or an encouraging word; not allowing these harsh realities bring him down…

Perhaps that's one of the many reasons Ash believed it was so difficult for her to put the memories of Moon Theater fade. All of them had the dream to sing - to make something of themselves even if it was in slightly different capacities. Dream they all shared and lost on the same day - it was a familiarity she shared with all of them and it made moving on more of a possibility. They all had to move on and if they could make it happen - she knew she could as well.

Life went on - the world was still spinning even if hers had come to a brutal stop. It wasn't fair and she didn't want to face an unsure future that lied straight ahead of her - but like all those she met at the theater - she no other choice.

Small furry finger flitting about the touch-pad of her laptop, Ash flitted the blinking arrow over to a tab she had left open for the past two weeks. Going back to it to either just take in a glance or have this strong desire to close and just forget its existence. How easy it would be to ignore her problems but she just couldn't do it anymore.

The slightest bit of hesitation later, she opened the web-page was for the Institute of Music and Theater - a college right here on the outskirts of the city.

A college she used to dream of attending way back when in middle school; the times she dreamed of attending and graduating as a qualified Broadway singer or recording artist. A time before she wore mostly black clothes or ever picked up a guitar and had aspirations of becoming a world-renowned rockstar.

A life that seemed nothing more than a strange dream at times.

Yet this was cold, harsh reality - bills and rent incoming without anything to stop them and without a job to support herself, all Ash knew was she needed to do **something** before her house of cards fell. Moon Theater wasn't magically going to re-appear and her dream fulfilled - no music producer was going to attend a sleazy bar where she could possibly book a gig, and she'd be _damned_ before going back to retail-hell.

It took a week of research and soul-searching before Ash had come to the conclusion that thought perhaps college was a good start.

College would at least give her time to know what she wanted to do with her life because even with a freshened guitar and all the amount of confidence in the world couldn't promise gigs or pay her bills. It was one place she could go and perhaps learn a skill where she could at least do more than retail or lame-ass gigs. Perhaps become a respected guitarist for a successful recording artist, a producer of some kind - a spot to get her foot in the door at least; to network and get to know people in the industry. Attending college would open more doors and now that Lance was out of her life for good, her dad would be more than willing to foot the bill…

Mind made up, Ash stared at her phone and prepared herself to call her dad.

Little did she know what would happen as she moved her hand over the screen - her father's number just a brush of her thumb away. About to touch the small green icon to contact her father, her phone suddenly buzzed and rang loudly. Ash shook at the jolt but her heart hammered for a totally different reason when she saw the name of the one who was calling her…

* * *

 


	16. Revival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden change of heart from Buster Moon has incredible ripple effects for all involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the constant support! You have no idea how much your faves, follows, kudos, bookmarks, and especially your comments mean to me! Thanks again and hope you enjoy. ;-3

* * *

The name on her phone 'Moon' suddenly popped up on screen and it made Ash physically flinch and almost drop the device out of pure shock. The annoying ringtone blaring and vibrating in her paw didn't have any intention of stopping and it was only succeeding in making this situation harder to deal with for she had such little time to comprehend it all…

… _For indeed - Buster Moon was calling her…_ _A sudden change of heart from Buster Moon has incredible ripple effects for all involved._

Whatever the reason, she wasn't sure.

At first, Ash thought perhaps it was a strange dream. That she'd simply fallen asleep laying on the couch and this was all some twisted nightmare caused by lack of sleep and too much junk food. It would sure as hell make more sense than if this was reality - because **none** of this made much sense for why the hell would Moon be calling her _now_ of all times?

It was a dream.

_It had to be._

Yet the vibration of her phone echoing up through her paw and arm didn't feel dream-like whatsoever. The noisy ringtone Lance had chosen for her so awful she still berated herself for not changing it yet; it even managed to hurt her ears and the pain registering told her indeed…this may just be reality.

Pushing aside any last hesitation and to sate her own curiosity (and against her better judgment), she answered the call with a swipe of her thumb.

"Yeah?" she asked dryly into the receiver; ready for whatever prank or similar awaited her on the other line. Perhaps Moon had to pawn off his phone for money and neither Moon nor the shop bothered to clean the phone out. The animal who eventually bought it was probably just calling everyone in the contacts for shits and giggles…

"...Ash? Ash, is that you? I-I'm _pretty_ sure I got the right number." the voice on the other line rang out and a chill went through her body when indeed - it _was_ the one and only Buster Moon.

"What do you want, Moon?" she muttered out; more so to cover the shock in her voice than anything.

"Oh, Ash! **So** glad I got a hold of you - I - I-I first just want to apologize for my behavior last time I saw you. I was being completely selfish and not really thinking when I turned you all away last week. I _shouldn't_ have done that…"

"Yeah. No kidding…" Ash didn't even bother hiding the venom in her tone. His blatant disregard for their effort to cheer him up and still believe in him even after he almost got them all killed was really rather, for lack of a better term, fucked up.

Moon went silent for a moment, a soft sigh she easily picked up before he decided to respond, "…I know - I…I'm so sorry; you have to believe me, Ash. I wasn't in my right mind, I was depressed and not thinking clearly to see how I hurt you all and…

I'm sorry. I really am."

"So what? Did you just call to apologize because it's kinda late for that." Ash was physically trembling; the blatant anger in her voice stemming through even in the back of her mind told her to stop, to not speak in such a way but it was all the hurt speaking now…

"I know that. Sorry doesn't really help now, b-but, I wanted to invite you to come perform with the others back at the theater! W-We're going to perform like we were supposed to! Uh, yeah, sure, t-t-there's no money in it, but maybe we'll get some recognition and who knows what'll happen after that?" Buster's stuttering voice was rather strange to listen to; normally one so confident and self-assured and it was weird to hear it squelched.

The more shocking thing though was the content of his words…

… _Performing?_

**NOW?**

"What if there was a producer who heard us? Even a local television newscast streaming the whole show throughout the town? It would bring so much more attention to the Moon Theater a-and maybe with their help, we could raise money and do benefit concerts to eventually raise enough and re-build! Anything can happen if we work together!" it appeared his confidence was slowly gaining by her silence.

Ash was frozen on the other line as Buster continued in his ramblings and the excitement leeching out in waves. A persistent bitterness rose in her chest at all of this for she had desperately wanted to put this all behind her - Lance, Moon Theater, all of those associated - _Everything_. Didn't Moon get that she wanted to move on with her life?!

Now, here was Moon trying to convince her to come back?! And for what!? A maybe? A billion in one possibility that an animal who actually mattered listened to their impromptu concert and just handed them a shitton of money to rebuild an old theater?! Newsflash: They lived in reality, not a freakin' fairytale land! There was _no one_ who would fund their little venture! That dream was dead a long time ago and they all would have to accept it…especially Buster.

Buster's voice that she supposed she'd drowned out was now audible as her thoughts scattered away with a resolute answer she would give him.

"...I know it may not sound like much, but I can hear the passion when you sing. Your new song you wrote!" Ash couldn't help but flinch when he said it; her mind awash with thing she didn't care to think about right now. "Ash, I _know_ you want to sing it and being exposed on the news or something may spark a -"

"What's the _fucking_ point, Moon?" Ash interrupted, the fire in her voice not held back whatsoever. She felt as if she may be the only one out of the whole group who had any grasp of brutal reality.

"... _pardon_?" he asked, his voice sounding more like his depressed tone back at Eddie's pool house.

"There's no money, _no_ prize, and **no** theater left. There's **nothing** , Moon. Unlike you, _I_ need to move on…alright? It's **over**!"

"...Ash, of course there's still something! W-What about your dreams? Your singing? There's such passion when you're performing onstage! I know there's still a part of you that wants to do this! I believe in you! I -"

Ash hung up the phone with a firm press of her thumb on the red icon.

Heart pounding desperately in her chest at her abrupt decision to do so and all of a sudden, it all overwhelmed her. Eyes flooding with tears and emotions she cared not to deal with right now.

Just what the **hell**?!

Looking back down at her phone, she saw Moon was trying to call her back but she rejected his call with a swipe of her finger. It drifted back to her contacts - the few she didn't delete from her phone or block the numbers completely. 'Dad' was one that was staring back at her - how easy it would be to call him now and ask for tuition money - to go to college and ditch the dream forever.

Moon's words flitting about in her mind and how insane it all sounded…yet before she could talk herself out of it, she found her finger drifting downward in her contacts and without any hesitation, she called someone else.

* * *

"Ash?" the British-accented voice asked on the other line.

"Hey…" Ash muttered. "Uh…what's up?" she still continued to fail miserably at small talk.

"I just got off the phone with Mr. Moon!" Johnny admitted way too happily for her taste and Ash's stomach clenched, "Yeah, I-I tried to call ya but your line was busy."

"...Wait - Moon called you too!?"

"Yeah!"

"...so he's actually serious about this?" she muttered under her breath in complete disbelief. Was she the only sane one left?

"Uh…Yes. I'm pretty sure."

"...Are you shitting me?" Ash grumbled when Johnny basically had to repeat himself for the third time.

"I'm not!" Johnny laughed; his voice was pure unadulterated sunshine and rainbows and as nice as it sounded from the muted chuckle he had last time they spoke, it still kinda irritated her.

"So, wait, did you actually agree to his insane scheme?"

"I don't think it's a scheme, Ash. I think he's serious. He just wants to have a concert and invited us to perform. It sounded genuine to me So I'm gonna go… Didn't you hear him out?"

"Not really - I hung up on him!"

Johnny grew silent on the other end…and wait, was he fucking _snickering_?!

"...you hung up on him?" he asked in an obviously bemused tone and she could practically see the lopsided smile he wore on the other end as well as the chuckle lacing his voice.

" **YES**!" Ash replied, not even bothering to hide her slight annoyance. "I didn't believe him - thought he was just rubbing salt in the wound. I mean, like why the hell would he do this now? It doesn't…"

"I believe him."

"Of course you do." she couldn't help but sigh a moment later; Johnny's endless reserves of optimism would never empty, would they?

"Mr. Moon wouldn't lie about this - I could hear it in his voice."

Ash's mouth opened, ready to argue about how strange all of this was but the words wouldn't come. Silence filling the dead air around her and the nonexistent space between her ear and phone where Johnny was strangely quiet. A soft breath left her mouth; head swimming and body felt numb as the words finally came out.

"…But why _now_? What damn good is this **now**?! The theater is gone - what are we going to gain by doing any of this?"

"That our dream of singing may come true - even if it's just for a night."

Ash rolled her eyes that time; he sounded so painfully optimistic and cheesy she couldn't help it.

"But _where_?! There's nothing but a pile of rubble and I doubt Moon acquired another venue this quick considering the sad-sack of a state he was last time we saw him!"

"I-It is at the Moon Theater! We're going to build…or rather re-build a stage of sorts to have a concert! Ya know, just for fun."

"...for _fun_?" Ash wasn't convinced.

"Mr. Moon says he wants to relive the glory days - make it about the music rather than the venue and -"

"By putting on a show in a bunch of rubble?!" Ash interrupted.

Johnny grew silent for a moment. "…uh, yeah?"

"Please tell me you told him how ridiculous he sounds?!"

"Ash…c'mon, what have we gotta lose?"

"The rest of our sanity, our dignity - our **lives**! The Moon Theater is just a pile of unsteady rubble! How the hell is that safe to perform on by any stretch of the imagination?!"

"I'm sure we'll make it work out. Now what do you say?" Johnny said and Ash could practically see the shrug of his shoulders from his voice alone.

Ash grew silent on the other line.

This didn't sound right whatsoever and it felt like she would be taking a giant step backwards if she agreed to this absurd lunacy. The more logical side telling her to finish the call, hang up and dial her father like she should. Attend college, graduate, than finally pursue a real career going rather than chasing fruitless dreams and hoping for it not to completely blow up in her face.

Life didn't work out perfect for her - it never did - so why the hell would it go right for her _now_ of all times?

"...Ash?" Johnny's voice filled her ears again and she audibly sighed.

"I'm sorry," the words felt positively foreign on her tongue, "I can't keep living in the past, Johnny. It's time to move forward and this isn't the way for me to do it."

"...not even for a night?"

Ash's mouth froze, wanting so badly to say 'no' and to even hang up on him like she did to Moon but she found she couldn't even muster up the courage for that.

Using her silence as leeway to try and convince her, Johnny continued.

"Ash, you **love** to play and sing - I saw the passion in your audition even if that no-good ex-boyfriend of yours tried to steal the spotlight," he chuckled and she hated how her heart prickled in her chest, "It was as if you were the only one on stage. I _know_ you want to do this - you don't have to but…I'd sure like it if ya were there..."

Another sigh escaped her parted lips; heart beating uncomfortable in her chest as she stared over at her new guitar - or rather, refurbished, guitar. The strings and promise of a stage beckoning her to say 'yes', but she couldn't do that either.

"I…I need to move on."

It was now Johnny's turn to be silent. It remained that way for a few tense moments before his voice hit her ears again.

"I understand…b-but, if you change your mind, he wants us to meet there tomorrow morning, bright and early. If I don't see ya - good luck in whatever you decide to pursue." it hurt how genuine he sounded while speaking those words.

"Mm-hmm. Yeah. Alright." was all she replied.

"Well, um…I, I hope you 'ave a good day. Bye, Ash."

"Bye." she muttered before his line went dead; the finality of it all hitting her square in the gut.

Ash started at the screen of her phone for what felt like an eternity. Mind awash with too much to fathom that these last…what, seven minutes at most provided?

It was all just too much.

Moon's and even Johnny's words were torturing her; flitting frantically, more than her scattered mind cared to comprehend now or frankly, ever.

They were really going to do a show?

A failure or flop no one would want to see? A random bunch of animals performing in the remains and rubble of a long-failing theater - not exactly high-class entertainment that would draw any positive attention. Hell, the more she thought about it, it was very likely the rest of the rubble would collapse and crush the rest of them in the process. She supposed it would serve them right for not obeying the brutal weight of reality she grunted internally. The thought was not one she entertained long but a side of her that kept pestering her had far greater implications…

… _What if?_

That two word question that held more weight than she cared to admit bothered her to no end.

The risk-taker, the rebellious porcupine that pushed against all odds part kept putting these doubts in her mind. What if someone who mattered heard? What if the stage didn't collapse and…the show was good?

"No Ash. Stop! No way! I am not thinking of doing this…" she was suddenly talking to herself; feeling like a mental patient who escaped from the psych ward. Wondering if she should sign herself into a loony bin before she REALLY did something stupid - like actually take him up on his offer? Oh, hell no.

"NO!" she spoke again to herself because yes indeed, she was well aware she was fully out of her mind. Eyes flitting to her phone and seeing her dad's number, hand frozen as she pushed herself to call him but her body wouldn't obey.

"Ugh!" she grunted whilst standing to her feet to pace around, again proclaiming to the empty apartment, "I am **NOT** going to do this…"

* * *

"...I can't _believe_ I'm doing this…" Ash muttered the second she stepped off the bus the next morning; approaching the remains of what used to be the majestic Moon Theater…

* * *

 


	17. Turnaround

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reluctantly going back to the Moon Theater, Ash meets up with the rest of the group as they try and reassemble the theater for a concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can't grasp the support I continue to receive for this story! Over 200 kudos and so many bookmarks!!? What!? You all are amazing and I sure hope you enjoy this next chapter because it's about to get interesting, y'all! ;-3

* * *

Ash still couldn't believe what she was doing even as she exited the bus and began the short walk to the pile of rubble that used to be the majestic Moon Theater.

What exactly brought her to this point in time - she wasn't sure. Going as far as to actually drag her ass out of bed at 9am (when she normally didn't wake til noon most days), catching a crowded bus without a lick of caffeine, and now approaching the theater she refused to even consider merely last night?!

…the only reasonable explanation is that she had gone _completely_ insane…

Yet, another side of her saw her actions are more reasonable. For as the night went on after hanging up the phone with Buster and Johnny, she began to think differently. Whereas once she was so eager to never see any of those animals from the theater again - to move forward with her life and keep trudging forward despite her breakup and broken heart from her shattered dreams of singing…she found she couldn't.

At least not yet.

Ash stared at her phone for God knows how long last night. The clock ticking steadily as her father's number glaring back at her as if mocking her, _daring_ her to call him - to beg for tuition money, head to college, graduate, and be forced to get a real job...

Yet something kept making her hesitate.

Wasn't exactly sure if it was her own damn stubbornness or what, but whenever the tip of her furry finger got near the green phone icon to make the call, she froze and eventually pulled back. How cowardly she felt by taking what seemed to be the easy way out; how simple it would be to call him - dad eagerly accepting her inquiry (moreso happy about her dumping Lance's bitch ass than him having to shell out thousands, but still, that counted, right?).

Staring at her dad's number and name, her mind went adrift to what **she** wanted…

What a concept, right?

Sitting down on that quill-punctured white couch she'd sat in so many times before…it was there Ash thought about what SHE wanted out of life. Not her dad or mom, not Buster Moon and especially not her ex! What did _she_ want out out of this short time she had on this planet?

Ash considered her options, weighing them carefully into the rank of plausibility and best course of action. So many options that ranged from downright reckless to so boring and stuffy, she thought she may need to open a window. It would be easy to call her dad, go to college, get a steady job and have a relatively comfortable, uneventful life. It seemed like the cushy way out; the right thing to do…and that thought crossing her mind was when it was like a light went on in her head.

Ash didn't want easy - she never did before so why now?

Where the hell did the rebellious rocker go? The one hellbent and determined to make her dream come true regardless of circumstances?! Lance's betrayal held no leverage over her life and what SHE wanted to do with it…and she was going to do something because she was a _rockstar_ , dammit!

Perhaps more in her own heart and mind right now, but since when did that forceful part of her personality become such a background character as of late? Perhaps Lance ripping her heart into pieces put that part of her heart dormant but the more she thought about it, that was the one voice in her she took most seriously for it WAS her.

She was that girl with those seemingly impossible dreams. One so determined to make them come true no matter what _anyone_ else thought about it…and all Ash wondered is when the _hell_ did that change!?

Glancing back down at her phone, Ash was suddenly appalled with the idea of college.

Some old fart trying to teach her music when she spent too many damn years of her life making sure she learned that guitar as if it was an extension of herself rather than just an instrument. Her strong vocals her own and she sure as hell didn't intend to sing the way someone else thought was perfunctory!

 **Fuck** that!

It was as if a fire erupted in her chest. Johnny and Buster's words filling her head and how their words rang out with such truth she had been deaf to - she LOVED to sing, lived to play her guitar; rock out and express herself best through music. Lance may have tried holding her back, but even that distraction was out of the picture for good.

This was her life and dammit, she wanted to live it her way!

Buster's offer coming to mind and while she thought little of it before, it became much more appealing. Sure, it wouldn't make her a single penny but in the grand scheme of things, what did that matter? Wasn't her one shot at true happiness worth more than a few paychecks she'd miss out on?! Even if it ended up epically exploding in her face, at least she did it for HER and no one else! This was her one ultimate chance and she needed to follow it like the last chance it was and if her dreams went down in flames, so be it.

Why die wondering, after all?

It was as if a fire began rising in her chest - a desire to play and sing for her and her alone.

Screw Lance!

Screw college!

Screw the assholes who told her she was chasing a dream that could never be fulfilled and she was kidding herself if she really believed it would!

If there was even a one in a billion chance it wasn't going to blow up in her face, she was going to take it because it was a chance, dammit! Without even thinking about it, Ash threw her phone on the couch and grabbed her guitar.

The notes and chord progression for the song she wrote immediately fled out without nothing to stop it. Voice strong and radiating as it filled the apartment with the song she wrote. Knew in her heart of hearts she wanted to sing it in public - wanted the world (and especially Lance) to hear it and know she had moved on; that she was stronger than he ever gave her credit for - and dammit, she was going to do so even if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

Ash's steps halted as she made it to the front of what used to be the Moon Theater.

The rubble was a lot more organized than expected and the pessimistic part of her second-guessed her decision to come even if she already planned on sticking it out. A part of her even felt as crazy as Moon for even trying to go through with this but why would she do anything different at this point?

She **had** to…and that was it.

Yet, seeing the debris scattered and brushed into a large pile; recalling that fateful day nestled like a pang deep in her gut. So many dreams were crushed to the ground in that moment…including her own. It was sad to see the pieces of cement that used to sky-high columns now scattered in large chunks around her feet. A sudden sympathy for how she spoke to Moon rising in her throat but she swallowed it back when…speak of the devil -

"I'm glad you could make it, Ash!" Buster called to her, waving enthusiastically from where he'd just been on some make-shift platform. His round, perky, and fuzzy ears made their way into her version as she ran out from behind a rather large pile of rubble.

Ash froze for a moment when she saw the enthusiasm in his bright blue eyes and smile lighting up his whole animated body. **So** much different than the last time she seen him wearing an over-sized green shirt and looking like utter hell (or rather a shell of his former self).

It appeared as if the old Buster Moon was back.

"...Do you know how crazy this is?" the first words were out her mouth before she bothered to rethink them.

"Of course I do!" he laughed uproariously as he approached her with a spring in his step; one she was certain was forever dormant. "You must be too since ya showed up!"

Ash was glad that least Moon was honest about his (and her own apparently) mental health conditions…

"But ya just gotta try sometimes even if you're certain you'll fail! How would you know otherwise if you don't?" he continued and Ash had to agree with him there for it was the exact same conversation she had with herself last night.

"Yeah," was all she muttered out.

Ash was tempted to perhaps apologize for her attitude on the phone last night but she stayed silent and hoped her presence this morning was enough.

"It's wonderful you decided to show up even if was super late notice." Buster spoke as lively as ever, "Again, I apologize for my behavior and I-I can't thank you - or everyone else who showed up - enough for giving me one last shot. I'm _really_ hoping you'll give it a chance and stick it out with us. I have a _great_ feeling about this!"

While his optimism was heads and tails above his "woe is me" spiel back at Eddie's pool house, Ash still found it a bit unsettling. It did seem more of a fanciful fairyland to think this could be pulled off in such short notice but her inner-rocker was adamant to still try - and so was she.

"I'm here, Moon, that enough for ya?"

"Plenty." he smiled this time; the genuine appreciation in his eyes didn't go unnoticed.

"So…What did you call us here for exactly?"

"Oh yes! I-I didn't get to explain it to you over the phone but we're simply getting a stage prepared! There's plenty of undamaged seats we were able to dig out and part of the main stage is still standing! All we need to do is push the debris out of the way and install some kind of a ceiling to hold up the lighting and of course speakers, microphones, a sorta backstage so you guys can get ready, and -"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ash finally had to break up his rambling, "…what the hell kind of time limit are we working with here, Moon? That list sounds a bit atrocious for the kind of venue we're working with now." she felt as if she had to lay it on the line as her hands couldn't help but gesture at the sad state the Moon Theater had been left. How the _hell_ were a bunch of singing animals supposed to build a functioning stage setup?!

"I know, I know," Moon replied with hands placed up in a complacent manner, "I know it seems like a lot but with all of us, it shouldn't take more than a week."

"A week? Uh, Moon, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm a singer, not a construction worker."

"Heh. Of course not. I wouldn't have you puling up pillars or anything! You'd be perfect for more…uh, petite tasks such as -"

"Eh, sorry ta interrupt Mr. Moon, but what should I do with the - **Ash**!" a voice that had her heart jump in her chest suddenly filled her ears. There approached Johnny - sans signature leather jacket, green jumper sleeves rolled up; a bit of sweat slipping down his exertion-flushed cheeks as he smiled down at her, canines and all… and suddenly, _that_ damn feeling was back.

"Hey." she responded with a nod of her head; hiding the fact she was actually really pleased to see him again…strange, she knew.

"It's alright, Johnny. I was just filling Ash in."

"Oh. Eh, sorry ta interrupt again, Mr. Moon. Just, where should I put the rafters Eddie's bringing over in an hour? He keeps texting me ta make sure we have 'nough room." Johnny asked, bashfully rubbing the back of his head.

"Backstage area for now. Oh, and while you're here, perhaps you can help Ash get started with the old costumes."

"Of course! Sure!" Johnny eagerly agreed smiling at her as she still tried to absorb whatever the hell was happening.

"Wait, I -" Ash tried to speak but Buster broke off anything she would say.

"I'm glad you decided to show up after all, Ash!" Buster interjected, gently resting a hand on her shoulder which she quickly flinched off. Even if she came back to do this, physical contact was not eagerly welcomed.

"Yeah, yeah…really didn't have too much going on, so…sure. Yeah." she shrugged off but Buster's smile refused to falter even a smidgen.

"Perfect! You can start digging out the costumes from an old trunk from my offices and hitting them with sticks to get the dust off!"

"...Are you fucking serious?"

" **Yes!** \- and language, young lady." Moon admonished with a wag of a small furry finger, "We'll be on live television soon and there's no need for that. Now, you two get back to work, there's a lot to get done if we'll make this Saturday night's deadline!" Buster announced before he suddenly ran away toward Miss Crawly who was struggling with some boxes marked 'lighting'. The old lizard caught sight of her and sent her a smile which Ash found herself returning.

"So nice to see you again, Ash." Miss Crawly drawled as Moon took the boxes from her overloaded arms.

"Yes, it is! Remember, Ash, Johnny will show you where you need to go! I'll catch up with you in a bit to make sure you're staying on task!" Moon sent her an exuberant smile which Ash shook her head at. It appeared Moon was more excited about free labor but she made her bed and now she had to lie in it.

_Too late to back out now…_

"...well, that happened." Ash muttered, staring off after Moon as if he'd grown two heads.

"It's nice he's back to his old self, eh?" Johnny panted a bit, the back of his hand wiping some sweat off his brow. His eyes felt heavy on her but it wasn't _completely_ unpleasant…

"Sure. Let's say 'nice'." she murmured more to herself as she finally glanced up at Johnny who was smiling down at her with that same smile that had her feeling partially nauseous and strangely warm.

"I'm really glad you decided to come, Ash. Concert wouldn't have been the same without cha." he gently bumped her arm with one of his knuckles and she instinctively flinched at the contact. Trying her damnedest to ignore how her heart fluttered at his statement; the genuine tone of his voice making her stomach do somersaults…she was certain she didn't like that feeling.

"Eh, can't let y'all have the fun, huh?" she shrugged it off, rolling up her sleeves a bit and knowing a long day of manual labor was ahead. If she was at all honest with herself, she was happy she decided to come too.

"That's the spirit." Johnny chuckled, "Now, c'mon. I'll help you with those costumes."

* * *

 


	18. Construction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rag-tag team of amateur singers work together and try to scrape up a stage in time for the concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this took a lot longer than expected *cough* nearly half a year *cough*
> 
> I do apologize but I was just trying to figure out a decent timeline to get some more character development to form rather than just jumping straight into the concert. Hope that's okay with everyone. ;-p After this is out of the way, I have a few chapters mapped out (and even a few nearly completed) so it won't be as long as a wait for the next chapter.
> 
> You'll also notice that this chapter is a bit different; so, what is happening here are basically little snippets of scenes from the group re-building the stage for the upcoming concert. I thought Ash should have a chance to grow closer with the other singers and not just Johnny, even if they will remain the focus. ;-p While this chapter is mostly random and fun, it'll ultimately bring it all together and precipitate what will transpire in future chapters.
> 
> For now, relish this crazy long chapter for y'all being SO patient with me but don't get used to it though for we'll be back to 2500 words by next chapter. Hope y'all enjoy! Xoxo

* * *

"Moon is actually _keeping_ these atrocious things?" Ash muttered under her breath as she pulled the dozenth costume from the rugged chest. Water from the flood certainly did a number on the old crate but most of the costumes inside were largely left untouched…

… _much to Ash's chagrin._

The pink tutu that still made her eyes bleed was staring back menacingly as she reluctantly peeled it from the top of the pile before throwing it back down as if burned by its silky texture.

The damn thing _would_ survive the flood that almost killed them all…

"Yeah, I s'pose." Johnny answered with a shrug whilst going through his own box. The costumes from decades long past being revealed with every item he pulled out. "Mr. Moon wanted Rosita and Gunter to choose some of these for props but I think Gunter would rather have them for his own personal collection." The gorilla chuckled upon pulling out a sequined black leotard Ash reluctantly agreed that Gunter would proudly strut and saunter around in.

Pushing the scarring mental pictures aside, Ash was quick to reply. "Let Rosita and Gunter _have_ them all, I say. Bleck." Her pink tongue pushed passed her lips upon pulling out more atrocious, form-fitting garments.

Johnny chuckled at that, "Come on, they're not _too_ bad…"

Ash flashed the gorilla a look and he merely replied with a sheepish smile.

"Alright, _I_ personally wouldn't wear them," the gorilla admitted after clearing his throat. Giving the bright red tight leather pants he just uncovered a strange look; a rosy flush lightly staining his gray cheeks, "But for stage attire, they kinda work…at least somewhat."

_Ash did not, repeat: did NOT just picture Johnny in her mind's eye wearing those..._

"Yep. Still ever the optimist, Johnny."

"Aw, thanks, Ash. I try." he chuckled throatily, flashing her a smile that had her averting her eyes back to the task at hand. Valiantly ignoring the fluttering in her stomach and chalked it up to the hideous pink tutu she was forced to touch…

 _The nerve of Moon to think she'd actually_ _**wear** _ _the damn thing…_

Shaking off the strange feeling, Ash continued to work; her and Johnny steadily going through the crates as the afternoon passed.

The slow process of saving some, discarding others that either had holes, damage, or got water-logged from the flood (or were unfortunately any shade of pink). The activity took hours but for the two, it went relatively quickly enough. A comfortable partnership including light conversation and Ash's occasional jabs at Buster's awful taste in clothing. It admittedly wasn't the most glamorous task but necessary if they were to have any costume options and/or props for everyone's upcoming performances.

It was made more bearable by Johnny chuckling at her dry and rather dark sense of humor as she threw multiple neon pink outfits into the "burn immediately" pile. His eyes crinkling in mirth at her horrid expressions as she got deeper and deeper into the chest to uncover a barrage of hideous pink dresses (although most looked like lingerie, which _really_ grossed her out and brought up many uncomfortable questions about her boss).

"If I may ask, why _do_ you hate pink so much?" Johnny couldn't help but ask an hour later; their work nearing its halfway mark.

Ash merely flashed him a look and wasn't going to dignify that with a response for who would anyone question her hatred for the grotesque color, when it should be fucking obvious, but her mouth moved anyway.

"It makes my eyes bleed," the unconvinced look Johnny flashed had her continue with a sigh. "Alright - seriously, it's just a hideous color that shouldn't exist." the porcupine stuck her tongue out upon discovering another neon pink tutu stuffed into the bottom of the chest.

"Heh. I dunno, I think that dress would look nice on ya."

Ash's face burned crimson at his "compliment"; staring in barely concealed horror at the pile of barely passable (and horrifyingly transparent) negligees then back to the gorilla's amused face. Brows furrowing at the smirk tickling the edges of his lips, she sneered and gave him the dirtiest look she could mutter with a flushed face.

"...Don't even fucking **joke** about that!" Ash growled darkly with a threatening wag of her finger and all of a sudden, her heart accelerated when Johnny threw his head back and _laughed_.

The genuine sound causing her quills to prickle and try as she might to ignore it, she found herself forcing back a smile of her own. The way his eyes crinkled around the edges and his lips parted to bare his white canines to the world had her pulse drum nearly painfully in her neck. He was looking at her with complete and utter joy alighting his chestnut brown eyes and it had a strange effect echoing deep inside her chest.

Something she swore to the highest power she did **not** like the feeling of…

"Haha, very funny…" Ash muttered, punching the gorilla's rock hard forearm before getting back to work. "That's quite enough. This work isn't gonna do itself." Forcing her eyes to remain focused on the task at hand rather than the warm look Johnny was currently giving her.

"Alright, alright..." Johnny echoed his words but she still refused to look at him.

 _I did_ _ **not**_ _sign up for this…_ the porcupine groaned internally as she ignored the ceaseless burning in her cheeks at Johnny's harmless teasing words still ringing about in her cranium.

Costume after costume was placed on hangers and laid on top of another; the work menial and using just enough mental capacity to keep her thoughts as far away from the gorilla to her right as possible. It didn't last as long as she hoped; her cheeks still burned and even as she stared at her hands, she couldn't get his smile out of her head. The warmth of his body and presence still too close for comfort, Ash scooted a bit further away.

A pessimistic part of her resurfaced; the one still regretting her decision to come to help rebuild, but when she risked a glance at Johnny (who thankfully had his eyes on his own work by now), Ash found herself regretting her decision less and less…

… _even if she would never admit it._

* * *

"Um…A-Ash? D-Do you n-need any help?"

That shy voice could belong to none other than Meena.

Ash's eyes averted from the hideous costumes all lining a rack back to the meek elephant standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Johnny had left to go help Buster with much more heavier lifting while she was stuck finishing the work they started on the costumes and stage props. The quiet wasn't as comforting or welcomed as she would have liked since the gorilla abandoned their task more than an hour ago (albeit reluctantly).

_Ash tried not to think about the connotations of that statement too much…_

"Eh, sure." Ash replied with a shrug. "I guess I could use some help since Johnny bailed on me."

Blue eyes averted so she didn't see as the elephant took small, timid steps into the room as if petrified the wood may splinter under her heavy feet and plunge her into the room below. Whether it was nervousness or actual fear, there was no witness to tell which.

Meena approached the porcupine's side a few steps later; flashing a confused glance as to what needed to be done when Ash clarified, "I guess you can finish what Johnny started by putting the stage curtains on the rods over there." Ash gestured loosely in the general direction of the gold poles lined up on the wall and the pile of heavy red cloth folded nearby.

"Oh. O-Okay. I could do that." came Meena's breathy reply.

As quiet and socially awkward Meena obviously was, Ash was kinda glad for the company - strange and unreal as that seemed. Since Johnny vacated the room, it had been too damn quiet and left her _way_ too much time to herself to think about things she'd rather keep hidden in some unused faction of her mind. Like the way her spines bristled pleasantly when Johnny accidentally grasped her hand while reaching for another hanger; his flushed cheeks and awkward rambling apology afterward and how her heart just wouldn't stop thumping erratically in her chest long after the tingling sensation his bare skin left her short fur.

_Dammit..._

Forcefully pushing those thoughts aside, Ash watched from the corner of her eye as the imposingly large mammal lumbered over to where Johnny vacated and began finishing up the work said gorilla started.

Long moments of uncomfortable silence later, Ash looked up from her task of organizing and putting the costumes on racks to Meena. The timid girl was seemingly having a hell of a time with the delicate work of getting the curtain rod inside the flimsy curtain opening - something her hands just weren't designed to do unlike Johnny's long, dexterous fingers.

Ash bit her lip and tried not to laugh at the task the look of sheer frustration growing on the normally shy, timid face. It was nice seeing another emotion on the girl for a change.

"Aw, come _on_ …" Meena grumbled under her breath when the curtain fell to the floor for the third time. A breath of air escaped her trunk as she picked it up with the extra appendage and began trying to use that to put it on rather than her shaking hands.

Needless to say, It still didn't work.

"You've got to be _joking_ …" Meena practically cursed under her breath; embarrassment and frustration obvious on her expressive face as she flashed Ash a look of mild panic. Looking as if she wanted to be _anywhere_ else in this moment and to Ash, that was hilarious, because the normally calm and collected girl was like a book hidden under lock and key… but not now.

"Oh my Gosh! S-Seriously!?" The elephant's voice cracked a bit and Ash held back a snicker when the curtain fell to the floor in a heap once again.

"Havin' a little trouble, there?" Ash asked coyly and Meena's large green eyes locked onto hers and the larger girl blushed all the way up to her tiny pigtails.

"..." Meena was mortified, ears folding over to cover her mouth until only her wide eyes were visible. "I-I'm sorry…" the tiny voice was muffled but she continued regardless, "I-I kept telling Mr. Moon t-that I wouldn't be of much help to you but he insisted he needed Johnny's help, and, _believe_ me, I tried getting out of it, but -"

Meena was nearly hyperventilating by this point so Ash quickly put her hand up to stop the elephant's frantic speech.

"Hey, **don't** apologize. There's no reason to." Ash bit out.

Trying to ignore how the girl sounded as if she preferred not being here or not even wanting to help her. Ash didn't _care_ , but hearing it still stung a little bit even if that's not what Meena intended. She chalked it up to her own emotional baggage she still harbored for even feeling that way. Instead of dwelling on it much longer, Ash regarded the elephant standing awkwardly in front of her; silently wondering what happened to this girl to make her this timid or if it was just part of her personality.

Whatever it was, Ash needed it to stop.

"Listen…" Ash offered in a much more gentle voice before approaching the elephant's side. "How about I start it for ya?" she said before gently tugging the edge of the curtain free and lining up the pole until she easily slipped the pertain of fabric over the rod.

Meena flushed at the ease in which Ash had performed the task she struggled with.

"Oh. Uh, t-thanks."

"Yep. No problem."

Meena's face slowly emerged inch by inch from behind her ears. Cheeks still stained pink as she pulled the portions of fabric over the poles until they transformed into large billowing curtains. Curtains long enough to close the stage from an audience. Ash chanced a few glances at Meena throughout; and as the moments passed, the girl in question began growing more confident in her work; timidness seemed to melt away until she reached the final part of putting the end pieces into place to keep it together.

Biting her lip, the elephant lifted her face and glanced in Ash's direction.

"Uh…Can you - I mean, if it's not _too_ much trouble, can you, um…" Meena faltered over her words but Ash understood the gist with the way Meena's eyes kept averting to the large metal object near Ash's feet.

Not responding verbally, Ash picked it up and handed it over.

"T-Thanks." Meena murmured, taking the object with her trunk. And just like that, the timidness was back as if it had never vacated in the way she flinched back from Ash's confused glance and outstretched paw.

"Mm-hmm."

"...Uh, and s-sorry, I should have grabbed it before I started."

"It's fine. _Really_." Ash shrugged before working on her own task; blatantly ignoring how Meena scooted a bit further away from her.

The two worked silently after that.

Ash hoping the monotony of organizing costumes by color would help time go by faster but it was sadly turning into a hopeless cause. Meena's eyes were heavy on her within minutes and Ash chanced a look back at Meena to again see the elephant struggling with the other curtain.

Green eyes hurriedly flicked away and back to the curtain but Ash saw how the elephant's jaw clenched and heard the thick swallow.

"What?"

"Hmm?" Meena squeaked.

"You obvious need something."

The wide-eyed look Ash was given gave away she was correct in her assumption.

"Well, I uh - I'm having trouble." Meena admitted in a hushed tone; shaking limbs presenting the curtain and the troublesome rod.

Ash bit back a retort before doing as she had before. Slipping the red fabric over the metal before handing it back over to the elephant who flinched back from her paw as if burned. Seeing that motion, Ash couldn't hold back her words, "Ya know, you could've just _asked_ me for help."

"...I-I know." Meena admitted with obvious guilt lacing her voice, "I'm sorry."

"And dammit! **Stop** apologizing!" Ash didn't mean for the statement to come out as loud as it did but fuck it, she was getting frustrated.

"Oh...Sorry…" Meena squeaked out before shrinking behind her ears again.

" _What_ did I just say..?"

Meena flinched visibly at the reprimand and sunk back in on herself; averting her far too innocent eyes from Ash who instantly felt a strange mixture of unbearable guilt and fierce anger.

Ash knew for certain that while Meena was meek and timid, she did in fact get along with other animals; something she wouldn't have believed if she hadn't seen it for herself. The large elephant had been helping Moon since they began this crazy journey. Her motions more steady and sure as she did the tasks Moon asked of her unlike how her hands were shaking now just trying to stick a rod through another reign of curtain fabric.

Thin brows furrowing as she recalled catching glimpses of Meena conversing easily with Rosita, Gunter, Miss Crawly and Eddie…hell, even Johnny and her were regular pals. The two bonding since the first audition and speaking regularly ever since like they'd been friends forever. Johnny and his unending kindness easily bringing the elephant from her shell, but with her, Meena was more than simply shy - in this moment, it was as if she was almost avoiding her on purpose. Meena's early admission that Moon was the one to talk her into helping and sounding as if the elephant preferred that job would fall back to Johnny.

Ash couldn't help it - it kinda pissed her off.

"...Are you _afraid_ of me or something?" the words came before Ash even bothered stopping them. She'd always been blunt, so why not now?

Meena's eyes grew at the sudden admission; the resolution in her bright green eyes the only indication Ash had spoken at all. "What?" she squeaked.

Ash sighed almost angrily, throwing the last garment aside to look straight into the eyes of the much larger elephant. Icy blue meeting forest green in a determined glare. "Are _you_ afraid of **me**?"

"...W-W-What do y-you mean?"

"You talk and act almost normally around everyone else but me! I see how you easily do every task asked of you by Moon, how you can talk with Rosita, Miss Crawly, Gunter, and Eddie, and don't act like I didn't see how you and Johnny were joking around while tying up those boards earlier!"

A look of confusion flashed in the larger girl's eyes at Ash's accusatory glare but the porcupine didn't give her time to intervene or argue.

"I'm like the _only_ one you're weird around - l-like you're scared I'll quill you or something. News flash, I'm **not** ; so seriously, just **stop** apologizing to me - _okay_?" Ash closed her mouth; breath coming in fast pants as she calmed down her frantic heartbeat.

Berating herself for speaking out so suddenly to a girl who didn't deserve it… _Dammit Lance…_

"I'm not afraid of you." Meena's words were spoken with the the most certainty Ash had heard from that voice.

Before Ash could even think of responding, Meena continued.

"I'm not. I just…I guess I'm just kinda intimidated is all…"

"...Wait - W-What?" Ash asked, half-laugh, half-disbelief. An elephant who could crush her to literal roadkill was intimidated by _her_? Even with a back and head of piercing quills, it was downright laughable under the sheer weight of the gargantuan mammal towering over her. Hell, even Johnny looked downright scrawny in comparison.

"W-Well… _Yeah_. Y-You're just so confident and certain about everything you do whether in the way you hold yourself and how you perform - that _Call Me Maybe_ song not counting." Meena said with a nervous chuckle and Ash bristled at the memory and how everyone here actually _witnessed_ that atrocious display…

" **Don't** bring that up again."

"Heh. Note taken." Meena giggled. "I just. I guess I wish I was more like you… You know who you are and you don't care what other animals think. I…I really admire that. For, i-if you can't tell, I'm…really shy. Like, all the time, and a-as much as I want to perform like you can do so easily, I just…freeze up and I **can't**. I don't know. I guess that's why I feel just a bit intimidated around you - but I-I'm not afraid of you. I swear. I'm sorry if you thought it was something else, but…it's not."

For once, Ash didn't know what to say.

Meena's gaze didn't falter in the least as she stared down at her - there was no doubt that Meena was indeed telling her the truth and without her permission, her chest suddenly flared with guilt for going off like she had.

"Oh." Ash finally muttered out, work forgotten to place her hands in her skirt pockets. "Well, uh…that's cool, I guess."

"Hmm." Meena smiled brightly at her and Ash found herself still at a loss for words.

Ash suddenly felt a need to repay the compliment; hell, she'd never heard the girl sing but if she was willing to work for Moon of all animals just for a chance to re-audition, she couldn't be _that_ bad or disillusioned into thinking she could hold a decent note. "You should be more confident in yourself, because seriously, who cares what anyone else thinks? Life's too short for that shit."

Meena's eyes widened at the sudden curse but didn't even hold back the sudden snort of laughter that spilled out afterward.

Ash outright smirked at the sound.

"Heh…Oh, uh…Sorry…"

Ash was not amused, "Meena, you _really_ need to stop apologizing."

"Sorry. Oh, I mean, uh - not sorry?…"

"..."

"I-I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this…"

"Yeah, no kidding." Ash shook her head but couldn't stop the smile that pulled at the edges of her lips when Meena let out another snort of laughter at her words.

In that impossible brief moment, Ash saw a side of Meena she didn't expect. One she hoped would emerge from her shell sooner rather than later…and Ash let out a smirk for she knew there were already some cracks forming.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?"

"Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah! Totally sure." Eddie shrugged, laid-back voice barely carrying over his shoulders as he ascended the ladder.

 _This definitely was_ _**not** _ _a good idea._

But there was no time to argue for Eddie's white fluffy head had disappeared over the banister that was now an impromptu roof that Johnny helped create the wooden foundation for yesterday.

Ash swallowed thickly at the rickety ladder the sheep was now holding at the top; the cottony-fluff on top of his head jostling a bit with the shift in gravity.

Every part of her now questioning what the hell she'd gotten herself into was silenced by her inner desire to finish what she started.

The porcupine stared fervently at the latter; an inner battle raging as she moved her shaking paws to grasp onto the wood; short legs still refusing to budge. Wanting to scream at Moon for even suggesting this task to her; his excuses of her being the only one light enough to do this were pure bullshit considering he was practically the same size!

Moon should be up here risking _his_ neck considering how much older he was than her!

"I can **do** this…" she muttered under her breath even as her quills prickled with the sensation of lead filling her stomach. Body desperate to remain being tethered to the earth rather than the weightless feeling awaiting her.

Pushing through it, Ash began to climb; her blue eyes betraying her and straying to the ground far beneath her feet. It may have only been a yard, but to her, it may as well be a mile. Swallowing back the panic and her childhood fear and abhorrence of heights, Ash continued to climb. The ground growing farther and farther away with every step up the rickety latter.

If she fell, at least her untimely death would be quick and generally painless…

… _at least, she_ _ **hoped**_ _it would._

Knowing her luck, she'd land on her spines; which would break and shatter inside her skin, and she'd be some hapless, disfigured, bald porcupine forced to make a living by being in some traveling freak show. The momentary terror causing her hands and feet to falter for a bit and before she could correct herself or allow the anxiety to take hold of the fact she was _indeed_ about to fall, Eddie's hand had grasped onto hers and suddenly, he was effortlessly pulling her atop the banister and onto the rather sturdy wooden frame.

"Hey! Be careful there." Eddie said, pulling her further away from the latter, "Uh, are you alright?" the sheep asked hopefully a second later now that her horrific incident of terror was officially over.

Ash merely nodded her head afraid she would start cussing him out for startling her or even worse, hugging him for probably saving her life. Now that's _two_ animals who saved her from certain death in the past two months…

"Fuckin' peachy…" she muttered under her breath.

"Great. That works." he shrugged, "Now…Uh, how you feel about hammers?" Eddie sure cut to the chase when necessary - not exactly what she was expecting from his calm demeanor.

Forgetting her near date with death, she looked at the tool Eddie was offering and Ash allowed a dark smirk to cross her lips. Fantasizing the scenario of chasing Moon down with it for this was _his_ stupid idea but it dissolved when Eddie unceremoniously plopped it into her awaiting paw followed by a small baggie of nails.

"Ready?" the sheep asked.

"...As I'll ever be." she replied with a helpless shrug. As if she had much of a choice now that she was here.

Eddie didn't verbally reply; merely stood to his feet and walked to a pile of 2x4s and began laying them out in crisscrossing pattern to join other boards that had already been laid out and nailed down earlier. How _that_ was accomplished, she didn't care to dwell on…

"So…you gonna help or what?" Eddie's voice suddenly cut through her thoughts and Ash forced back the glare she had ready.

Instead, she let out a breath she wasn't even aware she had been holding and walked carefully over to where Eddie was directing her with a wave of a hoof. Ignoring her survival instincts, Ash walked over to the edge of the wood where Eddie was holding down a board connecting to the other side. Ash forcefully swallowing back some bile when she caught a glimpse of the ground far below the pieces of plywood they stood on.

The shaking in her limbs and feet troublesome, Ash sat down to feel more tethered to the earth before she lined up a nail and hit it with a satisfying 'thwack' of the hammer. It was mostly trial and error for she had never done such a thing in her life but Eddie was patient as if he had never done this sort of thing either (she'd be flabbergasted if he had).

Ash was quite alright with working with Eddie in comfortable silence; the sheep was super laid-back and wasn't at all nonplussed that most of the nails were on their sides or stripped by the time she got done with them. As long as the board was steady, he couldn't give a crap.

An hour or so ticked by steadily and before long, the boards began making a pattern that would be able to hold lights, heavy curtains and machinery that still had yet to be installed.

"Gud job, Athsh. Few mor' dothzen and I tink we're dun." Eddie sloppily informed her around the three nails between his lips.

Not verbally responding for fear she'd smash a finger with the blunt metal, Ash nodded. Hammering down a few nails (picturing Lance face as she did so) while Eddie worked on his own, the nails that were just in his mouth now embedded into the board they were sitting on.

The wood may have been a bit crooked but Eddie brushed it off with a shrug. Ash smirked; internally wondering how Buster and Eddie could be best friends considering how different they were. Eddie the calm, mellow hipster while Buster was all enthusiastic energy and OCD tendencies who would have made sure they were damn straight. Opposites attract, she supposed.

The sheep dusted off his hands on his skinny jeans before staring down forlornly at the pile of boards still waiting to be nailed down. "Eh, those can wait for later." Eddie shrugged, "But right now, I need a _huge_ caramel iced latte. Wanna tag along? I'm buyin'."

Ash smirked; her and Eddie were gonna get along _just_ fine.

* * *

"Great job, everyone!" Buster praised, his small animated body brimming with excitement as he walked over to where most of the group (sans Eddie who had left to help Nana Noodleman earlier and Miss Crawly, who had to go home to 'rest her weary old bones') was working together on the rickety remains of what would be the stage.

As annoyingly peppy as he was right now, Ash had to admit it was a nice change from the forlorn koala with floppy ears that couldn't even meet their eyes a mere week or so ago.

The group didn't reply to Buster's announcement and not even everyone looked up to greet him for Meena and Gunter were too busy holding down a stubborn board as Johnny nailed it down. Ash looked up from the nearly splintering wood toward Moon who continued.

"Yet as awesome a job as you all are doing - _besides, thanks again for that_ \- we need to um - pick up the pace? …A **lot**."

"...We do?" Rosita asked; even halting from handing Johnny another nail in the process.

"What are you talking about, Moon?" Ash reciprocated the concern lacing Rosita's voice; thin brows furrowing at their boss.

Buster stood for a moment; meeting all the pairs of eyes while nervously biting at a black nail as an uncomfortable silence fell over the space until Johnny broke it.

Johnny's hammering had stopped and he sat back on his knees; wiping off a stray bead of sweat from his brow when he turned to look at Buster as well. "Yeah, what's the rush, Mr. Moon?" the gorilla asked; exposed muscular forearms shaking a bit with the exertion as his hands rested on his thighs and peered at the koala in utter confusion.

"If we're planning to perform soon, of course it needs to be done lickity split!" Buster announced as if it was the most obvious thing in the world; the nervousness that had been there just seconds prior was replaced with a confident smile.

The group slowly exchanged confused glances with one another when Buster continued.

"I'm planning for the concert to start this Saturday at 5pm sharp! I even contacted a few news outlets to let them know about my plans - Miss Crawly already designed some fliers and if you guys can stay late tomorrow night for rehearsal and costumes, that would be much appreciated." Buster kept droning on and on about his plans and requirements but the group wasn't really listening.

Stunned into silence by what the koala was saying; so much so that even Ash found herself incapable of interrupting him like she _desperately_ wanted.

"...Wait, **what**?" Rosita apparently was the only one capable of speaking, her exclamation causing Buster to scarcely slow down.

"Yeah - well, the stage is looking better, just needs a good sanding to make it more even. The curtains are looking great and even the ceiling is coming together, we just need to find more salvageable chairs or benches for the audience to sit and spruce up the place with a bit of paint and maybe some marble columns to add some pizzazz, I think we can make this work! So, three days ought a be _plenty_ , right?"

Everyone's tongue froze in their mouths; only multiple pairs of widened eyes met Buster's over-eager blue.

"Great! Now, enough of my blabbing - get back to work, everyone!" Buster said before in a flash, his tiny body and huge ears disappeared past the curtain and everyone was left there completely stunned with the announcement until Ash voiced what she believed every single animal in the room was thinking at that moment -

"...you've **gotta** be freakin' kidding me…"

* * *

 


	19. Skeptical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Buster's announcement, the group questions if the stage can be completed in time for the concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm actually updating again in less than a month. XD Can't promise it'll stay that way but I'll try my best. :-p
> 
> Again, I'm sorry for the long hiatus that took place previous to last chapter but I think I'm more comfortable with the direction this story is heading and I think I got over a creative hump/slump that kept me from working on this story much. Now that it's seemingly conquered, I think I'll be working harder on getting this story closer to completion.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy. xoxo :-3

* * *

"Does Moon _really_ expect us to finish this before the weekend? Has he totally lost his fucking mind!?" Ash grumbled angrily after swallowing a long gulp of her iced coffee and inwardly cringing at how the cold drink cradled in her paws made her raw, sore palms _burn_.

The impromptu two minute (at most) meeting with Buster was still bothering her an hour later. The koala proudly explaining his plan to have the show up and running and them performing by 5pm on Saturday.

_He must have been certifiably insane._

Meena flinched at Ash's sudden outburst but covered it with, "I-I'm not sure…Maybe?" she replied meekly. The elephant nursing a diet soda and fumbling nervously with the bottle before taking a slow drink.

Ash could have laughed at how quickly Meena answered her or frankly even considered Moon's mental state but she didn't say anything to refute it. If sweet, soft-spoken Meena thought the energetic koala was the least bit nuts, Moon was probably a raving lunatic - one pep-talk away from a straitjacket and heavily-padded room.

"I don't think so," Johnny weighed in his optimistic (as usual) opinion a moment later, "Mr. Moon's keeping us a good pace so I'm certain we'll be done by then if we keep working hard at it." Typical Johnny was all smiles and optimism; mostly empty bottle of water dangling loosely from between large fingers.

Instead of rolling her eyes at his optimism, (like she really, _really_ wanted to) she took another drink.

It was late afternoon and the three of them sat on some crates and boxes in the back. All deciding a break was much needed after hours in the boiling sun and finishing up the boards that would make up the stage. Working tirelessly for the past three days; showing up as the sun scarcely showed its face over the horizon til it was well fallen out of the sky and the moon took its place.

Seemingly unending work of moving rubble, creating structures for lights, curtains, and a backstage area - not to mention practicing sporadically for when (if) the concert did happen. For what good was a stage if they went out there unprepared?

Along the way, Ash realized she must have gone insane as well.

Waking up at such an ungodly hour to come down and work for free on a concert that would more than likely cause them all to miserably fail and perhaps even die in the process if the scaffolding they were building fell on them (none of them were professional carpenters or architects by _any_ stretch of the imagination). Her back ached something fierce, hands throbbed, and the lack of sleep was making her crankier than usual, but even Ash had to admit that as crazy as this decision was, she was still semi-happy she made it.

A week filled with manual hard labor she hadn't ever done before and while dealing with a sore as hell body wasn't much fun, it was admittedly nice to see the progress that was being made…

…even if Moon was bat-shit crazy to think it would be done in three more days.

In Ash's opinion, to even make a semi-decent stage with props, lights and everything should take two weeks with professional contractors - not some performers who had never done hard labor in their damn lives (herself included)!

So lost in her thoughts, she nearly jumped when Johnny suddenly continued to speak.

"B'sides, I'm thinking Mr. Moon really is in a time crunch. If given what Miss Crawly's been telling me is true anyway…" Johnny weighed in quietly a few moments later and Ash's eyes flicked over to the gorilla at her side.

Meena's eyes lifting from her soda to peer over to him as well; brows crinkled in confusion and Ash couldn't help but agree with the sentiment.

Ash took another sip before asking, "What do you mean?"

Johnny chuckled a bit; his canine's catching a bit of the afternoon's sun when he smiled at the two girls he was seated with. Ash ignored the fluttering in her chest at just how white his teeth were and the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled like that…

 _Dammit_.

"Don't know if it's gossipin', but she told me the theater has been in rough financial straights as of late an - "

"Hell, I could've told ya that." Ash interrupted, darkly chuckling as she surveyed the littered remains of said theater around them. Even with the work they'd done, it scarcely hid the fact it was a mere pile of rubble only days prior.

Johnny laughed but shook his head, "No, not like that," he clarified in the next breath.

Ash's quills prickled at his laughter at her dark sense of humor; she was still trying to get over the fact at how easily Johnny was to get along with. Most people found her more than a little prickly (no pun intended) and rough around the edges - sense of humor getting more strange looks and nervous chuckles than the genuine laugh Johnny gave and had been giving since they met.

_Just **what** was up with this guy and why was it getting so damn hard to ignore?_

"What _has_ Miss Crawly been saying, Johnny?" Meena asked meekly, voice nearly muffled behind floppy ears.

Ash couldn't help but notice the soft pink flush that cascaded over the elephant's cheeks when she looked at the gorilla. Ash glanced too and it was easy to notice her eyes straying to the wide breadth of his shoulders and muscular bared forearms from where he rolled his sleeves up in response to the heat. An unexpected stab of jealously went through Ash (where the hell did _that_ come from?!) before she quickly shook it off and spoke up.

"Yeah. What's the old lizard been sayin' now?"

"Um. Well, I-I guess Mr. Moon's been slacking in the payments he owed the bank and took out more loans to try and cover renovations a few years back as well as his mortgage. Loans he's never fully payed back cause, last I heard, the theater wasn't doing too well financially speaking." Johnny muttered lowly as if someone could overhear; the crinkles from the bottle being squeezed in his hands nearly drowning out his accented voice. "So, from what I gather, the Moon Theater could be in foreclosure and basically - belongs to the bank."

"...Are you serious?" Meena asked breathlessly, face emerging from behind floppy ears to show off widened green eyes.

Ash's brows were furrowed heavily as she took in the possible news. Ever since Buster had gotten them back to help, he'd been adamant to remain an open book and explain all of the things he'd hidden from them before - but apparently not this. He nearly got them killed over a chest of junk so it shouldn't have been news to her, but she really thought he'd learned his lesson.

So, why hide _this_ information?

Blue eyes fell to the coffee in her hands; the condensation from the ice absorbing into her paws but it was nothing compared to the chill that currently filled her spine.

"So, even as we're busting our asses trying to help this guy, Moon is _still_ hiding more information from us?" Ash wasn't aware she muttered the question out-loud but Johnny answered anyway.

"Hard to tell." he said, nervously scratching the back of his neck, "I-I don't know if it's completely true to be honest. It was just one of the many conversations Miss Crawly and I had. Times that she tended to dawdle on during piano lessons and somewhere during, I overheard about some lady from the bank that kept callin' and Mr. Moon never called her back. There was times even when she called, ya know, back before the theater fell, and Mr. Moon was panicking a bit when Miss Crawly tried handing him the phone." Johnny told his story with a slight flush coming over his cheek bones.

"I guess I was inadvertently eavesdropping sometimes," Johnny continued, "B-But I just wasn't sure how much of it was Miss Crawly just talkin' to fill the silence or if there was even any truth or simply an over-exaggeration, but…if it is true - that may well be the reason for him rushing us to finish this so soon. Perhaps he's still fearful over what that lady is intending to do even if the Moon Theater isn't even standing anymore…"

With Johnny's story finished, he tipped the water bottle back to finish its contents as Meena and Ash's eyes quickly averted to their laps.

The space had grown almost uncomfortably quiet but no one really wanted to break it.

Ash absorbed that information; inadvertently recalling a single moment that felt forever ago. One of her approaching Moon after her "performance" (or rather, her making a fool of herself with tears and snot running as she sang the worst song known to animal-kind). At some point in her and Moon's conversation, Miss Crawly did mention some Jasmine? Julie? Maybe Judy or something from the bank was on one of the lines and the panic that flared in the koala's eyes had his whole body frozen in place. It wasn't something that stood out at that moment because of her inner grief and focusing too much on her own petty problems to notice but now it was startlingly clear that Johnny could indeed be right.

"Ooh! Is dis zee break-room?" Gunter's voice echoed in from the make-shift doorway of planks of wood and an upright pallet.

The sudden noise gratefully breaking all the teens from their internal reverie. And just like that, three sets of eyes landed on the portly pig who wore a big smile and carried a small work-out bag in one hoof with a blended coffee with lots of drizzled chocolate in his other.

"I wouldn't call it that." Ash muttered, lips pursing as took a languid sip of coffee while giving their small claustrophobic space a once-over. Meena giggled a bit at her comment and that had Ash giving her a curious glance when Johnny spoke up.

"Yeah, it's not really much, but we made due with what we had." Johnny answered, patting the crate next to him to invite the pig over. "Come on, plenty of room for more."

Seeing Gunter begin walking over to accept his offer, Johnny scooted over. In his haste to make enough room for Gunter, he bumped his hip against Ash's and she felt herself flinch instinctively at the unexpected contact.

"Oi, oops. Sorry, Ash." Johnny breathed out an apology to her as Ash wiped away a stray droplet of coffee from her chin. "You alright?"

_There it was_ _**again** _ _._

That fucking jolt every damn time the gorilla so much as _breathed_ too close to her - let alone gave any physical contact. It was like her fur was on fire and the only thing to douse herself in was cooking oil. Ash had absolutely _no_ idea when their reluctant friendship began or when it transformed into her having trouble breathing normally around him, but she was frankly getting fucking sick of it.

"Yea. Just peachy." she uttered. Thankfully, no one noticed her inner torment and Gunter kept speaking as if nothing was amiss.

"Ooh! Dank you, Johnny!" Gunter sighed dramatically before plopping down on the wooden crate next to the gorilla. "Ah! It's jus' _so_ nice ta sit down fer a bit. Buster eez workin' us pretty hard. I thought with all mah dancin', I'd be in bettah shape!" the pig was laughing as he wiped his brow with the back of one arm and chortling a bit before taking a long sip of his chocolaty drink with a pleased moan.

Johnny chuckled, "I think you're doing very well, Gunter - to work all day and you and Mrs. Rosita still 'aving time to practice at the end of the day sure is commendable."

"Mm-hmm." Meena was quick to agree with a small smile sent in the flamboyant pig's direction.

Ash shrugged, doing something akin to a nod before taking another drink.

"Dank you. Youse all ez too kind!" he flushed at the compliment before digging in his tote to pull out his bedazzled phone. The pig immediately moving his hooven fingers across the glass in a furious motion as if answering many texts he'd received throughout the day.

The others looked away after long moments of silence. Conversation apparently over almost as soon as it began, each lost themselves to their inner musings once again.

Ash played with the green straw of her drink, pushing the end of it around the bottom of the cup. Anything to keep her mind off of her sudden questioning of even being here (and her changing feelings toward Johnny but she _refused_ to tackle that beast just yet), the other hellbent on finding Moon and grabbing him by his huge fluffy ears and throttling him until he confessed everything. She wanted answers as to why the rush to finish so soon - especially now? The structural integrity of the stage they were building now was shady at best so rushing was only going to put them in dire straights and not solve a single fucking thing.

Yet the longer Ash sat here, she found her anger waning.

Perhaps it was mere exhaustion or she just didn't seem to care anymore - just wanting the concert over and done with. If it succeeded - great. If not, then she could move on with her life with absolutely nothing holding her back. But if she died because of Moon's incompetence when the stage crumbling to sawdust under her feet… well, she decided she'd damn sure haunt to his ass and hopefully, her parents would take him for every fucking cent he got.

The porcupine shook her head, fighting the smirk that wanted to rise on her face at the thought - there was that dark humor again. Not caring to dwell on it anymore, she was kinda glad when Johnny spoke up and broke the silence and took her out of her thoughts.

"Mrs. Rosita! Come join us!" Johnny suddenly called out with a wave, pairs of eyes that were glued to their laps or phones now focused on the mother pig that passed by the door.

Rosita seemed a bit jarred by the sudden invitation but she took it in stride; flashing the young gorilla a calm smile before walking into the room.

"Oh. Uh, sure. I'd love to. Thanks." Rosita said, sitting down next to Ash and flashing the porcupine a gentle smile Ash found herself unable to return in any sort of genuine fashion. Ash was still too lost in her own head to really pay anyone else much mind; just hoping none of her inner turmoil was visible on her face.

Rosita was sure to smile at the rest of the group before she plopped her bag on her lap; a tired sigh leaving the mother's mouth as she stretched out her legs in front of her. Morosely rubbing her sore muscles and stretching out her back until it made a satisfying pop. Rosita flinched at the sudden loud sound but you could see the relief flooding her face.

"Are you alright, Mrs. Rosita?" Johnny asked, flashing the female pig a sympathetic look.

"Oh, yeah! Of course, Johnny sweetie. I'm just really tired is all - that I'm sure all of us are." she chuckled warmly, reaching over Ash's lap to give Johnny's knee a gentle squeeze before taking a healthy gulp of her water. "Whew, and I thought my kids wore me out, but this is _ridiculous_."

"I-I told Mr. Moon to give ya less labor-intensive things to do - considering ya have 25 kids and all ta look after. Can't 'ave ya throwing out your back 'cause of this." Johnny mentioned, thick brow ridges furrowing.

"Oh, no! That's not bad. Mr. Moon isn't asking me to do anything too hard; I actually think Gunter's choreography he planned for our performance is harder than the work to be honest." Rosita said, giving said pig a pointed look that Gunter smiled at. Letting out a tired chuckle as she took a small Tupperware from her purse; opening the blue lid to reveal her sandwich, chip, and carrot stick lunch.

Ash couldn't help but allow her lips to curl into a smile at the interaction between Rosita and Johnny. How protective the gorilla seemed to be from the middle-aged mother and in turn how she treated him (and basically, all of them honestly _)_ like her own kids. Eyes settling on her coffee, she missed the forlorn look that flashed over Johnny's face for the briefest of moments before he wiped it clean.

"Oh, you'll get it zoon 'nough!" Gunter jumped in the conversation. "We're almost zere - ta feel und fire un desire in your dancing! Ya will zoon understand da passion!" he took the moment to jostle his hips and Ash smirked when Johnny scooted a bit more away as not to be bumped by Gunter's gyrating hips.

Rosita chuckled after taking a bite. "Yeah. We'll get there soon. Don't have any choice really."

A silence permeated the air after those words left her mouth.

No doubt that Rosita and Gunter were still battling with Moon's words and demands as well (even if they hid it well). The previous conversation before the two pigs showed up still filled the air around the group with unanswered questions and a thick wave of tension that was easily discernible on Johnny and even Meena's face. A conversation the pigs weren't aware of but they were there - they heard Moon's plan yet seemed content to just keep acting as if nothing was amiss.

Ash didn't feel like she should be the one to take that away - so, reluctantly, she stayed silent.

No one really cared to expose the elephant in the room - the figurative one anyway. So, while all were thinking about it, no one said anything. None of them exactly sure how to take the news of Buster rushing them to complete or what was going to transpire these next few days, but all Ash knew for certain was that it was way too damn late for any of them to back out now.

* * *

 


	20. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night before the concert and on the way back to her apartment, her and Johnny get caught in the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I'm so sorry that this took forever. I just keep getting distracted with other stories but I promise, I am always trying to find time to work on this one! Hope you enjoy. ;-3
> 
> Oh, and btw, this is a rather heavy Johnny x Ash chapter - fucking finally. It only took 20 damn chapters lol. XD

* * *

"So…tomorrow's the concert."

"Yep."

"...Heh. It's crazy. I-I don't know if it's just me or what, but…I really didn't think this would've happened. You know, after the flood and whatnot."

At Johnny's admission, Ash gazed up at the gorilla walking beside her.

Tall silhouette lost mainly in the darkened clouds hovering over the city the past two days. Clouds heavily swollen with precipitation that had still yet to fall and quench the thirsting earth. Large hands buried deep in his denim pockets and staring out in front of him as he slowly walked to keep up with her much shorter strides with a faraway look etched into his chestnut gaze. A look that had only gotten more intense as the past week that had ticked by and the concert date had gotten closer to fruition.

Ash, biting her bottom lip, was tempted to ask him about it during so many instances this past week. Wanting to bring it up sometime during their various tasks and sporadic practices but there simply wasn't enough time to get over her lead tongue. As much as she desired to understand and know Johnny better, her mouth decided otherwise; afraid to get attached to any of these animals she'd been working with (reluctantly at first) these past few months.

It was admittedly an emotional wall she'd hastily built out of fear, anxiety, her own damn stubbornness and blatant refusal to get hurt again. Because ultimately, when this house of cards fell, it would be easier to simply walk away and hopefully forget it all happened in the first place…

"...Me neither." Ash had to agree a few moments later; tentative voice nearly getting lost on a sudden chilled breeze.

Ash felt Johnny's eyes peering down at her now but she ignored the sensation to hit the round button on the upcoming light pole. Blue gaze drifting to the illuminated block of red numbers counting down the time until they were allowed to safely cross the street.

"But I'm glad it is," Johnny murmured almost as an afterthought, "Even if we never see a dime from this or nothin' comes out of it, at least it's a dream fulfilled in some way, huh?"

Ash's gaze flicked up to Johnny's face and was surprised to see him staring down at her with such gentle regard. "Yeah, I guess…" she tapered off.

As the last seconds ticked by on the counter, Johnny said something she didn't expect.

"I'm also glad ya changed yer mind." he admitted lowly, his eyes now wandering from her form to peer back in front of him like prior.

Ash didn't catch the sudden emotion that flickered in his coffee-tinted eyes.

"That day I brought back your guitar to ya," Johnny continued lowly, "I thought maybe it would convince you to give this another chance should the opportunity arise. Yet that call you made to me after Moon's change of heart - I really thought that would be the last time I ever heard from you. I'm…I'm just glad that you gave it another chance even if you probably didn't want to."

The walk signal suddenly chimed on across the street but Ash stayed still even as the animals surrounding them had begun to walk around the two unlikely friends frozen on the edge of the sidewalk.

Johnny, foot lifting as if he wanted to take a step to see if she would follow, tentatively set it back down to gaze curiously at her lack of movement. A rosy flush blossomed on his cheeks under her sudden scrutiny but he didn't say anything further.

Ash, not daring to show on her face how his words affected her, flashed him a sudden smirk.

"Heh. Ya can't get rid of me that easily, Johnny." She chuckled, shaking her head before making her way across the crowded street; leaving Johnny gaping for a drawn-out second before running after her once the daze wore off.

The porcupine, in the meantime, kept her face forward whilst valiantly ignoring how her heart beat funny at the sincerity in his voice that still echoed in her head.

* * *

The two continued the trek to her apartment in relative silence following the moment neither of them seemed eager to bring up again. Heartfelt words and confusing feelings (as well as stress for whatever tomorrow held) kept both of them rather tacit on the walk to her apartment.

Ash wasn't fully aware of when her and Johnny's relationship - or whatever it was between them - took such a drastic turn to where both of them skirted around each other, but she she didn't much care for it. Hated feeling this growing attachment to the gentle giant…she fervently prayed whatever this sentation was turned out to be temporary.

Both lost in their thoughts, neither really noticed or acknowledged the low roar of thunder that rolled across the heavens and slowly approached them. It was only three blocks from her apartment when the storm was determined to make itself known. A resounding **_crack_ ** of thunder echoed and scattered across the sky, white hot lightening flashing across the gray clouds and dark sky in a burst of blinding blue light.

Ash halted mid-step, quills prickling with the sudden electricity that filled the air; Johnny followed suit. Abruptly, it was as if the sky had ripped open and, before either could react, huge cold droplets began plowing into the earth in a virtual monsoon.

"Aw, fuckin' seriously? _**Now**_?" Ash complained as the rain started pounding onto them.

"Bugger…" Johnny agreed with the sentiment, lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the downpour before they began to trek faster toward her apartment.

Along this particular stretch of road, there would be absolutely no awnings or barriers between them and the cold drizzle. The animals surrounding them took out umbrellas, scattered into vehicles or residences but Johnny and Ash had _nothing_ to shield them from the downpour. Sending a quick glance to one another, Johnny and Ash began jogging toward her apartment.

The rain was so heavy, blurring their vision and weighing down their clothes and it was so damn _cold_ , so much so that Ash's steps slowed than stopped; Johnny loyally stayed by her side and waited. The porcupine breathed out a huff; cursing her lack of jacket or anything to help with the chill while drawing her arms across her chest. Frozen in place, all of a sudden, her quills prickled when a familiar sensation overcame all other senses.

_The rain had stopped hitting her._

Frigid droplets that attached themselves to her short fur, spines and clothes just seconds prior had stopped completely and for a second, she thought the rain had ceased but staring only a foot ahead, there were droplets still pounding the pavement.

Brows furrowed, she lifted her eyes; upon realizing she was now shielded underneath Johnny's leather jacket.

The gorilla had stopped in his tracks beside her, holding the leather garment over her body with only a simple smile pulling his lips back. Warm streetlight behind him putting his silhouette in harsh contrast to the gray clouds and as much as she wanted to push away the selfless offering, she found her paws had other ideas. Ash raised her hands and gently pulled his jacket to lay over her, covering her quills and small body effectively from the rain.

Neither spoke, Johnny merely nodded, smile widening, before continuing to head to her apartment. It was now her turn to follow him wordlessly; heart hammering and this time, it wasn't from simple exertion…

* * *

"Ya didn't have to do that." Ash muttered breathily, still trying to catch her breath as they finally stood underneath the dry awning by her front door. The porcupine tried her damnedest to ignore Johnny's gentle gaze while pulling off his leather jacket from narrow shoulders and handing the dripping garment back to him.

"I wanted to." he responded and Ash did _not_ , repeat, did **not** , think he looked ridiculously handsome with drooping wet hair and scattered droplets of rainwater cascading down his smiling face. It didn't matter that her heart was pounding (from the exertion of the three block desperate run to her apartment of course) and not how his smile was like a warm summer day in the midst of a blizzard storm.

Ash didn't even bother dignifying that with a real response; icy blue eyes slipping to her warm and dry apartment and back to the sidewalk where the rain still pelted the concrete.

Johnny was soaked from head to toe but it didn't seem to bother him as he took the garment back and slipped the leather jacket back over ridiculously broad shoulders.

While he busied himself with straightening it out, Ash felt inclined to speak - admittedly, stupidly so, "Thanks," she muttered. "Ya know, walking me home and whatever…" she vaguely gestured to the jacket.

Johnny's eyes widened for a fraction of a second at her admission before he calmly met her gaze. Another toothy smile tugging at the corners of his lips while he replied, "Yer welcome, Ash."

"Mm-hmm." she crossed her arms, still feeling damp and cold even if her insides felt as like an inferno - fuck, she hoped she wasn't getting a fever _now_ of all fucking times - but she found herself more terrified of a different explanation she was definitely **not** considering now.

The gorilla awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other, "Well, um, I guess I'll be seein' ya tomorrow. It's gonna be a a hectic tomorrow to get everything for the show - an' performin' of course - so ya better rest up."

"Oh. Yeah… The concert. O-Okay." she replied a lot calmer than she felt even if her words were less than poetic. "You too."

"Alright. Have yerself a g' night, Ash."

"Night."

With another dazzling smile and a nod, he turned to leave but Johnny looked a bit reluctant to step out back into the monsoon but he hid it underneath a determined smile as he adjusted his jacket for the third time in the span of a few minutes. His foot lifted, fully prepared to step out from beneath her front door awning and back out into the rainy night…

"...Johnny, **wait**!" Ash blurted out, hand moving before she even realized what happened.

Ash breathed hard for a second; blue eyes consumed at the sight of what she'd gone and done without any rational thought…

Her tiny hand was wrapped desperately around Johnny's pinky in order to keep him here; whether it was for his comfort to shield him from the rain like he'd done for her, or she just _really_ didn't feel like being alone just yet, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that her stomach twisted into tangled knots and her chest burned from witnessing just how much larger (and warmer) his hands were than hers; small fingers barely able to grasp fully around the circumference of his smallest digit.

Swallowing thickly at her sudden (and rather uncharacteristic) action, Ash peered up at him from under thick black lashes.

"Um, the rain should stop soon. You should stay awhile until it does." she muttered; her voice thankfully much calmer than she felt inside. "You know, i-if you want…"

Johnny peered down at her; a mix of curiosity and surprise blatantly obvious in his gentle gaze.

"...A-Are you sure, Ash?"

"Well, yeah." she quickly pulled back her hand as if burned by his incredibly warm skin. Nervously brushing back an errant quill that stuck a bit to her cheek all while scooting back a bit to gesture in invitation for him to enter her apartment. "I - I can make us some coffee or something to warm us up." she continued, internally punching herself for how she sputtered frantically around the words.

Johnny remained quiet for a second, his eyes languidly scanning her face for whatever reason before another smile upturned his lips. "Sure. That sounds lovely. Thank you, Ash."

Ash found herself smiling back.

…just what the _hell_ was she doing?

* * *

 


End file.
